Apparently, I have MUG written on my forehead!!

[bright sparks]

Okay so my turn to vent. Its kind of bittersweet as I am to nice to my daycare parents and then they walk all over me.....

I had a dcb dropped off this morning and his father said he didnt know whether he would be picking up or the dcb's grandfather as the soccer match was on but one of them would. Okay, whatever. Whatever you do with your day is fine and you've forewarned me so no biggy. Dad then calls me 15 minutes before pick up to say he's been held up and will be 5 minutes late picking up. He finally showed up 20 minutes late, footie shirt on and pouting and whining cause his team lost.

Maybe you are thinking, get over yourself, but seriously you are going to collect your son late because you are busy having a few beers watching the bloody soccer game. Thanks a frickin bunch!!!

I'm just so frustrated with people clearing having such little regard for me that they don't give it a second thought to being late, as though I havent got a family of my own that I need to tend to. This is the same father who new we were starting toilet training today but was clearly not going to be inconvenienced to do it by dropping his son off in a diaper.

Oh and did I mention that their drop off was 9:15 and when mum got a new job with different days every week she said she would need occasional drop off at 8:15 but proceeded to drop him off at this time even on her days off without discussing it with me. I pulled her on it and she said she wanted to be consistant with drop off times which makes sense but didn't feel the need to discuss it with me, cause really, why would she???!!!

I know these are minor things but I really feel like this family are taking these little liberties with me and now they are increasing because I let things slide. Oh, when will I learn.....

[Inspired by Reggio]

Nope vent away - IMO these are NOT MINOR things Brights .... the root of these things is LACK OF RESPECT FOR YOU and that is a MAJOR issue!

Seriously ... soccer dad would have owed me $20 in late fees for being 'late' with no, by my definition, valid reason ... I only waive my late fee if you've been in a car accident, family emergency where someone is in the hospital, wife went into labor right before pick up, etc TRUE EMERGENCY and even then you have to CALL to notify me before your pick up time ... sorry but a clients lack of PLANNING does not constitute an emergency for me - you pay me OVERTIME for caring for your child and you get a STRIKE against you on the late fee clause - because under late fees in my contract it clearly states - repeated lateness outside your contracted hours WILL result in termination of your contract!

honestly we have LIVES outside of childcare ... what if you had a meeting tonight, an appointment, your own family emergency and you cannot 'deal' with that because you are stuck working late because some asshat things SOCCER is more important than his CHILD? Sorry that is a huge variance from my 'philosophy for childcare' and the priority children should play in our lives - I do not care what you do at HOME as long as it does not affect ME and MY PROGRAM!

Want to 'change' contracted hours on a permanent basis to be 'consistent' would have resulted in a new contract needing to be signed - what if you were 'sharing' that space with a school ager 'before school' and that sudden 8:15 drop off meant that you would be over ratio? Clients do not get to just CHANGE their hours of service because we have to maintain our ratios at ALL TIMES!

Sorry but none of those issues seem minor to me and would have got a client who tried that in my program a stern 'talking too' with my ole business hat on - this is my business and I have a contract for service for a REASON - follow it or find someone else to provide your service!

[samantha3]

Reggio nailed it! When I first started I had a hard time standing up for myself, but once I started to it felt really good! The one thing is I wish I had started doing it earlier as what you do in the beginning sets a 'norm' for what parents feel they can 'get away with'.

Nip it in the butt! Send an email out, change your policy if you dont already have one and make sure that there is mutual respect between yourself and families happening.

I wish you the best of luck! You can do it

[apples and bananas]

I think we get so frustrated with late pick ups for personal reasons because we chose to stay home with our kids. We have made the choice to put our kids first and be with them as much as we can. It's so frustrating when someone doesn't want that time with their kids.

At the end of the day, the late is what we should be frustrated with, not the reason behind it. Most of us have worked outside of the house at some point, our kids are important, we need to be there at the right time.

All the best dealing with this. I know it's hard to tell someone that they're wrong. Just still to the late, and not focus on the reason behind it. It's not our job to teach them how to parent, just to stick to our policies.

[Momof4]

Oh, I'm with you! I have a dcDad who always drops his son off wearing a suit for work but by the time he picks up his son he has obviously been home because he's wearing comfy shorts & tshirt. Why oh why can't he pick up his son first? Because he wants to use 8 1/2 hours I guess since my limit is 9 hours.

