Helping parents understand

[jec]

I think what has put me on guard is that I didn't meet the Dad until the first day at drop off. I normally meet both but it was the Mom who came for the interview and play dates but Dad who drops off and picks up.
I had a family I had to terminate that I never met the Dad and he turned out to be a real %^&#$@! and last day came to chew me out in my front hall when I home alone with my own kids to drop off final payment.
I think Im on eggshells as he reminds me of him. Moving forward I'm going to just keeping things quick with him at pick up and drop off and limiting how much I tell them. I might even be stressing them out more by giving too much info??

[treeholm]

I think the reason some of the parents can intimidate us is because in order to choose this profession, we have to have a certain level of warmth and caring as personality traits. Those of us with that personality find it difficult to be assertive. I teach assertiveness as part of my third-year university communications course, and it is always the students with the "listener-style" personality profile (according to the personality profile system I developed) who have the biggest problem with assertiveness. I am a "split-personality". I'm very warm with the children (and with my students) but I can be assertive (many students over the years have been shocked to see the personality change when they ask for assignment extensions and get my alter ego LOL).

I guess what I'm saying is there is nothing wrong with any of us who hate confrontation, but we do need to learn the skills necessary to prevent us from being doormats. We're just the kind of people who give and give, and there are others who are happy to take and take... but only if we let them!

[Inspired by Reggio]

My advice moving forward - never sign on a client where you have not met BOTH parents unless it is a single parent and you will never have to deal with the non custodial parent!

As much as it is nice to be flexible it is not always practical in GROUP CARE where you have to make decisions that are best for the GROUP overall.

Also children's needs CHANGE once in group care - they are ofte up earlier to get to daycare verses when home on mat leave and once at care they are more stimulated and engaged and therefore likely to sleep more or different .... parents need to accept that change and work WITH the provider through open communication about what's working in care verses at home!

Life is too short to work with people who do not respect your opinion or trust your judgement and make you feel small - stand tall and proud of your program and ability to meet the children's needs - his choice is to accept that or FIND ALTERNATE CARE!

[Inspired by Reggio]

I agree Treeholm - you can be assertive while still being caring and nurturing - and it is vital to learn to manage both to be successful in business!!!

[jec]

Those who know me, know I have no problem being assertive !!
I`m always learning about my business going into year 3. The way I wanted to run my daycare and the policies I have in place are always evolving with experience with the different families.
The one thing I do miss from working in my office is having co-workers to talk with when you need someone to throw an idea off of- or get a second option that puts things into perspective.

I`m a wee bit sensitive today with a head cold and pms
Just this Dad made me feel like the last family and only that I had to terminate who left on such a bad note and left a bad taste in my mouth.
Your right Reggio- never again. I even mentioned to another provider before accepting this family that I never met the Dad and was uneasy about it and I should have listened to myself and insisted on meeting him before the first day of care. Always trust your gut!!
I learned a few things today, giving too much information isn`t good for either me or the parents. Yes, it`s their little one and I like to work with my parents but they need to trust me but as a Mom of 2...I don`t trust too many with my own
Thanks for the support ladies and the boost I needed ! have a great weekend.

[jec]

oh and nobody can make you feel a certain way, only you can let them. Not easy all the time but the extra boost of confidence and support you ladies gave me helped me see that today

[Momof4]

First of all, I find this really wrong:

Nap time however has been a challange. Her parents have asked me to keep her sleep schedule at home the same here to help with her adjustment to daycare and I have no problem with that

When I am interviewing a family and then signing them on, one of the most important things we discuss is that we have a very busy routine and that I want the new baby to be on our schedule as much as possible. I discuss times with the the parents and meet them in the middle so that the 4 children ALREADY HERE IN DAYCARE are nudged gently toward a time that will fit in with the new baby's afternoon nap. If the new baby still needs a morning nap then I ask the parents to try to get them in the habit of napping at the time they will be in the stroller while we walk to the park. It's a COMPROMISE! But we are BOTH working on making things easier for ALL the children.

As you can probably tell, this makes me quite angry for you. There is no way I would allow a man like that to treat me badly in my own home and you should NOT let it happen! If he interrupts you next time, give him a glare and say Excuse me! You won't be the one being rude, it's him!

You have to tell these parents that you are caring for ALL the children and you are a super busy woman and YOU run the business and make the schedule and for the HEALTH of the children mealtimes and naptimes should be consistent day by day, yes, but they are with us 5 days a week and at home 2 days a week, so of course their little bodies are tuned to OUR schedules!!! Arghhhh!

[jec]

Just wanted to give you ladies an update ~
I got a thank you from these parents for putting up with them as it was their stress of their little one going into daycare was getting to them.
they are open to my sleep schedule and easing the little one into it.

Thank you for the advice and you really did help empower me to stick to my guns and help out that back bone ( which is strange as in any other situation, I have no problem speaking my mind....I can be a bit outspoken if the truth be told ) I am really thankful to have you as a sounding board ...and another board I was seeking some advice on too. Your all like my co-workers!!
I really believe that it's not black and white in this business. Yes, it is our business and we have to stick to our policies and keep things professional. Keeping in mind though that our 'product' are families and kids-not a box on a shelf. Although this was a tough start, I still believe working with the parents to ease the little one in is best for the little one and can be tiring for the first week. It will however, down the road lead to a better, in my experience, working relationship and respect with the families.

I din't get an apology for this fellow being rude but, looking at it from the persective of how stressed he was for his little one starting daycare. We've all been there with our own kids for one situation or another. I won't however let him speak to me like that again moving forward. I free pass only

Just my 2 cents but wanted to let you know about the nice email i got from them.....and thanks again for listening and being supportive - I love these little faces!!

[Momof4]

A thank you is worth a million bucks, isn't it? I know it really makes my day. I'm happy for you jec.

[Inspired by Reggio]

I agree a sincere thank you can go a VERY long way with dealing with a child's challenging behaviors and a spouses moody tones and hopefully they will be better in the future for sure!