"But argg, when I heard a 13 month old, I pictured a walking, one-nap-a-day, self feeding, little boy. Now all this info is just weighing on me."
In my 10 years plus childcare career I have never ever seen or heard of any 13 month old kid feeding themselves or has 1 nap walking yeah maybe. And how come did you think that this baby will have one nap only where your own daughter naps twice?
I would never give processed cheese or food to any child. The only canned food they get here is either Tuna or Salmon.
Regarding microwaving the foods, I try to avoid but if we came from outside late and I have no time to reheat the food then I use it otherwise, foods heated on the hub.
According to your post, I don't think you and this particular family will get along well. You don't offer anything for her needs/wants so it is best that you say goodbye and look for another family I think. And she should look for another dayhome which can cater for her needs/wants.
Hope it helps.