Litte hitter!

[sunnydays]

I know jec has posted something similar, but I could also use some advice and don't want to hijack her thread! I have a little one who is 17 months and has been with me since he was 8 months old. He is a very sweet, happy little guy, but in the past three or four weeks, he has started hitting everyone and everything constantly! He is tiny, so when he hits with his hands it doesn't hurt, but he often now hits with toys and it hurts! sometimes he does it when he is mad, but often he is just doing it for fun...I am pretty certain to get attention as he will look at me and do it...it is so random...he will just walk over and start hitting someone...or he gets mad about something and hits whoever is near him. I have talked to the parents and we came up with a strategy which they say they use at home as well. We take him and hold his hands for about a minute and then have him touch the victim gently using "gentle hands"...at first it seemed to be working, but then he just ramped it up again! He understands completely when I say "are you using your gentle hands?" and will stop hitting, but then he goes on to hit again a few minutes later. I also give time-outs in the exersaucer, which he hates, when it gets out of hand. Now my other 17 month old is learning and starting to hit too! Help! Any advice would be appreciated!

[bright sparks]

If this is a sudden change as you say, IME theres usually a reason. I would be asking the parents if there have been any changes in his day to day life/routine. Is m or d working late and seeing less of him, has he gone into a big boy bed/given up his soother or blankie, is there a new sibling, is he involved in a new activity with a new group of kids etc etc. Theres usually a reason and that way you may be able to address this cause at the route of the problem.

Also IMO, I wouldn't give timeout in the exersaucer as he is being forced to stay in one spot where as time out in a corner or a particular spot in the room away from the action gives him the choice to get up, so if you are on top of his time out and make him stay in his spot for his time out, and keep putting him back if he gets up, then he will learn to make a better choice even for just this 1 or 2 minutes on time out and he will realize that he has control of the consequences, rather than just confining him. I would also be very consistant with time outs EVERY TIME, even if he hits 10 times a day. Also making him apologise to the victim and give hugs to show caring and loving behaviour.

Good Luck, these things take lots of patience and commitment to work through. I hope you get your loveing caring dcb back soon

[sunnydays]

Thanks for your advice! I will try doing the time-outs in the corner...although he is hitting maybe about 40-50 times a day...I cannot even count actually, it is every other minute...so it becomes very very difficult to supervise time-outs that many times in a day while caring for the other kids. I do have a time-out spot that the older kids sit in, but I am not sure if I will be able to spend the time to make this little guy learn to sit that many times in a day! I have spoken to the parents and they haven't come up with any change or reason, but then, it always occurs to me that really we as daycare providers, have no idea what goes on in the kids' homes...only what the parents say...and what parent is going to tell us that they are fighting with their husband or experiencing extreme stress for some reason etc? It's a guessing game really and I am left with having to deal with it on my end. His brother is a biter...he's almost 3 now and still does it occasionally, but it has always been when he gets frustrated, not for attention and he has gotten a lot better at stopping himself. I am hoping my week of vacation next week gives time to clear the air and maybe he will come back after and forget about hitting? (I know I am a dreamer...hahaha)

If this is a sudden change as you say, IME theres usually a reason. I would be asking the parents if there have been any changes in his day to day life/routine. Is m or d working late and seeing less of him, has he gone into a big boy bed/given up his soother or blankie, is there a new sibling, is he involved in a new activity with a new group of kids etc etc. Theres usually a reason and that way you may be able to address this cause at the route of the problem.

Also IMO, I wouldn't give timeout in the exersaucer as he is being forced to stay in one spot where as time out in a corner or a particular spot in the room away from the action gives him the choice to get up, so if you are on top of his time out and make him stay in his spot for his time out, and keep putting him back if he gets up, then he will learn to make a better choice even for just this 1 or 2 minutes on time out and he will realize that he has control of the consequences, rather than just confining him. I would also be very consistant with time outs EVERY TIME, even if he hits 10 times a day. Also making him apologise to the victim and give hugs to show caring and loving behaviour.

Good Luck, these things take lots of patience and commitment to work through. I hope you get your loveing caring dcb back soon

[jec]

I just saw your thread now ~ you could have hijacked my thread- we are here to support each other!
As long as you and the parents are on the same page with how your handling things, it might just take time to get the little one to change his behavior.

Just a thought, today I had a little one cause another little one to cut and bleed. I didn't give the hitter any acknowledgement and went the the little one who was hurt and cuddled him. Then afterwards, told the hitter to say sorry and we don't use our hands to hitting.

Sounds like your little guy is still testing the waters. As long as parents and you are on board with the same thing, he will change. My own dd used to bite! It took a long time to change that behavior and I didn't let her get away with ANYTHING. It took time but she changed her ways.
Hang on...it will change, just keep doing it