Attacks/Rumours against my dayhome being spread by others in my area. What do I do??

[mlac57]

Hi. This is my first post. I am hoping you can help me or give me some good advice. I just recently found out from a now ex-client that there are some nasty, malicious & extremely rumours going around about my day home. My now ex-client advised me that she had heard them from another provider but would not advise whom she had heard it from because in her opinion it didn't matter (hello it sure as heck matters to me). The good news is that I have talked to other providers in my area that I trust but they have fortunately not heard anything or any such rumours (they are keeping their ears open though). Still, I am extremely upset that someone has the nerve to try to destroy my reputation and my business with these rediculously false malicious nasty rumours. Has anyone experienced this issue before and if so how did it get resovled.

[Momof4]

That is horrible! I'm sorry that there is a nasty, petty woman trying to hurt you and your business. Unfortunately, the reason I quit my last job was because the place was filled with women like that and I couldn't stand them any more.

I learned a life lesson working there for so long though and made myself a promise that I will never again let people like that bother me because it isn't my problem that they are terrible people, it's their problem. I will never let anybody in my life again who hurts me emotionally. I certainly weed out any parents at interview time that give me that kind of vibe.

Try not to worry about it because it is her problem, not yours and you can hold your head high knowing that you are the better person. Be proud and confident and smile! If she puts anything bad in writing, even an email you can tell her you will sue her for slander but otherwise, don't let her bring you down.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Ya - that sucks that people feel the need to do such things to one another ... I agree with Momof4 as hard as it might be take the high road and ignore the rumors unless you have something concrete where she has WRITTEN something that is a defamation to your business either online or in an email which you could use as proof to send a 'cease and desist or I will be forced to sue' letter for best to try to take the point of view that perhaps the ex-client 'misheard' or it was not you they were talking about - specially since other providers in your area have not heard anything.

Take comfort in the reality is that when one provider takes to 'bashing' another providers business instead of focusing on their own business and why it is the place to be it only makes THEM look bad in the long run - as a client are you going to trust someone whose business practice is to talk smack about another business or when they do that are you going to look at them and question if having a relationship with them is wise cause they might also talk smack about you behind your back - so karma will play out in the end that her negative energy and focus will come back to bite her in the ass!

Concentrate on your own business and showing anyone who comes through your door all the positive things about your program - and they will quickly see that anything they might of heard 'negative' was likely the result of some petty jealous person who has no self confidence in their own program so instead opts for the negative smear campaign of others!

[playfelt]

I am also in Ottawa, Orleans actually. I have heard of at least two caregivers in different parts of the city that have had similar things happen them over the years. For one it was a disgruntled client that plastered info across her mommy chat boards but because she didnt' mention anyone by name specificallly nothing could be done but at the same time many of the people knew where she had been going for daycare because she had already told them. For another one it was a provider on the same street saying nasty things about the "daycare down the street" and trying to convince parents that it wasn't worth their time to even bother interviewing her.

In areas where there is a lot of competition people will stoop to new lows to get their spaces filled and not care about who they step on along the way. Let's just hope kids have left her care before they learn how to mistreat others from her. There really isn't a lot you can do till you have something in writing - an email sent, something posted on a chat forum - some form of tangible proof and not just heresay.

The fact you have talked to other caregivers is good because they stand to be treated in the same way so they will be listening.

In the grand scheme of things I don't think parents will pay too much attention to the rumours. Make sure when you place ads that you include pictures of setup and activities so parents can see what you do. Just go about as you are now and try to ignore the rumours as best you can.

[Inspired by Reggio]

....My now ex-client advised me that she had heard them from another provider but would not advise whom she had heard it from because in her opinion it didn't matter ....

