Re: soother: I think that is completely up to you, some parents do prefer to take the soother away while others like me don't mind it all. With my girls they had their soothers until they were almost 2 for sleeping. With my daycare kiddies I wean them off day time use as soon as possible and then nap time between 18 months - 2 depending on the child. The only reason I wean my dc kiddies off the soother is for sanitation reasons.

Re: not sleeping at night: I know it is hard to let your little one cry during the night especially when you need your sleep too! But self soothing is very important too and by running to him every time he cries he will not learn to self soothe / or will quickly learn to forget to self soothe. I know it is difficult to let them cry but it is sometimes for the best especially when you can't keep running to him 3 times each evening.

Often what I recommend to my daycare families if they feel they can't let their children cry themselves back to sleep is to try the 5 min rule. Not sure what the official name is, but let the child cry 5 min then go in assure the child you are still there but do not take them out of the crib, possible gently soothe by touching their face or rubbing their back, but not for long. Then walk away for 10 min before going back in, next is 15 minutes, and so forth. Increasing the amount of time before you assure them that you are still there. It is still really difficult, but once your child has learned to self soothe it is a rewarding experience for both Mommy and child.