What do you do for goodbyes?

[Dayhome Mamma]

I have a little girl having her last day with us this week and it wasn't a bad ending but not a great one either. I was actually stressing over what to say/how to let her go cause she had the worst tantrums and was really a huge stress on us each week that I knew she was coming. For me and my two assistants. But we really liked her family...And she was so cute but it was like walking on eggshells with her. Super intense tantrums or reactions over anything....for example, I'd say it's snack time everyone, and all the kids would come together to their table while she went wild screaming and falling to the floor because she didn't feel like eating snacks And it totally didn't matter to me whether she did or not....that's just one example. long story short, her mom let me know that they weren't able to continue due to financial reasons...so it got me thinking what do you ladies do for kids that you say goodbye to or let go? On good terms and/or bad?

[Inspired by Reggio]

So for all of my clients who've left have done so on good terms and after several years with me - so I have done the same thing for all of them.

Child gets to help choose a 'good bye' activities of the day within reason - so we've done a backyard Mexican themed lunch and pinata party, a Fairy tea party day, a trip to the Museum, McDonalds Playland for a lunch for a few examples ... the child picks all the meals and snacks for their last day as well.

With the group we make a 'mural painting' on a piece of 11x20 canvas similar to this one



From me each child receives their authentic portfolio that documents their time here with me from their first day to their last - pictures and written stories - I use to print it out in a binder however now I save it to a flashdrive in JPEG format and than buy than a digital frame to view it on.

Here is a sample of what a documentation page looks like ... I have permission from my clients to share documentation for 'education purposes' for other providers so that should apply here

[Inspired by Reggio]

To answer the second question - not sure how I would handle things if we were leaving on stressful or not ideal terms - I would like to HOPE I would keep my emotions out of it and treat the child the same as any other child leaving has been treated - however I am human being as well and sometimes it is hard to go above and beyond if you've been left feeling disrespected or undervalued by a client!

So for example I might not buy a pissy client the digital frame and just give them the flash drive or instead of the 11x20 canvas do something similar with a cheaper scale like a paper version?

[playfelt]

For those that "graduate" from my program - ie start young and stay till school time it is a much bigger deal than if the child leaves before. For the long term clients I do the pictures. Used to burn them to a CD but now do the flashdrive idea. There are some really cute ones too you can get such as animals, cars, etc. too. That then makes the gift look a lot nicer. This also applies to a child leaving because they are moving out of the area.

For those that leave on lesser terms it depends on how long they have been with me and why they are leaving. We always do fancy cookies on the last day or near the last day where I make large sugar cookies and we ice and decorate and eat them. So for some that is all they get as in nothing as a keepsake since it would almost seem like a slap in the face to them with the idea of no matter what you do you will have to think of your time here and how you acted, treated us, etc. or a slap to me when they basically don't take it home or fold a picture up and stuff it in a pocket - you just know it is headed for the garbage. Also it is the parent taking it away from the child so you just know in some cases better to do nothing than let the parent teach the child how to be vindictive or hurt his feelings badly. Really sad when doing nothing is the best thing you can do for a child.

Issues like this when a family leaves for financial reasons or changes their mind and keeps child during mat leave are unexpected reasons and therefore already causing me financial hardship so I really don't do a lot in those cases. Again wrong to punish the child and I need to keep my emotions in check.

Keeping it low key helps in all areas since child likely doesn't understand what is happening. It just seems wrong to have a party to celebrate not having to deal with a problem child for much longer, lol, but child does deserve to have some sort of closure to their time with you. Letting them choose from two options for lunch or two activities is possible. As far as a gift goes not sure as you don't want it confused with a birthday for the child.

I have a certificate from a mailbox magazine that says about attending preschool and I print that on the child's favourite colour of cardstock and give that with a couple pictures to those leaving for school. Only those that stay till at least June before school get one (unless they moved that last year). I have been thinking of creating something similar to say attended daycare at and give that to anyone leaving and put on the dates they were here. It looks nice in a baby book down the road and if they don't keep it all it cost me was a piece of cardstock and an envelope and a couple pictures of happier times.

[Yarnlover]

Reggio,

That is beautiful. You are an inspiration to me, even your " pissy" client version is way beyond what I would expect. I have been emailing individual pictures every week but your idea is so much more graceful. I am thinking of something similar as a Christmas gift for the parents. Thank you for the wonderful idea.

[Sandbox Sally]

Thanks Reggio. I am going to get the kids to all do this as a keepsake when we move. Ugh...getting teary-eyed, thinking of leaving them ALL at the same time. Sigh.

[gcj]

yeah, kids who graduate....start and stay until school, we do a party with parents, and there is a mini-ceremony and small gift as well as crafts from each child. Someone who leaves before "graduation" no matter what the terms are, we do a smaller morning party, just the kids and the other kids also make them crafts as a gift.

[Momof4]

I made a graduaton diploma for the child and some memory pages with photos and a bit of scrapbooking, but not too much. Then I put it all in page protectors and make a little memory book of daycare days for the child to keep. When I had two children graduate to JK last year we had a full out party with grad hats/gowns, food, songs & skits, the whole works!

I have a little boy leaving next week due to a move and now I'm in tears again. I have to make his book this weekend, whaaaa! We will have cupcakes or a cake on his last day and I'll give him his memory book but that will be it I'm afraid.