At her age she needs to be preparing for school and unless mom plans to hire a nanny and have that nanny homeschool the child maybe the best thing would be to have the child move to a centre where there are lots of children but also more adults around. As well they will have access to phychiatrists and others in the mental health field that can work on the child's self esteem. Otherwise there is little chance of this child surviving in a classroom with just one teacher.
In your letter I like what you said but might even leave out the part about time with your own child because it is counter productive since you are talking aboaut this child taking away time from the others in care then it sounds like you want to give just your own child special attention which of course will upset any child. Mom is likely to pick up on that so I would just leave it out.
I think it is good that you are sending the update letter and it will also be invaluable to future therapists who work with the child. Having a nanny is like giving into the child and if they were 2 then there was time for the nanny to get them used to playgroup or whatever but at 4 time is up and there needs to be more drastic steps taken if this child is to survive elementary school.
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