Usually I don't care what the parents are doing as long as they tell me how to contact them in case of an emergency. I want to know if they aren't going to be at work just like I always tell them where we will be because I believe the parents should know the location of their children every day. But on Mondays & Fridays I only have 2 girls who are both picked up at 3:30 and then this boy with the Dad who could obviously pick him up earlier but leaves him here an hour by himself until 4:30. It just grinds my gears and I know what you're talking about.

[Inspired by Reggio]

... At the end of the day, the late is what we should be frustrated with, not the reason behind it....

I admit that the reason given here would increase my 'lack of tolerance' for being late and therefore my approach to the client - for me being late due to an emergency beyond your control would get you some empathy/slack for being late ... being late for the above reason would get you a stiff late fee and the black mark because it was EXTRA DISRESPECTFUL not only to me but to their child to leave them wondering/stressed over something as stupid as a soccer game! a

To be honest - I am self employed and do not want to work with people who do not share my VALUES because well nice thing about being self employed I do not have to anymore ... so in this case the WHY they were late is hugely relevant to me cause it is about VALUE ... they do not value ME or MY TIME to think I should just accepting having to work 20 minutes past my already long work day and they do not value their CHILD'S FEELINGS to think it is ok to leave them there an extended day and upset his 'routine' specially when they are claiming to send him EARLY when not needed because 'consistent routine' is important to them - so which is the truth?

I agree that parents have all sorts of varied values and believes and thats OK it is what makes the world a unique place .... for the most part I can turn a blind eye to that as long as it does not affect ME but when those choices start having a negative impact on me or my program well than we stop being a 'match' for service ... I had to work for decades with clients in centre care whose treatment of their children made my skin crawl and ebbed away at my passion for what I do cause my heart was breaking and my soul was dying and I was starting to see the world as an evil place ... I will not do that anymore specially in my own HOME .... life is just too short to work for or with people who suck the life out of you and make you miserable!

[Mamma_Mia]

Oh, I have a dcDad who always drops his son off wearing a suit for work but by the time he picks up his son he has obviously been home because he's wearing comfy shorts & tshirt. Why oh why can't he pick up his son first? .

I have the same, dcg's dad works in construction and we agreed one day a week was a late pickup due to mom's work schedule and dads timing to get here.....my husband is also in construction and they for the most part get off work at an eariler time due to the earlier start. So when dcg is here until 6pm and dad comes in all dresses in shorts and his R.L.Polo's and the dog in the car, right!? WTF

[apples and bananas]

I have a mom who works from home. She drops the kids off in her sweats and slippers and picks them up in different sweats and slippers. The odd time she comes dressed as if she came from a meeting. But she always has stories about the great deal she got at the store she went to that day, or the great sale at the grocery store... or the new hair colour she showed up with at drop off. It certainly makes you feel taken advantage of. She's usually on time, but she certainly pushes the limits some days. So, since she doesn't have a lot of concern for my time, I find that I don't have a lot of concern for hers. I don't hesitate about closing early if my other kids are being picked up early, or taking a day off for an appointment ect.

[Play and Learn]

Well, Reggio is so right! There would be NO WAY IN HELL that they could get away with that with me. That's 2 strikes out of 3, and they would know it.

You tell me that either gf or dad is picking up, and you warn me that you're going to be about 5 min late, and then turn up 20 min late?! Ummm....do you NOT want to spend time with your child. They would have received an earful from me. AND....they would need to pay the late fees at drop-off in the next morning of care, or no care for the day until those fees are paid.

Then for the mom that decides when she gets to drop off? Umm....no, that's NOT your scheduled drop-off. That would also not work here, because i have school-agers in the morning before others come for the day. So right now I'm 'full' in numbers and then school-ager will get on the bus at 8:40, and then the other child will come after 9 a.m. If that mom decided to drop-off at 8:15 without me knowing, I wouldn't be able to take her child in until after the other one left.

You have to be the boss of your business. YOU'RE letting this family USE YOU. Wake up, and be the boss.

[mimi]

Sometimes the minor things can pile up. I have some parents that do a 15 second drop off - no time to chat- then arrive at closing and then they have all the time to chat about themselves - on my time. Also, -now you've got me going lol, I give my kids birthday and Christmas presents as I think they are great. I spend about 20.00 on each child. I have yet, in 6 years been thanked by a parent. When I prompt them by asking if Johnny liked his truck, I get a blank stare and then a lame thanks. These examples are just to let you know you are not alone my dear. I think though, in any business which deals with the public directly, there will be alot of examples of rude behavior. People are too self involved to be considerate. Hope you have a good day!