How do you deal with "Drama Queens"?

[treeholm]

I keep seeing references to time-outs for children who are very young. It sounds like a good idea, so I'm wondering how you enforce it. If I were to tell a child to sit on the couch and not move, and they didn't listen, what then? Would you physically restrain the child? That's where my discomfort lies. I can't physically force a child to sit in a time out unless I just pop them in the playpen. Is there a risk that the playpen is then seen as a punishment instead of their comfy resting place?
I'm of the generation who was allowed to spank my own children (not that I would ever spank a child these days!!), and for my own children, the threat of a spanking was enough to smarten them up. My granddaughter doesn't listen nearly as well as my own children did, and I'm wondering what today's alternatives are. She is 3 and a half.

[Momof4]

I start timeouts as young as 18 months but I have a chair in the corner that they are not supposed to go on because it turns back and forth and I'm afraid of them tipping it over. So I use it as my timeout chair. I sit right beside them and tell them what they did wrong. I believe children that age have the attention span of fruit flies so my timesouts only last maybe 20 seconds. Then I hold both their hands in mine, look at them in the eyes and tell them one more time what they did wrong and if they made somebody else cry I take them over and have them hug their friend.

Once children reach the age of 2 and up they understand a lot better what they did wrong and I also get them to apologize but I follow this general method no matter what the age of the child.

[treeholm]

Thanks Momof4, that makes sense that you sit beside them. I have used timeouts with older children who could understand that if they got off the step too soon, I started timing again, but I was puzzled how to do this with a very small child. My granddaughter at 3 and a half is just starting to figure out that the timeout is over fast if she just stays there and says she is sorry LOL

[Inspired by Reggio]

... I should have said something to the parent re: asking the child to appoligize...... As far as I'm concerned with a child like that.....it's the parents who owe me an appology not the child. unfortunately I cant tell the parent they need to tell me they are sorry for allowing their child to treat me poorly. I just treat them all with respect and after they leave..just shake my head and pray for them.

See this is where we differ ~ I would say something to the parent about how their 'lack of action' is not acceptable and the predicament it puts me is unfair. My code of conduct requires respect for all, children and clients, and by NOT stepping up and in fact LAUGHING when their child misbehaved they might as well have spit in my face themselves as far as I am concerned because they have given their child the message that they think it is FUNNY and are condoning it by their inaction! Honesty while in MY HOME you follow MY RULES or you LEAVE cause I will not work with someone who is working 'against' me it is not worth it cause all the hard work you do during the day is than undone ~ I do not care if they do things 'differently' at home as long as we are sharing the same GOALS cause we can get to the same place via different directions but if we heading in opposite directions with what we want for children ~ than we have made a mistake in our arrangement and are not a match for service!

Honestly I actually sent one of my clients home with their child one day because the client in an attempt to redirect her pissy toddler threatened that if she was rude to one more person during drop off in the morning that she was going home to bed and the kid was rude immediately after growling angrily in the face of another child trying to say good morning ~ so I handed them their coats and said 'guess we will try again tomorrow ~ hopefully a good nap in her room will turn her around' ... cause the rule at my house is you say what you mean and you mean what you say ... you want to give your kid empty threats at home so they do not trust or listen to you that's fine but you do not do it in MY house and I had already warned this parent prior ... but it worked it was the LAST time she made an empty threat here next time she did the 'if your rude again Reggio is going to put you to bed upstairs' ... but at least she showed 'improvement' in getting it next we had to have the 'do not threaten your child with discipline you expect someone else to carry out for you ~ you need to deal with it right than and there' ... so than she moved from threatening to 'bribing' instead but that's a whole different thread

Honestly one of the great things about being self employed and working from home as your own boss .... you do not have to take CRAP from anyone .... I do and say what I need to for my program to run they way I can thrive and be happy and my group can thrive and be happy even if it sometimes means 'tough love' in saying what needs to be said to people ~ if a client does not want my level of 'support and advice' coming at them they are free to seek service elsewhere

I have said some pretty TOUGH / FRANK stuff over the years to the client who I sent home with the mean what you say and say what you mean and they've been here 5 years now .... although they are still struggling with how to deal with their kids because sometimes that 'tough stuff' falls on DEAF EARS I think and well I am now at the point where I see the light at the end of the tunnel and have just decided to do what I need to do to get to end of August and just say 'goodbye' and leave them to do the best they can in the world with the little bit I managed to 'change' over the past 5 years to help them thrive in school and so forth.

[Bookworm]

Thanks everyone. I have been consistent with her, and I think she is just one very stubborn girl. I talked to the mom this morning about how I deal with this behaviour (she asked), so hopefully she can follow through at home too.