Personally I would also be wary of this 'ex client' because if she is going to share something negative like that under the guise of HELPING you than she needs to be willing to STAND BEHIND what she has said ... IMO you do not get to drop a bomb like that and than play the 'oh I do not want to tell you WHO said it cause that is not important I just wanted you to know 'someone' is talking smack about you' or you do not get to do the 'oh do not bring my name into it' .... that is NOT helpful and actually HURTFUL behavior creating drama and stress like that in someone's life for no reason - IMO better to live in blissful ignorance if there is nothing you can do to 'change' things than stew about who it is and why an so forth ... if she is not willing to give you the information needed to DO something about it than IMO if she truly CARED about you she would have kept the information to herself and told the provider who was talking SMACK about you that perhaps if she feels that way she could organize a 'meet and greet' to set the record straight because that is not HER experience with you! If this were my 'friend' or ex-client to be honest I would CALL them on their behavior so that they know for next time - keep your gossip to yourself cause it is neither helpful nor appreciated!

I have no patience for people who gossip monger and spread rumors just for the sake of creating drama and stress for others and they will not 'stand behind' what they have said - people like that I tend to cut out of my life entirely or if I cannot I take anything they say with a grain of salt because IMO if you are not willing to stand up behind what you have said to someone, specially when it is negative, than they are coward and likely are 'embellishing' things to make themselves look better or what not .... life is too short to have negative people like that in your life!

BTW - I have been in a similar situation - someone told me that someone had told them something untrue about my professional conduct - and I called the provider on it and told her we needed to have a meeting between that person she said told her these things, herself and myself to straighten it out because it was not true and if the person HAD said it it was liable, it was code of conduct unbecoming an Early Childhood Educator according to our Code of Ethics and it was a breach of the employer/employee confidentiality as well - ironically she did not WANT to do that and got all agitated and basically threatened that I had more to loose if I told the person she had said that than she did because than I would be breaking a 'confidence' of hers - however she was not entitled to 'confidence' from me under the circumstances

Anyway this is my point about karma ... I heard through the grapevine that that provider is no longer in business .... my guess because the negative energy and behavior she exhibited was not conducive to creating a thriving home childcare business and her behavior towards others came back to bite her in the ass cause clients start to figure out if you gossip about 'others' than you gossip about THEM too .... focus on being professional and passionate about your own business and it will thrive and let the others chips fall where they may

[mlac57]

Thank you everyone for your support & suggestions. I'm still reeling from the metaphorical slap in the face that these rumours have caused. I really do hope that it does not affect my business too much more than it already has but I suppose only time will tell. I am hoping that now that I know about it and that I have talked to other providers about the rumours that the person who started/perpetuated these rumours will be like 'oh crap' & will cease & desist but once again only time will tell. I know I have lost one client because of them (the one who told me about them) but I do believe that since she chose to believe the rumours rather than asking me about them that I truly do not want that type of client to begin with. Fortunately the rest of my clients seem to be staying regardless of these rumours (I told them that I was being targetted so that they heard it from me first instead of hearing it secondhand and questioning my care of their children).

[Mamma_Mia]

I gotta say, sounds a little fishy.....To me it sounds like it was your ex-client being a coward and useing that as an excuse to leave care (some people are weird like that). For her to not tell you WHO said it but just HAD to tell you what was said makes me think it's something to do with her....

********************

If in fact it is someone else spreading these things, think back to where this ex-client may visited with her child? Playgroups? Parks? recently - whoever it was sees you often enough to recognise that her kid is with you all day, know what I mean? and it also shows you the level of respect & trust she had in you. You don't need people like that.

Do you know who is going to watch her child now? Be careful that it isn't one of the providers you asked re: the rummors.....or one of their 'friends', they wouldn't admit it to you if they DID hear anything..

Good Luck and I'm sorry you're going through this

KARMA....believe in KARMA!!

[mlac57]

Update: well the rumours do not seem to be harming my daycare much. I've had a couple inquiries and interviews. I was supposed to have one child start next week but grandmother is going to care for child instead. Hopefully these rumours will continue to die down and clients will continue to come my way.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Awesome news!