What to do....??

[samantha3]

Have you ever had a parent in your care blame how their child is acting on another child in your care? I am not sure how to deal with this situation....

What would you do/say?

I really enjoy this family but this is a common complaint I am hearing from them and I believe that this child is just testing her parents limits at home because at daycare I do not see her being aggressive....

Any thoughts/opinions would be appreciated.

Thanks

[playfelt]

Is the other child show signs of aggression that the parent has seen or are they just guessing and blaming. Are both children about the same age.

[samantha3]

Hi Playfelt, thank you for your quick reply! Both children are within six months of each other. The other child does show signs of aggression, but nothing that I feel that is untypical for the age...

I feel like the parent is trying to blame his child's behavior on another child. Not sure what to do as I am tired of having this same conversation with this parent about what other children are doing wrong.... Should I ask them to find care elsewhere as they do not seem to be happy in my care any longer?

[jodaycare]

Yes I have had that happen and I just respond with "yes they do learn things from each other, good and bad, that is part of group care"

[Mamma_Mia]

Yes I have had that happen and I just respond with "yes they do learn things from each other, good and bad, that is part of group care"

Just to add "yes they do learn things from each other, good and bad, that is part of group care ---> BUT it's how WE react and correct ______'s (insert childs name) behavior that matters in the end"

[Momof4]

Of course children copy each other and learn together, but playing the blame game doesn't help anything. I completely agree with all the previous posters, that you should let the parent know that they should correct inappropriate behaviour at home just as you do at daycare and keep teaching the child what is and is not acceptable.

Just wait until this child starts school with 25 other rambunctious children. Remind this parent that at least their child is in a small group now and this is the tip of the iceberg of things to come.

[Sandbox Sally]

Also, I would reply, "hmm. I find it interesting that you think that, because nobody else is showing any negative behaviour".

[mom-in-alberta]

Yes, I agree with what has been said so far.
Regardless of who "starts" the behaviour, the consequences are the same. I would just reinforce that with parents.
Sounds like a case of My-Child-Can-Do-No-Wrong.... ugh.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Yup the joys of group care - positive and negative peer influences ... I always just reinforce that children are learning and we are working as a GROUP on XYZ skills. I also remind them of they are worried NOW about peer pressure they better work really hard on postitive choice making and thinking for oneself because when they get to school peer pressure and role models gets REALLY REALLY BAD

[samantha3]

lol, mom in alberta.... you got it! Their child could do no wrong, she even said it! 'My (insert name here) is not like this...'

So silly!! Thanks for your input!