Help with a challenging situation- posting anonymously

[mamaof4]

Hi,

I just need your input on how to stand my ground with this person. I have a dayhome provider that lives not to far from me, and we've brcome friends sort of. As I used to send my child to her. (I didn't know anything about ratio's at that time), and she is closing as of Sept 1 after many years in operation. She wantd to send me two of her clients...Which would be great accept if I take on these two I will have a total of 8, which:

A: I am not even remotely comfortable with
B: I would hate having that many children in my space
C: Is against ratio

I have told her this alot, but she's like, "I never follow ratios, how do you think I've stayed open this long?" And I said, "Well you've been reported and faced over ratio fines, yeah?" Her response: "Yeah so?" (that is not the reason I pulled my child out, but in the end it was a good choice)

For some reason this woman has no regard for the law, and does not care that I don't want to do this...She keeps saying..."It's an extra grand a month, you're a fool if you don't want that cash." I pulled my child out because she was not giving reciepts.

She also seems to think that me saying "If anything changes in my dayhome I will consider it," translates to "yeah I am totally on board with this!" I also tried to get an out saying I was going on holiday's this fall, and from what she says this mom doesn't pay for vacation, and all my parents do. Her rebutle to this was "I am more then willing to be your back up."

She just doesn't get that I am not an under the table dayhome..... Sigh.

[BlueRose]

Why not take the parents information, call them to let them know that at this time you do not have any spots open but would love to meet with them in cause a spot does open up. This way if you like them you can put them on a waiting list. If the parents question way you wont take on more kids at this time, just explain that you are not only not conformable with breaking the law, but you feel that you would be butting all the kids safety at risk. Any good parent would understand this. The parents might not even realize there is a proper ratio.

I personally would never break the ratio myself. I don't think its safe for the kids. But that's just my opinion.

[jec]

I agree with Valerie, if this lady isn't listening then tell her that you'll call the daycare families yourself. Call the families and advise them that your full at the moment and if they are interested you can call them down the road if something comes up.

[kidlove]

absolutely agree with the others: you need to remember...although someone may be able to handle having more than the allowed amount of children, if you disregard the rules/laws, that shows you lack integrity. not to mention, if your system works anything like ours, you get written up for going over and it is reported for all future clients to see. Dont know about you but if I were a parent looking for quality care and saw that? I would throw you aside and move on to someone more responsible. Just call the parents and ask if they would like to be on a wait list, all you can do.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Yup if you have tried to be 'nice' and tell her why your not interested and she is not listening than I would just tell her what she wants to hear to shut her up ~ you'll take the clients information and go from that ~ and than contact THEM and educate THEM as to why you cannot and will not be able to service them regardless of what SHE has told them .... hopefully moving forward than these clients can make better choice if they did not 'know' the rules or they can choose to seek out someone else like her who goes over ratio in order to do things like not provide reciepts, not require payment for vacation and so forth because she 'makes up for that lost income' by being illegal and so forth.

Although personally I could not be 'friends' with someone who does not share my core values so knowing this is her 'view' on the world that it is acceptable to just break the laws that suit her and to defraud taxpayers by not claiming her income and working illegally under the table and so forth I would have to distance myself from her both professionally and personally cause I would not want that karma in my life!

[Mamma_Mia]

100% agree

When the parents contact you saying "SUSIE said you'd be able to watch JOHNNY for us" you can say...."Oh I'm sorry but I currently have 5 in my care which is the LAW so I can't go over those numbers....have you tried A, B & C if they're available? Good Luck".