Drop of a hat crier....Woosa, Woosa!

[Mamma_Mia]

Re: my earlier post re: outside toys & kids just standing there....my 2.5 earlier today was just standing on the deck steps...I turned to him and said "******* go play!!" in my most sincere bubbly-fun voice - he looked at me and started crying! It bugs the sh!t out of me when he starts crying for no reason! I've told him "unless you're hurt, don't cry...use your words to tell mamma_mia what's wrong!" I'm at a point I want to just send him into a time-out from now on each time the waterworks start. Its pretty ridiculous....even the 3yr old says with rolling eyes "mamma_mia, hes crying againnnnnnn". There is a BIG communication problem. He doesn't talk to me at all or the other kids. Once his dad arrives he's Mr.Chatty, yet he's MY bobble head.

An example of earlier today:
Me - *******do you have to go to the potty?
Him - stare
Me - do you have to pee-pee?
Him - pee-pee
Me - So you have to go?
Him - go
Me - (confused already) yes? you have to go?
Him - go

At this point I take him to the potty and when he sat down he started crying

Its also almost like he's got the fear of death in him to ever say the word no. Parents are very strick so I'm not too surprised but really?? I asked him if he wanted to try DD's yogurt, he nodded but had a weird face. I give him a spoon full and he keeps nodding while gagging! Why not just say I don't like that...IT IS OK to do so! ((sigh))

[Littledragon]

I am having the SAME problem. He cries ALL the time. My son is a tough guy and never cries unless he has really hurt himself. The little boy cries AT EVERYTHING. Even changing his diaper, and it's an annoying cry. I'm at the same point - giving him time out. And I'm at the point now too when I sort of ignore his cries, bc I don't know if he's genuinely crying or if it's bc he wants attention. What I've noticed is that his parents JUMP when he cries. "WHAT'S WRONG?!" Drives me nuts! I actually just posted something about not liking a kid....it's hard to BOND with a kid who is such a...baby lol I have no advice for you lol cause I'm probably not handling it as I should. I just keep trying to remind myself that it's not his fault - it's his parents, and that's his personality. But TRUST ME I know how annoying it is.
I was just thinking: what are his parents like? Are they quiet and calm? Are you bubbly and "aggresive" maybe you just freak him out lol how long have you had him for? That's the only thing I can think of that he would be like deer in headlights with you

Let me know what you decide to do, because I'm in the same boat sister.

[Momof4]

I have a 4 year old BOY who cries at the drop of a hat. We were going out to play this morning and all 5 of us went out the door and down the laneway and all of a sudden, he was having a meltdown. We had to stop so I could tell him to breathe and calm himself so I could understand what he was saying. The 4 year old girl who is a head shorter than him apparently pushed him. GOOD GRIEF! It's all the time, his shoe won't go on or any other minor thing sets him off. I keep telling his Mom he goes to JK in a few months and he really needs to toughen up.

Then I have an almost 18 month old boy who could win an Oscar as the best fake crier in history. Big tears, screaming fits and all I have to do is say, 'stop it, that's enough' and he turns it off like a switch. Unbelievable.

For the oldest boy I have been saying for 3 years, there's no crying at daycare, that's one of my rules. I guess I'll be saying it to the younger boy for several years too. It's just one of the great challenges that we face daily, and there are so many!

[Sandbox Sally]

Whiny kids drive me NUTS! I never had one of my own thank goodness. My children are all sensitive in the way that they're empathetic and really listen when you're telling them off (lol), but they've never been huge criers. If any of them are crying, it's because they're REALLY hurt or upset. When I hear one of their cries, I normally run for them.

I had a dcg up until this past February who cried all the time, unless she was just left to sit on the couch by herself. She was 2.5 yo. It was soooo frustrating. I'd ask her if she wanted to play, or one of the other kids would go near her and she would cry. I would tell her to go play, just as you did Mamma Mia, and she'd cry. She'd cry at the park, she'd cry at play group. She'd cry when it was time to get up to the table for snack, she'd cry at nap...well you get the idea.

I have never been so happy than when her parents gave their two weeks' notice.

[Mamma_Mia]

When I hear one of their cries, I normally run for them.

