Spanking Kids

[mlc1982]

I'm same as Mamma Mia. I haven't had to spank my kids but have given a little tap or flick on the mouth or a smack on the hand. I honestly don't think I could bring myself to give them an actual good spanking.

[kidlove]

Thats just because their not old enough yet. I was raised as a "spanked" child so on and so forth. Didnt screw me up!!!! I believe firmly in "spare the rod, spoil the child" with ALOT of thought and under the right circumstances there is Nothing wrong with correcting your child when they have made an improper choice, by spanking. It's not for every child, its not for every parent, and def not for every circumstance. But, that being said...IMO spankings are a proper way of raising your child. (under correct circumstance only) mind you: my kids are 9yr and 11yrs. didnt have their first REAL spanking until about 4. did get the typical butt swat for getting into things they shouldnt and such. but real spanks began around 4.

[Sandbox Sally]

Thats just because their not old enough yet. I was raised as a "spanked" child so on and so forth. Didnt screw me up!!!! I believe firmly in "spare the rod, spoil the child" with ALOT of thought and under the right circumstances there is Nothing wrong with correcting your child when they have made an improper choice, by spanking. It's not for every child, its not for every parent, and def not for every circumstance. But, that being said...IMO spankings are a proper way of raising your child. (under correct circumstance only) mind you: my kids are 9yr and 11yrs. didnt have their first REAL spanking until about 4. did get the typical butt swat for getting into things they shouldnt and such. but real spanks began around 4.

I wasn't put in a car seat, either. I am not screwed up. I would NEVER think of not using a car seat with a child. This type of logic is not a valid argument.

I fail to see how hitting a child is sending any kind of positive message. Children do not NEED to be spanked, therefore, why on earth would you choose to inflict pain on your kid? I don't understand...

As for "spare the rod and spoil the child", I call bullshit. None of my friends or family spank. We are regularly told how great our kids behave. That's no coincidence.

[Littledragon]

Thats just because their not old enough yet. I was raised as a "spanked" child so on and so forth. Didnt screw me up!!!! I believe firmly in "spare the rod, spoil the child" with ALOT of thought and under the right circumstances there is Nothing wrong with correcting your child when they have made an improper choice, by spanking. It's not for every child, its not for every parent, and def not for every circumstance. But, that being said...IMO spankings are a proper way of raising your child. (under correct circumstance only) mind you: my kids are 9yr and 11yrs. didnt have their first REAL spanking until about 4. did get the typical butt swat for getting into things they shouldnt and such. but real spanks began around 4.

How does a REAL spaning differ from a swat? I thought that that was what was supposed to be a spank - a swat. I hope a REAL spanking doesn't mean causing bodily harm - because then you're defeating the purpose. I just don't see how using AGGRESSION to correct a child is a good idea - or that it even works long term

[Sandbox Sally]

IMO, nobody "has to" spank. I wasn't spanked, and I don't spank. If your child is a toddler and is doing something dangerous, a loud noise is just as effective. Just my opinion.

ETA: I also ask about discipline during interviews for daycare families, and I will not accept a family into care if they spank.

[Yarnlover]

Spanking has never even crossed my mind with my own child. It just doesn't factor into my thinking at all. I was spanked here and there as a child, nothing major but I fail to see any positive benefit to the action of hitting a child.

If children learn from us then I think we have to ask what they learn from us when we spank them. I certainly don't want my daughter thinking that something she had done has caused her to "deserve" a physical punishment. In my opinion if a child is old enough to understand then you explain consequences, if they are too young to understand then they are too young to be hit anyways.

I get that a tap on the hand isn't the same as a spanking, I am not trying to condem anyone, I just personally don't get it. I don't have to make a conscious effort not to spank, it literally just doesn't enter my mind at all.

[Dreamalittledream]

It's an interesting debate for sure; not that I am being an advocate for any form of physical punishment (tap on the hand or whatever)...but it could be argued that a loud voice (yelling) is just as damaging? It's all about what choices you make for your family, your children. I can honestly say that none of my children have ever been spanked in any way whatsoever..but boy it was a huge challenge with my last son (now 3) to get him not to hit (go figure?!). And I admit it; I would get so frustrated a spank of the bum did enter my mind...just didn't go there.

[Sandbox Sally]

It's an interesting debate for sure; not that I am being an advocate for any form of physical punishment (tap on the hand or whatever)...but it could be argued that a loud voice (yelling) is just as damaging? It's all about what choices you make for your family, your children. I can honestly say that none of my children have ever been spanked in any way whatsoever..but boy it was a huge challenge with my last son (now 3) to get him not to hit (go figure?!). And I admit it; I would get so frustrated a spank of the bum did enter my mind...just didn't go there.

I hope you didn't imply from my post that I am a yeller. When I said loud voice, I mean more of an "OH!! and then in a quieter voice, ohhhh no, ohhhhh dear that is scary...that hurts <insertnamehere>." I can't write it down properly....but it startles instead of shames or scares. In my opinion, this is far better than physically hitting a child.

Frustration is frustration. No parent, no matter what end of spanking debate you're on, should hit out of anger. That's abuse.

[Dreamalittledream]

I hope you didn't imply from my post that I am a yeller. When I said loud voice, I mean more of an "OH!! and then in a quieter voice, ohhhh no, ohhhhh dear that is scary...that hurts <insertnamehere>." I can't write it down properly....but it startles instead of shames or scares. In my opinion, this is far better than physically hitting a child.

Frustration is frustration. No parent, no matter what end of spanking debate you're on, should hit out of anger. That's abuse.

. Sorry, no offense meant at all. I was totally not implying that you are a 'yeller'...I guess I was trying to point out that there are degrees of everything (to one person using a loud voice is yelling or a 'tap' on the hand is spanking); to what degree is it damaging and is one more damaging than the other?

[Littledragon]

This is a SUPER sensitive issue for me. I don't see ANY REASON to spank EVER! All it teaches is that it is OK to hit when they are upset and it teaches them aggression. I don't see a difference in slapping them in the bum or slapping them in the face. I think it should be outlawed and doesn't help the situation AT ALL. All it does is create fear for pain and aggression, rather than fear for ACTUAL consequences like time outs and so forth. There have been studies done that link spanking to low self esteem, anger issues and so forth. IMO there is NEVER good and appropriate time to spank. I remember being spanked when I was young, and I remember felling very violated and uncomfortable - expecially when it's done in front of the other kids. I'm sorry if I've upset anyone, but I don't see a reason for it and I think spanking is wrong.