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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    158 Times in 129 Posts

    No heads up at all! :(

    Long story but very sad and disappointed. My DD is stating JK in the fall every other day and one of my daycare kids is starting with her. I originally picked a days for her and got her registered. Daycare Mom said B days are better and she is registering her DD for that day so it would be better for them to not only be together but it would be better for me if there on the same days.

    I changed my DDs days and now my daycare Mom says her DD is going to Montessori school? I was like pardon? She hasnt even told me due to me needing to fill her space for Sept? I asked her what she was doing and she said shes not sure????

    Its been 2 months and I asked her again last month to let her know I was holding her spot, as her DD is my DDs best friend.

    She said yesterday the she still hasnt registered her and she sees her DD in a uniform anyway and if I need to fill my spot then to go ahead? WTF

    I am so upset due to the fact that I changed my schedule for her. I called the school to see if she can go back to A days as it works best for my schedule and they said its really full and they will put her in and see how it goes but there may not be any guarantees. Another Mom down the street recommended a teacher as well so I requested her to be in her class.

    Now I can arrange another daycare Mom of mine to take her to and from school for me as long as she can stay on A days.

    I also figured it out that daycare Mom is probobly going to be sending her DD to catholic school as there JK program is full days and this way no daycare fee's. This isn't what is upseting me it's the fact that she hasn't told me squat! Totally not cool!
    Give an inch of yourself and they take more than a mile!

    Please pray for me those that do that it will all work out!

  2. #2
    apples and bananas
    oh no, I hope it all works out. It sounded like the beginning of a good plan. Just goes to show that you need to take the lead and not follow what other people do.

    I hope that it works out for you and you get your child on the days that you want her in. It's horrible that you did all of this for someone who isn't sure.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    173 Times in 136 Posts
    Sigh sorry to hear that Skysue. That really sucks. You just can never trust a parent with plans that far ahead. Especially never trust a parent who answers vaguely about future plans.

    Don't hate but I was actually once in a situation where my daycare provider was asking me about what school I was enrolling my son in and offering to drive one way etc. I kept answering her very vaguely because I was sure that by Sept I wouldn't be able to afford to send my children to daycare. At that time I was doing my own business and it was losing money and I was trying to think of a way to tell my wonderful provider the bad news but I couldn't for a few months because I felt so bad for her. I always remember how I felt as a parent and how guilty/torn I felt because she was awesome but I just couldn't bring myself to say it for months at a time.

    Eventually I told her - we both cried and hugged for a long time and we moved on positively and I eventually opened my own daycare a couple of years later. Now I know that parents can sometimes change their mind when it comes to someone starting JK or what happens 6 months down the road and I remind myself that parents (just like me) occasionally have to do tough decisions that work best for them.

    If I was you, I would make my own arrangements, interview etc and if she changes her mind then it is too bad. She can't expect you to wait around for her to make up her mind.
    It pretty much sounds like she is gone anyways and just doesn't want to make the final cut yet in case her plans fall through.
    Good luck

  4. #4
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    949 Times in 781 Posts
    I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that nonsense Skysue. Another lesson to always look out for yourself because the parents in our care will always look out for themselves. It's a sad fact and hard to learn because most of us are the type of women who have giant loving, nurturing hearts. They are not our FRIENDS, they are our CLIENTS. They are not like us, they are out in the backstabbing world and when you get some wonderful women in your daycare you are really lucky. We are in business and we have to look out for ourselves and we can't lose sight of that.

  5. #5
    Euphoric ! Inspired by Reggio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    945 Times in 686 Posts
    I am sorry you are dealing with this Skysue - is sucks that you trusted that your 'relationship' had become more than just you being a business provider and she a client - cause friends do not do that to one another - friends communication openly with each other and trust that the other one will accept their decision even if they do not agree with it ... she obviously is in a different place in the relationship for sure and sadly IMO another lesson in why in this business it is important to keep relationships at that professional 'distance' of business and save and 'social commitments' outside of business for after they have left care cause the two rarely mix and often conflict with each other cause doing what is best for the business is sometimes not what is best for the 'friendship' or vice versa such as you changing your plans for the 'friendship' even though it was not best for the 'business' to have your child on that schedule

    I empathize that it can be very hard when your children are involved as well - but the sad reality is that many clients view 'childcare' as disposable including the relationships that are developed in it ... they do not think about the connections and friendships their child is developing just that their 'childcare needs' are met .... which is what allows them to so easily 'rip' their child from one arrangement to another without discussing it with the child or thinking about the child's 'social emotional' needs at that time.... this always breaks my heart to explain to little kids that their 'friend' is now gone from their life and to help them grieve that loss!

