Yup when you have been in this field long enough I think you have to learn to balance that level of attachment to the children otherwise your heart is constantly breaking ... in centre care when I was a 'newbie' I cultivated relationships with some clients whom I STILL keep in contact with via pen pal and cards and so forth and their kids are graduating from University and starting families ~ makes me feel old! It was common to be 'crying' every time a kid moved up to the next room. However as I grew in the field I rarely allowed myself to continue to get attached to anyone one child and kept that emotional distance because the turnover rate was just so high and it was too hard .... families came and went based on loosing their subsidy or other criteria and often with little or no notice or closure which sucked! Plus the way centre care work you tend to only have a child between six months to a year tops before they move up to the 'next age group' and you have about 15 - 24 children depending on the age group you work with and you share them with 3 other staff in your room so it is just 'different' how relationship develop in that setting .... it just always seemed like you were spending your time preparing for them to 'graduate' to the next group instead of focusing on enjoying them 'in the moment' that you had them so the focus was always on 'they are leaving soon' and it made it easier to stop yourself from investing in emotional connection other than what was needed to 'meet their immediate needs' so to speak!

I find it harder being at home to maintain that level of 'emotional distance' ... most of my crew come to me at 10-12 months and stay with me until they are in school full time and unlike in centre care where there are many providers it is just ME meeting their needs day in and day out and you see the parents day in and day out you do not miss a drop off or pick up because you were 'on break' or anything .... I have kids graduating this year who've been with me since I opened 5 years ago and while they might be frustrating little souls sometimes and so forth you cannot help but form a deeper relationship with someone you spend 5 days a week with almost 10 hours a day so while there might be 'aspects' of them I will not miss when they are gone I know they are 'in my heart' somewhere and that for years to come I will still remember them with fondness even if there parent does not help them to keep a relationship going with me or those in the program.

I have been lucky though with being home all my clients have been pretty awesome people whom I shared a lot in common with ~ while they were enrolled I kept any relationship professional but those who have moved on whom I am still in contact with either through FB or through play dates or we have developed hobbies or social interactions that overlap over the course of those years together which allow us to keep in contact now that we no longer have that
'professional' relationship status to keep as a barrier. I also have had several clients whose children have become friends outside of daycare so they have play dates and so forth ~ it is definitely different level of relationship that is built for sure.