VENT: Sooooo frustrated!!

[Littledragon]

Well, just as I knew she would, she gave her three weeks today I am a little upset and I am trying not to be resentful. I'm trying to remind myself that she did the best she could and kept me in the loop the whole time. And a bit of it is my fault. I just had so much faith that things would turn out the way I needed them to that I sort of became complacent. I just really didn't want to have to deal with finding someone. I spent the past 4 months desperately looking for clients, and I had TWO weeks of reprieve. Now I'm looking again. Ugh. I hate looking. I hate waiting for THAT email.

[sunnydays]

Thanks Reggio! Sometimes I have noticed on this forum that people have a tendency to advise termination very very quickly and easily. I was thinking about this recently and wondering if these same people actually terminate clients as often as they advise others to! Not saying that termination is not sometimes necessary (I had to do it once myself), but I just think it is very easy to tell someone else to do it and we don't alwasy know the full story either. I agree that if the client is being honest and repectful and trying, I would not terminate, but would look to fill the remaining spot so that things wouldn't be so tight. Maybe she will end up returning when she does find work...but definitely not if you terminated her!

I have said it before on this forum but IMO THIS THINKING quoted above is why we have a culture, specially in home childcare, of negative support and everyone looking out for themselves and creating this karmic balance of 'lack of abundance' or 'trust' in each other where one person always ends up 'screwed' financially because the other person did what was 'best' for them not trusting that if we work together we can more often than not have WIN WIN .... IMO no one should 'loose' because they were honest and open with each other .... karmically that just sends bad mojo out into the world

Clients do not want to tell us they 'might' have a change in care coming because they are afraid they will get terminated because the stories from parents who HAVE had this happen fly around parenting boards and forums and well they read and see it right out in the open from the words of providers on forums like this so they KNOW it is a reality of some providers to do this and so they come at it as a 'look out for myself' instead of looking out for EACH OTHER. Providers do not want to share with clients that they might need 'time off' or that they are closing until the last possible second leaving clients 'scrambling' to find care because they are afraid clients will terminate on them and leave them without an income ... it is just so sad and IMO unnecessary

Fact remains that THIS is going to be your self employed daycare reality cause it happens to us ALL ... you just think you have it all 'figured out' and bam someone is leaving .... if I had a nickle for every one of my awesome professional kick ass program peers who 'just' got themselves full only to have someone give notice I would be RETIRED I was so rich ... honestly do a poll on here of how often people have 'turn over' of clients on a regular basis.

I have only been open since 2007 ~ I consider my turn over LOW because I have never terminated a client or had anyone leave on 'bad term's' and yet I still have had 17 children through my program since opening so the reality is that is an average of 4 new children a year and well that seems like 'a lot' of turnover in that context!

Fortunately it has not 'felt' like that for me because of HOW my turnover occurs ... people moved because of job transfers, or they had a baby and chose to stay home, child graduated to school full time .... I am fortunate that all my clients have always kept me in the loop and all of them gave me MONTHS of notice about leaving so that I had time to start to 'save extra' just in case as well as prepare, interview and find replacements before they actually left so no break in income for the majority of them unless I CHOSE to be low cause I did not want a new one starting at the time and waited until a few months time!

I have had several clients 'be uncertain' of their future with me do to lay offs .... I have one right now whose in new year BOTH of them got laid off and while mom found better job right away the dad has been laid off since February but they are still coming and keeping me in the loop with how many more weeks they've been able to budget for cause dad has found some 'temp' work to help but there is that 'uncertainty' but I am TRUSTING that what will happen will happen for the best while planning for the potential loss in income by cutting back my spending and putting away a portion of their income into 'savings' in case they pull on me and I have yet another space open cause I already have 3 leaving in September for school!

