Ok...the 2.5 year old first: I have a nephew who is the VERY same way. I have been doing daycare for a long time and had some kids that are similar but never this bad. If he wasnt family I think I would have thrown in the towel, so "kudos" to you for sticking it out. I know she is prbly the cutest little thing in the world, but to me it sounds like she might know it. is her mom a stay home mommy? or just a "cottler" or perhaps just the oposite? maybe she has separation issues, because mom works too much? hmmmm. either way, you need to "re-build" this sweet girl from the ground up, and it will take alot of patience and quite a bit of time. you need to inch her naps longer and longer, by reminding her to go back to sleep or just letting her cry it out, until she realizes she has no choice. you have to leave her at the table and get her to eat alone, its just crazy to think she will only eat while on your lap. sounds like she want ALOT of attention ALL DAY LONG!!!! obviously you know whats good for her. maybe she needs an extra nap in the afternoon? The one thing I have kearned about little ones like this is: you cant allow them to manipulate your day, you have to do the oposite....you have to manipulate their wants to YOUR day. in the end EVERYONE will be happier, including the child. bottom line though....the parents have to be willing to work with you, this includes pos changing the way they are doing things at home, sounds to me she gets what she wants a little too much!