Worst day so far...

[apples and bananas]

You really have to own that time at pick up. Parents always want to know how their day was. I always make sure I give little eye contact, they are not my priority, the other 4 children running around in my yard are. They often get the hint and move along. If they need to speak with me and I'm unable to, I offer to call them after dinner and speak with them then, or make time at drop off the next morning.

Biting in a horrible thing, but it happens. You have to remember that YOU'RE not the one biting, your can't be held responsible for a 2 year olds behaviour! If the form of discipline at home is spanking no wonder the kids are aggressive.

Don't feel bad or guilty. All you can do is do your best with what you have.

[Skysue]

If the form of discipline at home is spanking no wonder the kids are aggressive.


Sorry but that is B.S about spanking, parents who spank their kids for the most part do it out of love. The lack of discipline these days is due to kids being extremely aggressive.

“Ok little Johnny I know you set the couch on fire so please go sit on a time out”, 2 minutes is all that’s needed.”

I’m extremely afraid for the future of this world due to people thinking that spanking is abusive and leads to abuse. There is a big difference between beating and spanking!

Spare the rod spoil the child!

I’m not trying to disrespect but my daughter who gets spanked is one of the best-behaved and most un-aggressive children you will ever meet!

In my 2 years since doing daycare the most aggressive kids I have met so far have zero discipline at home!

Most toddlers who bite does it out of their lack of being able to filter their emotions, most also have delayed speech!

I know I'm goign to get bashed for this!

Anyway in running a day home you can't spank as there not your own children and that is something I would never do to anyone elses children. With that said you need to find out a good time out method that will be effective for the child.
High chair in the corner sounds like an effective method to me!

[playfelt]

No bashing from me.

That is how my children were raised and I can tell easily which kids coming to care know right from wrong in no uncertain terms and which kids come to care unsure. It is the unsure ones that don't know how to set personal limits for themselves. When every offence is treated the same with a few minutes of sitting it does not teach limits.

[dodge__driver11]

I am probly going to get told too, but meh.

I swat my son every now and again(with my hand on his bum)....And he knows why. He is polite, friendly, and is not agressive towards other kids (but he has his bad days) I am sorry, but I too do not agree with that statement. Kids need healthy limits, and as playfelt said time outs and naughy spots do not always teach them.

[Mamma_Mia]

I come from a very european family and you know what I was spanked and my DD gets spanked when its needed. I'm not ashamed or afraid to say so....and you what what, like what you said SKYSUE - DH, DD and I went to a buffet for dinner on Staruday and there were many families with yonge kids and lots of seniors....some of the kids were just brats! and the parents couldn't care less...some were doing the 1...2...3........4.. ...5.. <<eye roll>>. As we were paying I had 4...FOUR different couples come to us and say that we should be proud of ourselves. Our DD listened and knew when you used a tone to stop it NOW. One was a very elderly couple and they said 'thank you for having contol of your daughter so that we can enjoy our meal as well'.

I've said it before and I'll say it again....I'm a "mean" mom and I'm proud!

That kid needs to lern who's boss & fast. I'd NEVER hit a dck but they wouldn't dare cross my line, but are terrors when the parents show up, why? they ALLOW it!

[end vent/rant]

[Mamma_Mia]

I just want to add....I do believe in spanking but I firmly believe there is a line that goes into abuse. I openly say that I was abused as a child/teen, when objects are introduced to cause pain, or closed fists...its PAST that line. So I would never want that for my own daughter but when NO 100000x and removal of everything & time-outs just don't work. A hand slap or bum spanking does.

[Crayola kiddies]

I agree ... As a child I'm sure I had my bum paddled a few times although I only ever remember being slapped once by my mother .... I sasses her and she slapped my face and I never sassed her again. I have 5 kids and all of them need to be discliplined differently. What works for one child doesn't always work for another. You have to know your own child's currency. But of course with dcks all we have is time outs, firm voices and consistency.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Spanking is such a personal belief system and journey of ethical decision making and your choice to do it or not is going to very based on your own upbringing and reflection on 'why' you think it works or not ... I was spanked as a child and participated in spanking other family members in my youth cause it was the 'norm'.

That said my own philosophies have changed on it over the years in this field based on discussions with other advocates in my field around the practice and people posing questions like 'What is the magic age when spanking is no longer acceptable form of behavior management?' 'What makes that age 'special'? Why is it ok to spank a certain age group but others it is considered 'assault'? 'Why is it socially acceptable to spank our own children but i our child misbaved in a park and another parent 'smacked them' we would loose it?' Why is spanking by teachers and educators taboo? 'If they have more children to 'control' spanking should be considered more of an option and necessity for them than for a parent with only one or two children to 'manage'?' ..... the answers to those questions for me posed 'conflict' because the only thing that it came back to was the in one circumstance the child 'belonged' to someone and in the other they did not 'so are children our property and do they have less rights and privileges than children who are NOT our property?'

It is important to have these kinds of discussions and reflections not to JUDGE but to grow as a society ... after all at points in our past there were MANY normal practices that people thought were just fine and dandy and WORKED so to speak .... for example at one time daughters were 'sold' to their new spouse as property via a dowery and they were treated like property that the spouse was free to beat, to rape and well treat as they saw 'fit' in order to break them in and teach them how to be a 'good wife' so while it was illegal to beat or rape a women who was NOT your wife your own wife was your's to do with as you chose .... but over the centuries we advocated and reflected and changed our 'views' on this being necessary because a women should have the same rights regardless of being married to a man or not .... so at this stage in our evolution it is natural for us to start 'questioning' the same practices with our children ... after all if you read history books man at the time that women gained 'rights and protections' there were men who argued there was nothing wrong with giving your women a smack if she forgot to iron your shirts the way you liked or if they were about to do something that would break a piece equipment on the farm or they questioned something they'd done ... cause it worked they would not make that mistake more than once or twice....and there are still men who think this way

IMO the key to helping children or anyone for that matter develop socially acceptable behavior is CONSISTENCY in expectations and natural consequences for when they make a mistake .... and just like a housewife in the 1800's a smack might work as a consequences but there are also 100 other just as effective ways to help someone learn better choices

[Inspired by Reggio]

....You have to know your own child's currency.....

This is so true ... spanking NEVER worked on my brother but it was the only currency my dad knew and as a result in an effort to make it work it escalated to spanking harder, introducing tools to help it 'sink in' including discipline us ALL whenever he misbehaved in hopes that fear of his siblings being spanked would work and as others mentioned about it crossed that barrier to what society considers 'acceptable levels of corporal punishment' to being 'physical abuse'.

[Crayola kiddies]

Yes Reggio it's ridiculous to use a discipline method that doesn't work .... But when we were kids there wasn't the tools that are available to us now .... Something even as simple as this forum that allows us the opportunity to learn different methods and get different ideas and perspectives in order to help us parent our children. One of my children needs timeout but only in his bed, which I never before agreed with, or the behaviour escalates, I am also one of those idiotic mothers that counts but I only ever have to say one and my kids feet hit the ground running. Another one of my kids needs to be promised (threatened) to have privileges removed or suspended. And yet another has to have the privilege of hanging out with friends taken away or the wifi turned off (gasp) .... I also have rewards for good behaviour and sonetimes that works even better.