How do you deal with "Drama Queens"?

[Bookworm]

I have been caring for a little dcg for about 6 months now. She has been a difficult child from the start. Something is ALWAYS going on with this child. She still cries a lot (often because she doesn't get her own way), and I just put her in a different room until she stops, because it disrupts the other children. I dread the days it is just her and my son because they just egg each other on and I pretty much have to deal with two whining/crying children the entire day. She always wants to be held (which I refuse to do) and as a result, she whines and cries.
Have any of you experienced a child like this? What have you done to try and curb this behaviour?
I've tried ignoring, putting her is a different room, etc... but nothing seems to work. It is exhausting to deal with and I often feel like terminating on this alone, but it just doesn't seem like enough to get rid of someone....

[Lou]

How old is she?

I had a drama queen (3 yrs) who pitched fits about small things like needing to keep her socks on, which barbie she got to play with, what we served for lunch etc. She is an only child and could do NOTHING for herself when she first started with me because Mom and Dad babied her so much. They catered to her every move. It definitely took awhile before she learned the ropes around here, but has settled in nicely! Once she cried for an hour because she wasn't first to go down the slide when we went outside. I told her to go finish her crying on the chair and boy did she keep it up! But I ignored her and did fun things with the kids so she really missed out. After missing out quite a bit because of her attitude, she slowly but surely came around! Good luck!

[Momof4]

I have a drama king, but only in front of his mother and she falls for his crap. It makes me ill the way he turns it off the minute she is gone. He's been this way for 3 1/2 years so I gave up and just give him 'the look' once I close that door and he's like a lightswitch. Yep, he deserves the Oscar.

[Bookworm]

She's a year and a half. She's very much in charge at home, with mom for sure anyways.

[kidlove]

oooh, you have a tough row to hoe with this one only because Mom just may be the problem. I have had alot of kids like this, as soon as parents come they start to ignore your authority and start the show, ooooh Mom thinks its so cute. spare me! The one thing I know is when I am done with them they are like two dif little personalities, as soon as they come through the door the game is over. They learn I've got their number and they fly right for the next 9 hrs. But as soon as Mom or Dad comes through the door, my efforts are done. I just step back and watch them morf back into a terror. If the parent ever asks "do they do this with you all day?" I just respond to them "not with me, they know better!" I have been spit on in front of a parent and the parent just laughed.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Ya ~ I have had my share of Drama Queens for sure ~ and I handle them the same way during the day as in front of the parent ~ use your words to discuss your needs cause that is not getting you anything!

oooh, you have a tough row to hoe with this one only because Mom just may be the problem. ....

LOVE this quote!

I agree

I have been spit on in front of a parent and the parent just laughed.

Oh that would not FLY here ~ I would have dealt with that kid in front of the parent ~ with the firm not acceptable, getting a wipe to help clean it up and apologizing for it and a FIRM reminded the parent of the CODE OF CONDUCT in my daycare and that an act of violence towards another child or adult is not FUNNY it is immediate grounds of termination so unless they want to be spending tomorrow at home with their kid seeking new childcare arrangement that I suggest they get on board with BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION and consequences at HOME for this transgression in judgement of the child!

Seriously spitting at another person is ASSUALT in the adult world ~ why should we treat it any differently cause it is a child doing it?

[Momof4]

It is possible to make sure the children behave completely different for you than they do for their own parents. Be consistent with your rules all day every day and let them know there is no compromise. It takes practice and a lot of your energy but I do it every day and I rarely use any timeouts any more. Also, I keep them very busy.

The little boy I mentioned above is completely in charge of the family and I've told this to the Mom. She says 'I know' so what can I do? Nothing to help her, that's for sure. But this boy is good for me all day long because he knows my rules are non-negotiable. I have a 20 month old boy who is not listening right now and I'm going to be putting him in timeouts shortly it appears but I will do it all day every day until he realizes he absolutely cannot have his way at daycare, he has to behave properly.

[kidlove]

Reggio: When the child has spit on me, I def. step up and dirrect my attention at the child stating "That is not acceptable behavior, you do not spit on people" and go further to ask him, do I spit on you? he says no, and I say of course not because I love you and respect you, you need to do the same to me. That hurts my heart.! all this time though, the parent just stares out the window, ticks me off. I should have said something to the parent re: asking the child to appoligize. Hard to explain, but some people are just different. and these people are a little, in the sense that their kids kind of run them.......heres the thing though, it is the PARENT not the child because during his time in care he is respectful and listens to everything I say and ask, using manners, appoligizes to others the whole nine yards. As far as I'm concerned with a child like that.....it's the parents who owe me an appology not the child. unfortunately I cant tell the parent they need to tell me they are sorry for allowing their child to treat me poorly. I just treat them all with respect and after they leave..just shake my head and pray for them.

[kidlove]

20 monthes seems to be the ripe age for "time-outs" then by the time they hit about 3, if youve been consistant...seems they have it down pat. They know what you expect of them.

Just have to add: Dont care who you are and how well you run your day care, almost every child knows (it's just human nature) when mom and dad walk through the door, your authority is no longer priority. The parent now runs the show. For me its a good example of how they work at home, some kids see their parents an dwalk the line, if I ask them to pick up, the parent gives them the look and they get right to it. However, if the parent is not authoritative you can tell because I will ask the child to pick up and the child looks at the parent for guidance, the parent doesnt re-affirm my orders and the child goes right for their shoes. sometimes if I feel it needed, i will go to the child take them by the hand in fron of parent and lead them to the mess and say, "i need you to pick up your toys before you go home" thankyou. some parents just dont help!!!

[Momof4]

Just have to add: Dont care who you are and how well you run your day care, almost every child knows (it's just human nature) when mom and dad walk through the door, your authority is no longer priority. The parent now runs the show. For me its a good example of how they work at home, some kids see their parents an dwalk the line, if I ask them to pick up, the parent gives them the look and they get right to it. However, if the parent is not authoritative you can tell because I will ask the child to pick up and the child looks at the parent for guidance, the parent doesnt re-affirm my orders and the child goes right for their shoes. sometimes if I feel it needed, i will go to the child take them by the hand in fron of parent and lead them to the mess and say, "i need you to pick up your toys before you go home" thankyou. some parents just dont help!!!

Oh, I could not agree more with this! But I find the children behave so well for me when the parents are not here. It's because they know my rules and my expectations of them and what I will not tolerate and that I follow through with everything I say. Parents are too tired to do that, but it's my job.