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  1. #1
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    2 week notice, update.

    Hi everyone,

    So after giving my 2 week termination notice, my little 4 yr old screamer has done a total change around! She hasn't cried or screamed since i gave them notice! At pu today mom asked me if they came up with a plan to deal with her bad behaviour, if i would reconsider and allow her to stay with me! Their apparent plan is for me to call dad without warning and he will come and take her home with a punishment of grounding. So far she has been a little angel with me since Friday! Has anyone had a family do this? Would you take you notice back? Ugh not sure what to do with this!!!

  2. #2
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    It depends on how you feel about the parent's promise to work on the behaviour and if they are serious about working with you for a good solution. Do you really think that this child isn't going to figure out that if she acts up she gets her Daddy to come to get her early? I really don't think that's a great plan.

    Can you sit down with the parents and talk it out? I'm glad the little one has made some changes in her behaviour, that's promising. Good luck with your decisions.

  3. #3
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    humm...it's still "NEW", right? I'd think about extending the deadline by a few weeks and see if it REALLY is working. Also make it clear that at the very FIRST sight of "old kid" again they will then have ONE week from that day on to hit the road!

    Good Luck!

    And I really really hope this does work out!!
    Satisfaction Guaranteed or Double Your Kids Back!!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Momof4 View Post
    Do you really think that this child isn't going to figure out that if she acts up she gets her Daddy to come to get her early?
    LOL this makes me laugh because my dcg does NOT like when her dad comes to get her vs mom. I feel really bad for him but it's his fault. She will open the door and say "ohhhh noo...its daddy" then runs away and has a tantrum not to go with him crying, screaming and all!! So if it was one of THOSE days all I have to say is 'do you want daddy to come get you tomorrow? no? then stop it!" it works....mom feels bad but the kid walks all over them. <<eye roll>>
    Satisfaction Guaranteed or Double Your Kids Back!!

  5. #5
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    Tough call - personally I would not take them back and stick to my guns ... I am a mean what I say and say what I mean type gal ... with children and with adults I rarely renegotiate a decision I have made because than it leads to people not taking me seriously and thinking anything I decide is 'negotiable' if they pester at me long enough. My advice to the clients was 'ya I am sorry it took me having to terminate for you to SEE that this was a problem - but my decision stands!

    Seriously where was this hard ass approach when you were ASKING for help months, weeks, days before you reached your 'decision' to terminate ... where was this hard ass approach when their daughter stood in your driveway and disrespected you and the mother said NOTHING?

    I cannot work with clients were it took me terminating them for their eyes to be opened that there was a problem and well even IF the kids behaviour was in a bit of a honeymoon of improvement this week - I cannot 'forgive or forget' the lack of support from the clients when I needed them or move forward trusting they would 'support' me again should another issue with their child arise or the honeymoon end again so to speak.

    Ultimately your choice of course - I have no emotional connection to the family or child impacting my decision to say 'not on your life' ... but based on what you've shared on here - I would be so done!
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
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  7. #6
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    uhhhhh.....ok I change my mind after reading what Reggio said HAAHAHAHA
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  8. #7
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    Yeesh... that is a toughie. In actuality, I probably would give them one more chance. BUT- I agree with everything that Reggio said.
    What I would like to think is that you terminating them was the final wake up call that they needed and they will now partner with you to raise this little girl.
    I would FOR SURE be letting them know that they are on thin ice right now, and pretty much for all eternity, LoL. If you even sniff out the thought that maybe things are reverting to the way they were, I would firmly and finally say goodbye. Everyone deserves a second chance, but you know the old saying about "Fool me once...".
    In regards to the "consequence" (Dad coming to pick her up), is that really going to work? Most kids I know WANT to go home, to their own space and toys, etc. I am thinking that she will be catching on pretty quickly as to how to use that to her advantage.
    Whatever you decide, I hope it goes well!!

    PS- It always makes me a little nervous when a child has a COMPLETELY different reaction to one parent vs. the other. My cynical mind I guess...

  9. #8
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    Yup - I have never understood 'suspension' as a consequence for poor behavior either in daycare or in school cause to me that is a REWARD for the child ... going home early, being at home with their toys and so forth ... sure it is punishment for the PARENT cause they now have to care for their kid but for the kid unless the parents reaction out weighs the perk of getting to come home it is not a deterrent for the KID?
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

  10. #9
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    Personally it all seems like a HUGE line of B.S to me. Don't let them feed it to you. If they actually took you seriously they would have been proactive already. Daycare girl could be sweet as pie due to the fact that she knows she is leaving.

    It seems to me like they let her be in control and why would she be giving in soooo easily. It sounds to fishy to me, I wonder what she gets if she behaves perfect for them. These types of parents always give a HUGE pay off.

    You need to decide what you want to do but I wouldn't go back on that kind of a decision. Plus why is this child so disrespectful to her own father? If you can't respect your own parents then what is that saying about her character. I suppose it just may be Mom that’s the big softy? Even still why risk all that drama again?

    If you do decide to give another chance I would tell them that there would be no more 2 weeks notice given. Let there be only immediate termination if her behavior returns.

  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by momof5 View Post
    Their apparent plan is for me to call dad without warning and he will come and take her home with a punishment of grounding.
    Doesn't grounding mean no toys, no tv, NOTHING??
    I would think that if dad takes her home and she just sits all day it would be pretty boring and daycare IS the better/funner choice? I dunno...
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