That's my DD too! She falls often (very clumsy) and bangs her head...family members gasp and look to me...they must think I'm nuts, I don't flinch then I say "if shes not crying she's fine" and she is! LOL

[Mamma_Mia]

I was just thinking: what are his parents like? Are they quiet and calm? Are you bubbly and "aggresive" maybe you just freak him out lol how long have you had him for? That's the only thing I can think of that he would be like deer in headlights with you. Let me know what you decide to do, because I'm in the same boat sister.

His parents are soft spoken people but dad is STRICT...like if dad catches him crying it's a quick HEY.........STOP - but I think mom is a suck! She calls everyday to see how he's doing (have him for 3.5 months now) I feel like saying he was sitting in the corner of the room, not talking to anyone and crying if we even looked at him. He's now sleeping which is the only time I'm stress-free each day and he did eat 5 bites of lunch beofre his 64th meltdown BUT he was really good with potty!...LIKE NORMAL

I am quite loud, even on a good day. I have a microphone in my throat, so I've been told.

Seriously I'll give it two weeks of the ignoring before I do the time outs and/or just leave him. After that deck meltdown he went towards the door to come in right away. I spoke to him "why are you going to the door? I didn't say you had to go inside....all I said was stop crying. You can keep playing...." he then started crying again. At this point I asked do you want to sit on the stairs or play outside, he said stairs so that's where he sat alone for 20min watching us with a smile??? I.DONT.GET.IT

[Littledragon]

he was sitting in the corner of the room, not talking to anyone and crying if we even looked at him. He's now sleeping which is the only time I'm stress-free each day and he did eat 5 bites of lunch beofre his 64th meltdown BUT he was really good with potty!...LIKE NORMAL[/I]

I am quite loud, even on a good day. I have a microphone in my throat, so I've been told.

LOL. First of all, sitting there watching you play with a smile is a little creepy lol

And what would mom say if you DID say that to her? Is it not true? I'm always weary of making myself look like a bad childcare provider when I admit to a mom or dad that I can't figure the kid out. But maybe there's something wrong, maybe he's autistic. Asberger's is a lot like what you are describing.

I thought of this: what if you put him down 15-20 minutes later than the rest of the kids for a little while. Spent some one on one time with him? Like I said earlier, I posted something about not liking a little boy I watch, but I realized today that he is SO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT with his mom then he is here during the day and I think it's because I haven't completely bonded with him yet. What if you have some SUPER quiet and calm one on one time with him for like a week to see if all he really needs is to bond with you. Sounds like he's feeling really unsure of his environment. He's probably feeling really insecure and scared. Try to take a softer, gentler approach with him. See if it does any good. Otherwise, I would say to mom what you just wrote.

Let me know how it goes!

Good luck!

[mom-in-alberta]

Ok, you said he CAN talk, he just chooses not to at your place? I should hope that things will eventually change then, given time. I would definitely be worried if he NEVER talked, at 2 1/2.
Honestly, the crier that I had last year would get a hand-held walk to the room next to us, and I would sit her down in a chair and calmly say "When you are all done crying, you can come and play/eat/watch the video, etc.".
That was it. Very little attention given, she was in a safe space, but it removed her from the situation and showed her that there was no need and it was not going to accomplish anything. Plus, if she was a room away from us, it was at least marginally less irritating to listen to! LoL
I hope it gets better!!!

[michellesmunchkins]

I have one of these too, she will cry if someone walks past her, she will cry if someone gets their lunch/snack a second before her, she will cry if the older kids jump and run, she cries when she has to go for a nap (even though she's falling asleep on the floor while playing), she cries when someone gets dropped off. Took me MONTHS to get it to stop. At first I did all the 'oh its ok, your fine, and blah blah' but that seemed to make it worse. So then I went to using my 'not so nice daycare voice' and told her firmly to STOP! We don't cry for no reason at daycare and then removed her to the playpen away from the group. Then it went to, just removing her the second she cried over nothing to the playpen without saying a word. Now, 6 months later I just have to look at her with 'that look' when she starts and she instantly stops.

At home, she cries, she gets whatever she wants...really hard to get them to understand that doesn't work here but be consistent and persistent and it will hopefully stop for you too. Now she's an adorable little girl who everyone loves...but it took a while for sure!