Dilemma - what would you do?

[Spixie33]

Interesting that you say that. Mom #1 gave you an out. At the time you didn't take it. Was it because you thought any money for a short time was better than non since you didn't have other options as in you said ok for the wrong reason. .

Great question. My reasons for agreeing are
1- One daycare family is BFF with the new daycare mom and recommended her . It gets complicated to then ditch the arrangement
2-I had already announced the coming July daycare child via newsletter and verbally to some parents so felt embarrassed if I renege on that.
3- I was thinking that a few thousand dollars of income is still better than nothing because I didn't like the idea of interviewing and advertising again and had already started to look forward to the extra income next month

Of course now all these options are coming and the great thing about them are that they are not based on my ads but because people are recommending me or have met me before and seem to like what I do with my daycare.

I feel really confused between my original commitment because I don't take it lightly vs the opportunity financially and longer term for the daycare. The mother who approached me today actually had kids that would fit in better age wise because I have a few three year olds and one of hers is 3.

[Spixie33]

Good luck in your choice - sometimes it does not hurt to ask more questions and just explain your point of view and find a common middle ground - might be an arrangement that works out for everyone!!!

I may just probe a few more questions.....great idea

I just don't want to ruin a guaranteed thing, risk the relationship with the dcp who recommended this parent and then in the end be left standing with nothing. KWIM? That is the fear

[Inspired by Reggio]

I empathize ... personally if the pregnant parent was not using the offer of an out as a hope that you would TAKE IT cause she wants out of her commitment too and feels trapped because of the friendship of your other client than I would keep my commitment if she needs and wants the care for 5 months - keep the referrals contact info and put them on a 'wait list' for the next space cause you never know what might happen between now and few weeks someone else might get laid off and so forth - things often have a way of working out.

You have 5 months notice to advertize and find a replacement for the client you've committed to - so much can happen in 5 months time for sure!

Personally while I get the desire to ditch a client you know is leaving anyway (struggling with that temptation myself but holding strong to seeing it through til August) ... IMO we have to keep karma in mind when we are making our business decisions - it is not necessarily BEST to terminate a client who has not shown JUST CAUSE (aka breach of contract) just for a better financial option because it can have negative impacts that affect FUTURE options for us .... if you are getting a lot of word of mouth referrals it is likely because people find you fair and professional and TRUST you - you want to PROTECT that by behaving in a manner that is conducive to that ..... IMO terminating a now pregnant mama because she is only going to need 5 months of care in favor of what seems like a 'better financial deal' might turn out to bite you in the ass if word of mouth travels that this is your practice

I understand that it sucks for us when clients we had thought would be 'long term' turn out to be short term I really do .... however it is a risk we assume when being self employed basically the biggest commitment we have from clients is the 'notice periods' we negotiate into our contracts - I also get that it feels we have been 'lied to' when someone signs on and does not disclose their family status - but the fact remains that pregnant women are under no obligation to 'inform' us of their pregnancy when they enter into a contract and 'discriminating' against a women and refusing her service based on her pregnancy is against the Human Rights Code ... doing so could find your business sued which is a huge financial risk for sure!

[Spixie33]

Very good points Reggio. The karma thing is what I am afraid of and I do recall when I was pregnant with my second one that my employer gave me such a hard time for being pregnant again and I don't want to add stress to her life/pregnancy.

It is just tough to think that I am giving up a total of 4 good people I have come across since that interview in March for only a 5 month stretch but it is the luck of the draw.

I prayed about it during lunch and sort of feel like I have come to the conclusion that I need to stick this out. It would be too awkward to explain to her BFF that I am 'dumping' her referral/and best friend and also cannot compose an email to the pregnant mom without sounding like a jerk. Believe me - I have a few drafts in my draft folder to prove it and I didn't like how it sounded.

Le Sigh.

I just love how good it is to bounce thoughts off the ladies here. When I ask my husband he is so confused with all the parents I am referring to and then he asks me to get to the point or say it simply for him. YOu know that women want to say the looooooong version...lol

[playfelt]

Because the two women are good friends I probably would try bouncing something off the parent in care now. Mention the dilemma in the sense of XXX told me about her pregnancy and I am thrilled for her. I know that means she will only need care until December. You knew her with her first pregnancy, did she stay at work the whole time or start mat leave early. Why I am asking is I have been approached by another caregiver that is closing down and needs care for one of her clients and also be a parent that had interviewed me a year ago that went with someone else but they are now closing so the parent immediatly thought of me and asked if I had spaces. I really don't know parent XXX very well since we just had that one meeting back in March. Do you think I am safe or use whatever wording you want here - to continue with her for the five months knowing I can count on that income and turn down these other people.

The current parent is probably going to either rat her friend out to save her situation or not really say much but you can bet the info will get back to the pregnant mom. Then hopefully if she plans to ditch you or had other options when she gave you the out that she will be honest - ie tell the friend to tell you. I am a chicken when it comes to things like this but just like in references friends do say different things when given a chance.