I do have a tendency to ramble, so I must apologize in advance. lol

Mamma_mia, if he were a dck, I would have fired him a long time ago. lol.

He was an only child until he was almost 3.5. I was off work during my pregnancy and for mat leave. He's had me home since he was 2.5 (just the two of us), so I think he got used to just being with me and having all the attention on him. When he finally adjusted to his brother, I had a dck come in. When he adjusted to the routine with the dck, another one came in. Now that I think of it, I think my 4 yo ds has trouble with any little changes in his daily routine. He likes structure. When I bring in a new dck that cries at nap time and needs me to constantly place them back in bed, this disrupts his 'mommy' time. We used to play games and cuddle when my youngest ds napped. Since my 2nd dck has come into my home, I have learned to just let some of the housework go until the dc kids leave or if they play nicely during free time, I may be able to get the dishes done or at least get them ready to be done. The layout of my house is not ideal for a daycare. The kitchen is blocked off from every room but the dining room. The dining room is blocked off from the living room. The perks of my house are that the bathroom and the toy room/nap room are right off the living room. I use the living room and the toy room as the daycare. The toy room being strictly for daycare hours only. Once the dc kids are gone, I put all the toys in there and my living room goes back to normal. At lunch time, I bring the children to the dining room to eat. This is the only time I really allow them to go to the back of the house, unless we are going through to get to the backyard. My 4 yo ds keeps his toys in the dining room (the ones he picks from his bedroom that morning) During the day, he is allowed to play in his room when my youngest ds is not sleeping. For the most part, he'd rather play with the dc kids (and the dc toys).
My real problems with him only start around 1:30pm. The 1.5 yo dc kid gets dropped off here at 1:30pm every second week. He is usually one week from 8am - 3:15pm, and the other week 1:30pm - 4:30pm. On the week that he is dropped off in the afternoon, it disrupts the routine. My 2.5 yo dck usually falls asleep around 1:15pm, and gets disrupted at 1:30pm because the little guy comes in (very cranky) and needing a nap asap. He is usually crying his little head off at this time. Mom & dad allow him to sleep in on the late drop off week, don't nap him in the morning and drop him off halfway through naptime at my place. I have told them several times to drop him off before 12:30pm. I've even told them why. I've even gone as far as telling them that I wouldn't charge the extra hour. Not only is my dck cranky because she gets woken up 15 minutes into her nap, my 4 yo ds is usually very cranky too. He hasn't had his quiet time yet! My youngest ds wakes up at 2pm. On the 8am drop off week, my 4 yo son is much better behaved. He still gets cranky but is usually resting during the cranky time. On the early drop off week, he gets upset when the dc kids wake up. I think it's more out of frustration because the youngest dc kid, gets picked up almost as soon as he wakes up from his nap. My son wants to play with them before they go, but they dc kids are usually too groggy or tired to play.

gcj, I've tried sticker charts for my 4 yo. I set out clear goals (even make illustrations of each goal) and told him he'd get a sticker each time he accomplished one of his goals. After so many stickers at the end of the week, he got to pick a prize out of a little box of dollar store toys. He was very happy with that and was proud of all his tasks. The only task I ever had trouble with was 'washing his hair'. I am starting to think my son has sensory problems. He hates having wet hair or having water around his face or ears. Every time we wash his hair, it takes a long time to recover from his fear of water. He has panic attacks. He screams bloody murder and his heart races. It takes a long time just to get him to take a bath again. He will not go swimming with other kids or go through sprinklers. He will happily play out in the rain though (probably because he controls how wet he gets) He'll play with a sprinkler if no other children are around to unexpectedly splash him. He has trouble with loud noises. My youngest ds cries loud! When he cries, it drives my 4 yo nuts. (another reason he sleeps with my husband and I). We have trouble going to festivals and big events where there are a lot of different noises and people. It is getting better as time goes on, but he still won't play on those bouncy things because the generators make too much noise. Family gatherings are hard too. Do you think a possible sensory problem could be the reason he sometimes acts out? Maybe I'm just grasping at straws...