DCG crying if see me out in public!!

[Dreamalittledream]

I have a little 2 1/2 year old DCG (I've had her since January); she is a creature of habit and routine. When she arrives, her dad must walk her in, she must take her own shoes off, he must hold her hand going down the stairs (she can do this by herself also) and then she's bounding into the playroom happy and smiling into my arms without a backward glance at Dad & is a cuddly, happy, playful girl all day. BUT if this routine changes at all (if they happen to arrive late and we are already playing outside), only until recently she would cling to Dad & resist. Another weird thing; Mom is always the one to pick up...we are most always all playing a game or activity together (she's happy and smiling)...as soon as she sees Mom she turns into this whiny, clinging creature who will not leave unless her Mom gives her a treat.
So, anyway, today, is a day off for me and my 3 year old son and I were at our local park. DCG and her mom, as well as her friend (who has 2 sons starting with me in Sept) arrive to play at the park as well (this is actually the first time I have seen DCG outside of my daycare environment). I hold my arms out, very happy to see her...she immediately bursts into tears and clings to Mom (it wasn't routine). It broke my heart...and embarrassed me for sure (I'm thinking, what must she think if this little girl is scared of her Childcare provider?!). Both just laughed it off. I still have a sick feeling in my stomach.

[Littledragon]

OMG she sounds like my niece! My neice is EXACTLY like this. She was diagnosed just recently with OCD. If she walks along and falls over, she has to do it again without falling. Things always have the be the exact same way (she has NO routine or structure in her home) or she flips out. What is most likely happening, if she doesn't have OCD is that her parents are allowing this behaviour. She's probably indulged at home and runs the show. She honestly sounds like a bit of a drama queen and she knows she can get away with it. It's hard because she's so young but she cleary has both parents wrapped around her finger. Unfortunately, there isn't too much you can do at daycare to rectify this situation rather than just do all you can to boost confidence and make sure she is secure and confident in her environment. Her parents are the ones who are allowing this behavior to continue. She probably feels a bit insecure in her environment at daycare and that is why she needs that same routine, but I'm guessing that when she turns around crying to mom and dad, they coddle her? They need to stop doing that. It will only be detrimental to her well-being, self esteem and self confidence in the future.

Unfortunately, there isn't too much you can do. You can try taking charge as soon as she gets there, to not allow her parents to have so much influence over their daughter when she sets foot on your property, but if she's anything like my niece, it will only makes things worse - because she knows mom and dad are there to make everything better. I once put my neice in a time out when her mom wasn't here and she took it in stride. I put her in a time out when her mom was here and she flipped out, screamed bloody murder and kept screaming, mommy I need you like I was killing her.

Hang in there. This is definitely something you need to talk to the parents about