Breastfeeding

[mom-in-alberta]

Hmmm. I TRY not to judge... I got pregnant at 19, and had just turned 20 when I had my first child. I was young(ish), inexperienced, scared and uninformed. He had difficulties nursing and it was excruciating for 6 straight weeks. I dreaded feeding him and cringed when he started to fuss and fidget. I was also incredibly bashful about nursing him in front of anyone. We went away to visit family and my husband found me in the spare bedroom with tears streaming down my face, the baby SCREAMING and unable to feed properly. It was a disaster. He looked at me and said "Why are you doing this?" Me: *sob* "Because it's better!" Him: "For who???" Me: *sob* "Both of us!" He took the baby (I clearly needed a break, LoL) and said he supported whatever I decided.
I switched my son to formula and bottles that night and we were all better for it. He was a different baby over night. I don't know if it was my personal stress, my breastmilk, perhaps I wasn't feeding him enough? But he went from cranky and crying to smiley and cheerful. I was able to relax and finally felt like I wasn't failing at this job.
Having said that, I nursed my second son for 3 months (he also had a terrible time. LaLeche and public health never could figure out why it hurt so much more than it should have), my first daughter for 11 months (muuuch better that time) and my second daughter for 5 months. Not excessively long, I know, but still.
I just wanted to share my story, because we don't always know what's going on with people. I didn't feel like I had a lot of places to turn for help without being judged, no matter what my choice. I think that's gotten better in the last 10 years.
It does irritate me when someone doesn't even give it a shot, or gives up because it's "inconvenient". I would much rather have a warm and ready boob than fuss with formula. Now that my littlest one is drinking formula, I always feel like I am either making, warming, running out of or picking up the bloody stuff!!

[Sandbox Sally]

Ahh but MIA, you did not choose to NOT breastfeed. I acknowledge that sometimes, despite what we know and what we want, breastfeeding does not work out for every mom. But c'mon, don't you think that every little baby deserves at least a chance to mess it up?

[Crayola kiddies]

I have already posted on this thread and I did bf all my kids for various amounts of time and my experience was similar to MIA's I had my first one 21 yrs ago and I was 23 .... And it hurt like hell ... I have no idea why but everyone was the same ... One side hurt less then the other but neither one was overly comfortable and I too used to panic as soon as the baby started to wake and as they were latching on it gave new meaning to curling your toes ..... I wished I could have done it longer but sadly it is what it is. I do agree everybody should at least do the colostrum. I never minded the formula ... I always used the powder and made I've bottle at a time with previously boiled water and I never heated just gave room temp

[mom-in-alberta]

Yup, fair enough, Alpha... I loathed it, and still gave it a good ole college try with each and every one. And as I have said, some worked out well, some not so much.
Thanks for not throwing rocks at me. LoL. (I know you wouldn't even if you didn't agree with me, though)

[Dreamalittledream]

I wish! I partially breastfed for my 2 sons up until they were a year...I just could never produce enough milk not to supplement. I've often wondered if it's breast feeding related how my youngest (3 years old & my 7 year old did when he was younger), still puts his hand down my shirt when he's cuddling...or do all boys do that?

[kidlove]

I breastfed as long as I could with my kids, only about 4 months each....my milk flow stopped. Was very bummed though, wanted to breastfeed to a year....so much better for the baby than formula.

[kidlove]

I've had daycare Mom's say "ewwee! no way my baby is sucking on my boob, just sounds yucky!" I wish I had their t*ts....I would have loved to breastfeed longer! what a bond with your baby.

[Nurse2]

I breastfed both my children until they were 1 year old. I decided this was best because of the health benefits, and there is so much bonding that happens. If I would have breast fed longer, but I had to go back to school

[Artsand crafts]

My son is 20 months and still bf. He does it in the morning or afternoon when daycare kids are not at home and I am not that busy. He understands he needs to wait for bf. He likes cow's milk and soy milk and now can drink for a cup. I plan to stop until he does not want it anymore

[cfred]

I may be crucified for this post, but.....

I breastfed all three of my kids for varying lengths of time, the longest being 6 mos. I gave it up early, because, frankly, it WAS becoming a pain in the ass. I wanted to go out without milk stains on my clothes or wet spots on my shirt that would come with hearing a baby cry or, for whatever reason, the sound of cicadas. I wanted to enjoy my previous diet along with a couple glasses of wine. I wanted to not always be 'on duty' or have to spend hours expressing milk in order to have a night off. I felt that I could continue being an exemplary parent without having a child attached to my breast.

I do see the value of breastfeeding, HOWEVER, it's comments like some I've seen in this thread that make women feel cornered, or that they aren't good parents or selfish because they choose not to breastfeed. That just isn't fair. My mother has been an astounding parent, but chose not to breastfeed any of us. I think we all got the colostrum at the beginning, but that's it. We're all healthy, happy and well adjusted. Choosing to breast feed is a very personal choice which, unfortunately, has been made everyone else's business. My sister had a baby boy 20 mos ago. She wanted to breastfeed but was having problems with it. I watched her for 6 mos trying to keep up with attempting to breastfeed while maintaining a pumping schedule. Her life was absolutely run by trying to provide food for her baby. She teared up one night after months of exhaustion and said that she couldn't give it up because everyone (EVERYONE) was forcing the idea that breastfeeding is the absolute best thing for the baby and to do otherwise was 'selfish'. She said she was afraid people would judge her and think her a bad mother because she wanted to stop. I told her to just never mind what others had said and that public opinion was just that - opinion. If someone doesn't want to breast feed, honestly, it's no one else's business. And opinions being thrown around make people who are genuinely having a problem feel just terrible or inferior. I know everyone's hearts are in the right place and we've all got children's interests on our agendas, but sometimes, though it's unintentional, it's just hurtful.

I'm sure I've offended some people, and I'm so sorry for that. But after watching what my sister went through, because of public opinion, just broke my heart. I felt it wrong to not say something on behalf of parents who choose a different path.