Are we supose to dislike some kids?

[11 years experience]

lets face it, everyone has a favourite child... I do...

and there is even that 1 child that you dont like..

in my 11 years experience I have learned that the reason you dont like a child is because you have not bonded with him or her. some kids are just not that easy to bond with.
I have a child that flat out refuses to sit with me, talk to me and hits me.
not matter how hard you try to bond with them...nope...not gunna happen...lol
they make it soooo hard. and it doesnt help that they cry or wine alot..

[Judy Trickett]

I have a child that flat out refuses to sit with me, talk to me and hits me.

I wouldn't have to worry about bonding with that child. ANY child who hits me only gets the opportunity to do so once. I will NOT allow a child to stay in my care who thinks it is okay, in any way, to hit me.

It is not our job to bond with kids. Sure, if we do, then that's great. But it is our job to ensure they are safe, secure, fed, warm etc and be in an emotionally supportive environment. Anything over and above that is just icing for the child and the parents who pay us.

I have to ask......do you think teachers really bond with their students?

[Crayola kiddies]

Hey nice to see you again judy ... It's been awhile

[apples and bananas]

I try not to create to much of a bond with the kids. They're only here for a short time. Lets be honest, we care for them the best we can, but at the end of the day they are a paycheck! I don't do this becuase of my desire to create a better world 5 little babies at a time. LOL I do this to pay the bills and stay home with my own children, and the fact that I enjoy playing, crafting, singing and reading stories is a huge bonus.

I have come across kids that I just don't like. None of them have given me signs that they don't like me though. I wouldn't put up with the hitting either... just not a good fit in my opinion.

[Momof4]

It really bothers me that parents can have a favourite child, so I never did that with my children and won't ever do that with my daycare children. (11 years - this is not an attack at you, I understand what you mean) I do have children in daycare that touch my heart more than others and I have to tell myself, oh yeah, hug that one too. Because there is always one child it seems who is really annoying in the group, I hear ya! But I make a conscious effort to treat them all equally.

I've had a child in chare who was super violent and I had to terminate them. Get the parents to help you make that child stop or I agree with the ladies - get out!

[playfelt]

Have you ever noticed that our feelings about the children are often a reflection of how we feel about the parents. When a parent annoys us it is like every little thing the child does annoys us and I have to remind myself the child is not responsible for how the adults choose to act.

Then of course there is the making up for poor parenting and having to deal with those children.

Personality wise some kids are just more engaging than others and while I go out of my way to include everyone some days I am just too tired so if you don't ask for what you want or care to join us for a game so what not going to do my song and dance routine to engage you.

Long term I know over the years which ones were my favourites even if I didn't realize it at the time. Some I remember by name and can visualize incidents we had happen in care. Other spots in my daycare draw blanks so guess the child didn't leave a lasting impression good or bad.

[fruitloop]

I also try not to have favorites, mainly because they aren't here longer than a year normally because parents go on mat leave...or leave my care because I've told them they have to correct certain behaviours (like hitting/kicking) and instead of doing this, they leave. Now saying that, I've had 2 kids that have snuck into my heart and I cried when they left but I really try to keep that shield up.

[ilovetolive]

I have to admit i have my "favourites" out of the children who come to my home. HOWEVER, I do not treat them any different. The house rules applies to everyone including my own children with no special treatment to anyone. I am struggling right now with my new child, not sure if it is a personality clash or because I just dislike their behaviour, This child seems to think she is the boss of EVERYONE. She orders the older kids around and tells them what they can and can't do in my house. I have to keep reminding her that i am the boss and i make the rules, not her. I feel like I am constantly on her case, but I can't have a six year thinking that she is in charge of my home!

[Momof4]

Very good point ilovetolive, and I also treat all the children equally, whether I like them or not it shouldn't show to the outside world and should be our little secret. I'm finding that there are some who make me laugh and touch my heart and others that I just never like even if they are here for 3 years.

[kidlove]

totally agree with Judy, though it seems a little harsh, its true. We all need to remember we have a job to do and it is not to make friends with all the kids and love them all soooo deeply. We are here to keep them safe, fed, loved, and cared for while their parents are off to work, and any extra is really some awsome icing on the cake. You can't MAKE a child like you, you can however make them respect you. And that is what you need to do with the hitter...but you don't have to go any farther than that, just respect him or her in return and keep them cared for properly. In time you might find some deep love or emotion for the child, or you may not. Just hold in the fact that the child is a "stink" and take care until the front door is closed for the night. Hard to do in our job, we are mostly very loving and "want" deeply for all the kids to love us in return as much as we want to love them....some kids just aren't as easy to love.