What to do, what to do...

[Sandbox Sally]

I am going to sound terrible, horrible and unworthy of a daycare career when I post this, but

I CAN'T STAND THE 6YO I AM CARING FOR!

They pay on time, have great hours, have done everything right, but every single time this kid comes, I am SO stressed, I wonder if it's worth the money.

He grinds his heels in no matter what I serve him. They've been raised on KD, hot dogs and nutella. If he's never eaten it before (which he hasn't, with 99% of the foods I serve), then he throws a fit and refuses to eat. If he thinks he doesn't like it, he won't try it. Should I serve him junk food and just be done with the issue? His parents don't care.

He is intensely moody, and throws things when I won't let him play his DS (he brings it every day). As I have posted before, he has punched me, and I have several times had to physically remove him from a situation. He's 6. He's not light. My back hurts.

His speech is severely impeded, and he often turns his back while he's talking to me, and will trail off so I can't hear him. I have to stop what I am doing, ask him to repeat himself before I can understand. He gets very angry with me, but it's really much less to do with his impediment and more to do with his volume level and that he walks away while speaking.

He has peed on my floor three times, and peed on my couch once. I have NO idea what to do here. His mother doesn't seem to think it's an issue.

If I ask him to stop throwing toys/yelling at his sister/grabbing things out of the 2yo's hand, he loses his shit, flailing and yelling and throwing things at me...

I feel awful for feeling so negatively about a 6 yo child, but it's pretty extreme stuff.

So do I suck it up and continue care for the next four weeks? They are summer only. We sorta kinda need the $$, but I don't know if I can take much more. He is ruining my summer.

HELP?

[treeholm]

I'm not understanding why you don't terminate him... I know I'm a newbie, but I would be very worried about the effect of his behaviour on the other children. A 6-year old should not be acting this way. I know you need the money, and I think that is an important consideration, but I would be asking if the stress made the money even worth it. I am very sorry you are going through this.

[dodge__driver11]

First hon, That's part of your problem right there. The parents do not care, and that makes me so sad for the dck.

Second, peeing on your furniture @ 6, um no.

Third, not wanting what you serve? He'd starve here, I'd make sure he had water, and continue offering, but I certainly would not serve what he wants.

After all this i'd give them the walking papers, I know you need the money, but he is obviously grinding on your nerves, and IME when you try despite many warning signs..YOU will feel misrable, and burn out.

[Spixie33]

I have had kids that stressed me out and would make me cringe when I knew they were coming that day. It is normal not to like every one of them - although I try to see the good in every child.

I think it is amazing that you have had this much patience. You deserve an award.
Hitting you, peeing? Is the child developmentally challenged/delayed?

The food situation is stressful enough because having 1 kid say "i don't want that" or "I hate that" makes other kids also reluctant to eat what is there....but I think you have good reason to say you can't do it any more to the parents.

I guess the part that sucks is whether you give 2 weeks notice and whether you are then only saving yourself two weeks of sanity or can you terminate sooner?

I feel your pain - I really do

[Lou]

Oh my gosh- absolutely without a doubt terminate him. That is unacceptable behaviour for a 6 yrs old. I would hand them their notice this evening at pick up- you should not have to be dealing with this! And I know that we usually want to keep the termination letter short and professional, but in this particular case I would be inclined to make a list of reasons why in HOPES that the parents might open their eyes even a tinsy bit.
- Damage to property- urinating on couches and carpets
- Physical abuse to caregiver
- Verbal Abuse to caregiver
- Unwilling to cooperate with daily program

[sunnydays]

Honestly, he would have been gone the first time he hit me! That would have been grounds for an immediate termination without notice. I guess you really have to look at your finances and if you can manage to limp by until September, I would definitely terminate him. In my contract I can terminate without notice if I feel the child is a threat to me or the other kids...I think this kid is! Don't feel bad...it is not your fault!

[kidlove]

WOW! cant believe you have made it this far? Not sure what to say first, I feel bad for you, or Why did you take this kid? I have been in your shoes re: not liking a child you care for and feeling guilty, and no it doesnt mean you are not fit for day care, it means you are normal. BTW (he's not fit for day care) you will get no where with this kid, he's too far gone and the parents arent offering any help. Sounds to me like he needs an evaluation by a doctor possibly. or just get cared for proper (better diet, no more DS, little disipline) but none of tha tis your job. so either grit your teeth and take the payment for next four weeks, or let him go and never take him back. This year is the first year I decided to not take any school age kids, every summer before, I have, and my summers were crazy and out of control. this summer I have had sooooo much peace. I feel for you.

[Littledragon]

OH MY GOD!! Don't feel bad! That would be difficult for ANYONE to deal with. I would honest...let him go. Peeing on your floor is ridiculous, as is punching you. I think the answer is easy here (well, to me anyways because I don't know the whole situation).

I hope you can figure it out because I KNOW how difficult it is to run a daycare when you're not happy with the kids/families you have

[giraffe]

The way I see it is if you wake up in the morning dreading your day because of one particular child then maybe it's time for that child to go. If i were you i would write up a letter of warning and have him gone at the next "incident".

In my books the violence is cause for immediate termination, so he would be GONE

[Momof4]

Oh that's so sad. No matter he's troubled, he has no nutrition in his body besides the food you manage to get him to eat. What is wrong with his parents? We can't like all the children, it's a fact. But it's something I just learned since opening my daycare. I thought all children were inherently lovable - WRONG!!! I've had a couple here that I do not miss at all.

We deserve to be happy and have relatively stress-free days and since we run the business and make the rules we can terminate when things are unacceptable. Another family will fill that space and now you know what to look out for next time.