    The other challenge with this business is that 'everyone out for themselves' mentality ... IMO it leads to negative energy where we are all focused on someone screwing us over we do not trust that the universe can and will take care of us if we LET IT and in our negative frame of mind we 'sabotage' ourselves by attracting that behaviour in each other - we bring out that sense of 'scarcity and need to protect ourselves from each other' ... clients are afraid to be truly HONEST about their long term needs because they are afraid if their honest plan is to LEAVE that the provider might bail on them before they are ready to end the relationship leaving them with no care ... which is why we get clients who are 'vague' in answering questions about plans for the future specially if they are uncertain themselves still. Vise versa - when a provider needs to make a 'change' in their business model they are afraid to tell clients until the last possible minute because they too are afraid the client will bail on them before they are ready leaving them with reduced income and so forth .... loose loose for everyone as everyone is keeping 'closed' what their needs are in each other and therefore no one needs truly get met and everyone is left feeling 'cheated or lied to' ... more negative energy

    In reality we need to change our way of thinking to trust that everything happens for a reason even if in the moment it is hard for us to 'recognize' it ... so if a client leaves it is because there is something else around the corner to bring balance back to our program and a new lesson and opportunity into our life....we need to embrace that.

    I am an anal planner myself, uncertainty drives me nuts at times, however I have been working VERY hard not to PLAN too far ahead in my business and to not make choices based on any one client or myself for that matter but on the over all needs of the program ... because the reality is that the universe deals us curve balls that we might not anticipate - clients get laid off, clients get transferred, clients move, clients get pregnant, clients get sick, clients separate and divorce and well 'leave' unexpectedly and yes sometimes clients just do not value the relationship the same way we do and 'hurt us' inadvertently with their selfish behaviour ... there are SO MANY things that can happen in our programs that can suddenly make it 'change' in regards to enrollment however if we are always making plans based on the 'overall best interest of the program' it should not matter if one person changes within that because you can and will attract a new person to fill that void and bring balance back into the program!

    Sending vibes that your needs for September will be met, both for your business and for your daughter and school ... but trust that if they are 'different' than what you had planned that the reason is because it was meant to be and make the BEST of the situation that arises ... whether it be that you get the schedule A and your DCM leaves and you welcome someone new into your program as a result or be it that you get the schedule A and your client ends up STAYING but is on the B and the girls are 'separated' in class and so forth .... whatever the outcome 'stressing' over it 4-5 months ahead of time is not going to change anything - it only gives that negative energy worrying brings a chance to do damage in your body and soul

    I have 3 spaces opening up in my program for September - something that in my past would have been TRULY stressing me out to be getting those filled NOW cause that is a whole lot of income ... however life is too short to be stressing NOW about something A) I have little control over aside from putting it 'out there' that I have a need and B) is 5 months away from that need being met anyway - instead I am hoping for the best but planning for the potential loss by putting some extra money aside 'just in case' but over all I trusting that the universe WILL bring me the clients I need in the time frame that is best for the program and that that extra money will than become 'Christmas funds' instead

    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    158 Times in 129 Posts
    I know reggio I'm actually over it but I just pray everything works out for my DD & me! This daycare mom used to do daycare and they live across the street I really thought that she would have given me some sort of idea. I don't consider my clients my friends I never posted that I did. I was just doing the 'B' day thing as the best solution to my busniess as I would be getting them there and picking them up.

    Having 2 kids on the same schedule would have worked best for me, out waying the days a vs b. Now that its just me DD 'a' days do work best!

    Anyway just needed to vent my frustrations to people who would understand them!

    I'm not posting my ad right now either as I have a few on a wait list and we will see what happens!

    Being procative & early in the school system has to happen in my area as we don't have enough schools.
    Last edited by Skysue; 05-06-2012 at 08:23 AM.

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