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  1. #1
    Starting to feel at home... little rascals's Avatar
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    Oct 2011
    4 Times in 4 Posts

    Got a major behaviour problem and out of ideas to fix it !!

    So I have a boy in my care ( has been in my care for a year now). Until he turned two, didnt have a problem with listening and usually did what i asked. He has now turned two and has made a complete change in behaviour. I cannot get him to clean up at clean up time. When i ask him to help he lays on the floor crying and refuses to clean. This is also also what he has been doing whenever i ask him to do something. He does not mind time outs.I have also tried putting him in a playpen for time out but he now climbs out. He puts himself in time out when he doesnt want to do what he is asked. So i have not been really using time out with him bc he rather be in the corner and has no problem with it. Last week he has started spitting at me and his parents whenever told to do something. He does it everytime and starts laughing. I have no idea what to do with this type of behavior. His parents are having the same trouble at home. We are trying to figure out a strategy that can be used at home and dayhome so that there is consistency. I find that he turns everything into a game and doesnt know the difference between playing around and seriousness.
    Have any of you dealt with this type of situation? Any advice will be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    949 Times in 781 Posts
    You are on the right track - consistency - good for you and good luck. This is really strange that all of a sudden the child picked up bad behaviour. Is there an older sibling or child in the neighbourhood teaching him these things? I suggest getting to the root of the problem first to see where a previously well behaved boy starts acting out.

    If timeouts don't bother him then you must come up with a new plan as punishment. When I'm angry with the children I tell them that I'm using my angry voice and my angry face and that we better get things fixed so I can go back to my nice voice and my nice face. They know I'm serious when I say that. Can you come up with a system that works for you to let the children know when you have reached your limit and they must behave?

    We all have to do what works for us and our groups of children. Timeouts work for me usually, but if I have a child who is out of control I will make them lie down and calm themselves. Separating a child completely from the group who are having fun playing usually works well. But your little guy is already doing these things to himself! Sorry, I'm at a loss!

    This boy needs firm rules by the sound of it, with no fluctuation. Do the parents give in to him easily and maybe they aren't following through at home so he knows he can get away with things?

  3. #3
    Starting to feel at home... little rascals's Avatar
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    Oct 2011
    4 Times in 4 Posts
    Thanks momof4! Here I only have a boy his age and he doesn't act like this at all. I had a three year old girl who left last week she started spitting bc he did it and she copied so the behavior is coming from him. Parents say don't know where he picked it up. He used to randomly spit but now it is directed at the adult talking to him.
    I have been as firm as I can be with him. He doesn't get away with things with me and he knows this but he still tries as much as he can to push and it becomes a very frustrating time. I used to do timeouts with him and he knew not to do it again and now he keeps repeating bad behavior.
    Parent have mentioned that they need to be harder on him and are goin to do it so I hope that that helps. By the end of the day I'm exhausted.

  4. #4
    Starting to feel at home...
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    9 Times in 7 Posts
    When faced with these type of challenges at clean up time, I ensure I am providing a great deal of positive reinforcement to the children that are cleaning up. They are getting hi five's, kisses and hugs, stamps on their hands and clapping for a job well done. I focus on that and the child that isn't cleaning up quickly follows suit so he can gain the same recognition.

    For the spitting.....I had a child several years ago that did this. The parents were quite proactive in working with me on this but nothing we did helped at all. Finally after having the child spit everywhere, the mom flicked him on his lip one day and it startled him. He didn't do it anymore at her house. I ended up doing the same thing here at his mom's request and it worked like a charm. Not sure what the parents are like that you have, if they would do something like that.

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