Terminating a child for no real reason

[Toregone]

The thing that really bothers me is he acts scared of me. Im stern but not mean. When it's nap time I lay him in his playpen with a cuddle and a "good night" and his soother. If he plays around loudly for longer than 5 minutes I come in the room and say "Shh now. It's nap time. Sleep now." and lay him back down. But when I come back in the room he cowers in the corner of his pen.

He often cries for no reason that I can figure out and when I say "Ok, that's enough now. No more crying sweetie" He sucks it up and stops crying but then looks at me with his lip quivering and gulping back sobs. I never yell just use a stern voice. He doesn't even get time outs yet, just redirection.

He sobs at drop off, sobs at pick up. His parents must think he hates it here, and to be honest I kind of do too. He does not seem happy and I'm not happy with the situation. I just keep thinking I can try harder and he'll adjust. It's been 3 months and he had a brief period of good (2 week or so) in the middle but other than that it's been horrible.

Ever since I wrote this yesterday I've been thinking more and more about this child (he's part time and not here today) and something is bothering me. I don't think abuse/neglect at all at home. His parents are super loving and doting and there has never been anything suspisious. I just can't put my finger on what bothers me so much about the entire situation.

I have decided to be completely passive aggressive and raise the moms fees rather than terminate me as I know this will make her leave. She uses more than 25 hours per week (my cut off for part time) and 3 or 4 days on a varying schedule. She only pays part time fees as that was orgionally discussed. I have decided to charge her full time (because she USES IT!) and let her leave. She protests anything even the slightest extra (such as me charging her to open 1.5 hours early to drop off her child, or 45 minute late pick up) so I think either they don't have much money or they are just very tight with it. Either way I'm certian she will leave.

[apples and bananas]

If I were you i would probably feel frustrated that Ive tried everything and this little guy looks at me like I'm from outer space. It may just be that you're not mom. It will probably pass if you leave it long enough, but it's hard to work all day with someone that doesn't like you. Really, that's what's happening. You're forced to work all day with someone that just doesn't seem to like you. (at least that's the way it's coming across) It sounds like you should be raising her fee's regardless. I hope she understands and doesn't take it too hard.

I wish you all the best and I hope you can replace with a family that is amazing! Always another one around the corner.

[mlc1982]

From my experience (as posted) I wouldn't hold off for it to get 'better'. That's what I've done for the past 10 months and it hasn't gotten better. I still get the blank stares every time I ask him to help clean up or put on his shoes. I get the bouncing around at nap time and whining when I ask him to eat something or to stay out of a certain room. He totally freaked out today when mom got to the door and that's a normal occurence lately. For you, it just doesn't sound like a proper fit if you have 'that' feeling.