Worth mentioning to parents or not?

[Bookworm]

A&B- I haven't said anything to her because I do not want to make a big deal out of nothing, I just find it odd that she would be saying something like that in the first place. I too have had my child in home daycares, and have brought up any concerns I have. This mother does too, but I sometimes get the sense that she does not trust me fully, which is why I was thinking about saying something, just to clear the air in case there was an issue.

[playfelt]

About the feel of the skin - I'll bet mom has been coming in with bare arms the last few days - since the pinching started in stead of having a jacket on.

Can you work on the pinching at daycare with the idea that pinching hurts and is not a nice thing to do. What you don't want is her to do is experiment on the other kids. Now that they can be in bare arms and legs more take note of if she is doing it.

[Mamma_Mia]

I just thought of something - and I could be WAY off, but as silly at it sounds could this be HER way of trying to start a converation about something she's not happy with and is using the child? She may figure if she says it enough times you'll comment on it?

Again, I could be 100% wrong....just a thought. Some ppl are weird like that, KWIM?

[Bookworm]

Plafelt- that is exactly it and I have been watching her for this. I do let them know it hurts and we don't do it. If I'm holding my son and he pinches me, he immediately is told no, it hurts and I put him down. I would do the same with her, mom wouldn't.

[playfelt]

Then that is what you need to address. Sometimes this is where we speak to the child instead of the mom. When child pinches and mom makes her comment say to the child the effect of XXXX we have talked about that before today when you were pinching YYYY. Pinching hurts we don't do it. That lets the mom know that it isn't just with her that she is doing it. Then turn to the mom and say if I pick up a child and they pinch, hit, poke or do something else with their hands that is inappropriate they are immediately told no and put down. They do not get away with it here.

Depending on the parent you can then turn it around saying I haven't said anything before since this is your child but it would be a good idea while you are at daycare that the rules be consistent and it may be if you are not disciplining the pinching that your daughter pinches you at pick up to test what the rules are. While i can't control what you do at home the rule at daycare is if we pinch, hit, etc. we do not get carried or cuddled. If she pinches at daycare she needs to be put down and told no in that firm no nonsense tone of voice.

At least it lets the parent know that this is ongoing type behaviour and not just a stressed child at pickup.

[mom-in-alberta]

Did I miss somewhere how old this girl is? Is she capable of vocalizing? Because if so, I would definitely be asking her (in front of mom) to use her words to tell mommy things.
Even if she's little, I would also say (in front of mom) "Oh, ouch. Remember that we don't pinch. Pinching hurts!"
I can almost guarantee that if mom does think somehthing is up, this is her way of "asking" you. If it happens again, and mom has the same reaction, I would call her on it. "Gee, I haven't had any issues with her. She seems to be doing fine. Do you have any questions or concerns?" Doesn't have to be confrontational, but you may as well clear the air!