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  1. #1
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    Why are they hiding....

    the fact that dcgs mom is pregnant from me!?!

    A little while back dcg pointed to her belly and said "I have a baby like mommy". I laughed....but thouhgt it was weird since she's never been a 'baby/doll' playing little girl. So when mom came to PU, I said in a joking way "You'll never guess what ***** said today.....haha" She just laughed, not denying it.........hummmmm my radar went up.

    Thursday (yesterday) morning at drop off mom was wearing a tight top and I saw a bump, again hummm but also guessed that she may have always had one and winter clothing covered up. I even spoke to other dcp's at a playgroup saying that I think dcgs mom is expecting.

    So being in a lot of pain (pulled my neck) and can't sleep <as you might tell on the time stamp from this post> I had a lightbulb idea...check Facebook! And I did and dcg's mom has NOTHING set to private...I saw everything - the ultrasound picture and even when they announced it to all her FB friends...a MONTH ago!! Shes due November 3rd (also noted on FB).......so why NOT tell ME??

    Like really?? I dont get it....
    Last edited by Mamma_Mia; 05-11-2012 at 01:41 AM. Reason: Spelling
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  2. #2
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    Lol, people are so funny.

    You should make the kids BABY carrots for snack one day and specifically mention it. Or start to talk a lot about a "new baby" you might have attending daycare... lol Bring up the new "bump" in your driveway ect ect. People are fun to play with when they dont' know what you know.

  3. #3
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    I have been lucky in this respect. I have had 3 families bring their 12 month olds to begin daycare and tell me immediately that they are currently pregnant with the next one. I can understand someone not saying anything for the first 3 months as its quite common for things to happen during those 3 months...but after that they should have the respect to tell you.

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  5. #4
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    I had a child tell me that exact thing a few months ago. I told Mom at the end of the day. I said this is what your daughter is telling people, just so they know. Also keep in mind many people don't want to saying anything until the second trimester . My advice is ask her.....

  6. #5
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    Maybe she's worried that you will replace her child with another once you know so as not to have any gap in income? Or, even more likely, she isn't yet sure what she wants to do abotu daycare during her mat leave (some people want to keep the child in daycare full-time or part-time or some combination of that, while others decide to take the child out altogether). Maybe she is waiting until she has a better idea of what she wants so that she can give you a clear idea.

  7. #6
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    My guess would be the same as kangroomama in that she is afraid to say anything partly because she doesn't know what your reaction will be.What have you done in the past as in would she know that you replaced a family or she may have friends that actually terminated the family so maybe she is waiting till after the end of June so she will have care at least till Sept.

    Also a lot post of facebook and just assume that translates into telling everyone forgetting that not all important people in their lives are actually on their facebook.

    The fact she denied it or at least didn't admit it is a bit strange and what I might do is give it a week and then come right out and ask her. Say something like since the daughter continued to make comments and since it impacts your income etc you feel you need to get to the bottom of it. While it isn't something you normally just come out and ask someone, in this case since you know it is a baby and not just that she put on weight. Tell her that you are seeing signs that it might be true and not sure why the information hasn't been shared (not sure I would mention facebook) but that there are many things to consider as far as daycare/maternity leave goes and you will work with her to sort out what is best for everyone. Then leave it at that.

    If she does continue to deny it or at least not admit to it then as a caregiver I would be concerned and might consider advertising for a new child for January. That way the family has care till the baby is born and you are available for the first month while mom recovers but then you need the stability of knowing the space is filled so the family is on their own and since mom is on mat leave you won't be putting anyone out. Then if you have any extra days the older one could come fine and if not well fine for you too. As long as mom know she is secure till the end of the year that should help. But it also gives you all summer to play around with ideas and bring them up in conversations but also Aug to Dec to find someone to start after Christmas.

    And I would be regularly checking into her facebook to watch for phrases like my mom is coming for a month and then motherinlaw for a month or my unemployed cousin has offered to come and help out with both kids....

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  9. #7
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    re: the waiting to wait until AFTER the 2nd trimester....then why tell everyone on your facebook?? ]"***** wants to let everyone know she is going tto be a big sister[/I]" on April 8th, over a month go and due date Nov. 3rd....that puts her around 15 weeks along now.

    We even talked about it three weeks ago when I mentioned a new baby coming in my family, then I said how my family is the type that "pees on the stick" and tells everyone right away, we don't wait. She then said "yeah us too"

    It very well could be that shes unsure about daycare and I'd understand that...I just feel so unimportant



    Time to start advertising ASAP!!
    Last edited by Mamma_Mia; 05-11-2012 at 10:05 AM.
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  10. #8
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    I told DH this morning and he didnt say anything......then he just replied with "send her a text saying by-the-way, Congratulations or on Sunday wish her a Happy Mothers Day x2" I wouldnt do that but it's funny to think it :P
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  11. #9
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    I don't know. it all sounds very fishy to me. maybe she dreamt that she told you haha I'm the type of person that would write out an email to my daycare provider and communicate what is happening and what my fears are. Because I know that hiding it would just make it worse. It seems very strange that she is not admitting or denying. I would just bring it flat out. "Your daughter told me you guys are having a baby! Congratulations! That's so exciting!" Don't approach her negatively and say "I need to know for my wellbeing." Just make it obvious that you know and that you think it a great thing! that you're excited for her. When she realizes you're not upset or whatever, she will most likely open up. When the time is closer (9 months is a long time) you guys can talk about what is happening. In my contract, it states that they give me 3 weeks notice before leaving, so contractially, she doesn't have to inform you that she will be leaving until it gets much closer to the time. Just approach her in a posivite way. If you know, there's no sense in playing games. Take the step and make it seem amazing and it will all come together after that

  12. #10
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    I really like what samroo said about just telling her in a happy/positive manner that "Annie" Told me you're having a baby - congratulations !" and go from there.

    I know I was really scared to tell my provider and didn't know how to bring it up when I had my son in daycare and got preggo with my second. I am the least confrontational person and didn't know a good way to bring it up and i couldn't decided WHEN etc. I think one day I wore something that was clearly a maternity shirt and made some comment about how it was going to be hard waddling up her front steps soon but it was hard for me to say.

    In retrospect I am not even sure why I was so unsure of how to tell her. She wasn't upset and I didn't expect her to be but I guess it was just hard to bridge our day to day conversation about my son into something more personal about my body and a baby or something. Don't take it personal.

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