However my experience has always been 'positive' with this approach and thinking cause I had a past client my first year who got laid off they told me that the day it happened, they shared they had budgeted for '6 weeks' of care to continue to give dad time to find a job and would let me know at the end of the 6 weeks if they would need to give notice entirely depending on how dads search went or it they could 'cut' more from their budget to cover daycare on a part time basis could I work with them to keep their spot cause they did not want to pull her if not they would understand and just 'pull' in the two week time frame and save their money since dad was off .... so open honest communication helped us to find a WIN WIN compromise for both of us cause it was not me loosing a child with only two weeks notice and being out income while I tried to find another client at a time of year when new enrollment is low ~ they were working together realizing/respecting this was my income while letting me know how I could help meet their needs too ... and thankfully the dad found a job before that 6 weeks was up and that child stayed with me another 2 years until school started but what makes me remember to TRUST in the universe is that because I was working WITH them despite taking a perceived small financial hit at the time cause who knows maybe i could have filled the space right away but it could have sat empty until the spring? However my point being that moving forward that choice paid off cause they referred me a new client next time I had a space, that new client than also referred me two new clients because they had a second child themselves and referred a coworker but if I had had that 'scarcity thinking' and panicked and terminated I would have lost out on 2 more great years with that family and 3 of my current clients who are all from that 'circle' of acquaintances would never have found my program and would certainly likely NOT been referred by that client had I just 'terminated' in favor of perceived 'stability' in some other client?

I get that we all have to keep our businesses VIABLE cause we cannot be working for free and so forth and that we have to keep our business goals in mind when making choices cause this is our business and responsibility .... I just personally think that there has to be balance in business in order to be truly SUCCESSFUL and that for me means having some faith in the pay if forward thinking of treat others BETTER than we want to be treated because than, even with the evil in the world, what we get back should at least be close to what we deserve in life if we are doing more 'good' for others!!!!

I guess reading this I am wondering if you are not FULL at the moment so it is not like you turned away other potential income in taking her on and if the child is awesome and the mother is being open and honest and respectful and is 'trying' to get a job and hoping to stay and willing to BORROW money in order to keep the space ..... why the need to 'terminate' her over this? To me everything you've shared is something I find admirable in a client who is putting securing quality childcare for her child FIRST???

Why not just keep looking for more clients so you have a bigger 'buffer' in your income and can use that $$$ to SAVE since it will be 'extra' than and wait and see if she has too leave eventually you were supportive and have had that time to find new clients ... who knows she might get a job that allows her to keep the youngest in care PT over the mat leave and so forth and the family might refer or help you build your business in some other way?

[sunnydays]

So sorry she gave notice However, maybe she will find a job soon and will return to you since you kept things respectful and accomodated her on this. Good luck filling the spaces!

Well, just as I knew she would, she gave her three weeks today I am a little upset and I am trying not to be resentful. I'm trying to remind myself that she did the best she could and kept me in the loop the whole time. And a bit of it is my fault. I just had so much faith that things would turn out the way I needed them to that I sort of became complacent. I just really didn't want to have to deal with finding someone. I spent the past 4 months desperately looking for clients, and I had TWO weeks of reprieve. Now I'm looking again. Ugh. I hate looking. I hate waiting for THAT email.

[PPF123]

I started out with having too many parents wanting daycare simply because there was no one in my area. The phone wouldn't stop ringing. My daycare was full until December of last year. I had two parents lose their jobs and another child who went to a different provider because their schedules no longer matched mine. I spent most of December advertising for spots which was hard because of Christmas. I filled the two spots that were vacant in December and proceeded forward. In April of this year, I lost another 2 kids, filled the spots, and now I have to fill them again.

I started out looking for childcare for my daughter and found out that there were a lot of people that couldn't afford the daycare centers or were waiting on endless lists. I was fortunate to have some kids for 3 years and others only a few months. I've only terminated one child and that was simply because the mother showed up an hour early to drop off her kid and than phoned me at pick up time to ask if I could watch her another 2 hrs. The next day the kid showed up here with lice and it also was apparent that the child had never been reprimanded in her life. I don't like to terminate unless I absolutely have to simply because there is nothing worse than passing off the child to someone else. Don't blame the child, blame the parent.

Everytime I think about doing something else or wonder if I'm making a difference at all, I will get a visit from a former client or I will notice a behavior that I changed in the child that is currently in my care. The worst moment for parents is when they have to tell the child that they are no longer coming to my home anymore. I've had more than one call after they are out of my care where the parents phone me about it. I always explain to the child that they can always come back as a "special" visitor to see me when Mom and Dad have time.

I'd like to make more money but I wouldn't want to do this if all the children were numbers instead of people. I guess that does make me a little "crazy".