No listening to simple commands

[apples and bananas]

I have 2 children at the 18 month mark. Child A is a good listener, she follows basic commands like "stop" "clean up" "come over here" "please put that down" etc. Child B follows nothing. He doesn't stop (or run faster) when I call him. When we start to clean up, he sees that as time to take things out of the toy bins, I'm seeing no basic listening commands at all. He's a great child though. Very calm, very loving, not aggressive at all.

The other thing that concerns me is that when I come down to his level to speak to him he can't look me in the eye for any length of time. His eyes dart all over the place.

i'm wondering if there might be something there that's concerning... or maybe he's just a late bloomer. There is the whole boy/girl difference too.

Anyone else have the same issues?

[Momof4]

I can only thank you once but I would like to thank you a million times apples! I have the same boy right here making my days long and difficult. I've been suspecting and reading a lot about Asperger's Syndrome. Google and read up on it because it sounds like it could be the problem. But be very careful about saying anything like that to the parents. You are not alone in your frustration! I'm right there with ya.

[jec]

My friend has her little guy go to a daycare center. They pulled her in for a meeting to say that they felt that they felt based on their experience with the different kids in their care(they are not Dr's) that they felt her son was on the spectrum of Autism. Now my friend already has a son who has Autism so she took this very serious and it turned their world upside down. They did take him in to get assessed and it turns out the Dr (who also told them their other son has Autism ) said that this little guy is so far from the spectrum of having Autism. He is bright (as Autism has nothing really to do with intelligence ) but he is just developing different than her other 2 sons. He will catch up and that he has a speech delay which affected other aspects of his life.
Be careful what you say to parents. If your bringing up concerns-choose your words carefully.
I get your frustration too as I have one little guy I posted about the past weeks past about as I thought he might have some developmental delays and not showing 'normal' signs thinking that he might be on the spectrum but....I'm not a Doctor and based on what the daycare my friend's son goes to ..'with all their experience with so many children', got it wrong.

Good luck ~ something to think about

[Momof4]

I wanted to mention that some of the other caregivers I see on playdates feel that my little daycare guy is perfectly normal, but I'm the one who spends every day all day with annoying little quirks. It's too bad that the little things pile up one on top of another and another and another until we feel like we want to scream a bit. I guess it's a fine line between an annoying personality in a child and a physical problem.

[jec]

I hear ya ....it can be frustrating when simple requests for a little one at a certain age- can't follow directions every day, all day can make you want to scream. That's what you have us for as a sounding board....and wine at the end of the day

[apples and bananas]

Thank you for your feedback. I will not say anything to the parents. All kids develop differently. it's hard to seperate them when you see them developing together every day. I'm working on him focusing on one thing for very short periods of time and repeating a lot of directions I give so hopefully he will catch on soon. It's just so frustrating to have someone act like they can't even hear you and it's not him refusing to do the request. It's almost as if he still doesn't understand simple words like ... stop... wait... slow down.. walk... run... down...

UGH! Oh well, we work with what we have.

[jec]

You never know, you could be right? If you feel that you want to talk to them about things- make it more of something that you want to work together with them to figure out a way to help him listen as he isn't listening to you at daycare.See what they say, it might open up their mind if they see that someone else sees that there is a problem with following instructions or you may find that things at home are too relaxed and he does what ever he wants at home and that could also be an indication of why he is the way he is.....???

[Littledragon]

ummm do you have my 16 month old? mine is two months younger but he's EXACTLY the same way! I put him on time out for touching something he wasn't supposed to. When I took him off time out, he walked right over there. Time out again. After time out, same thing. When I ask him to come to me, he walks half way and then turns around and goes the other way. When we clean up, he takes everything out! Even my 13 month old helps us clean up! He doesn't listen to ANYTHING I say...actually, he does respond to TA TA, but I think it's more of a game to him than anything else. But he does always look so proud of himself when he gives it to me - like he's happy he finally understood something! lol

I have NO advice, but I am thankful someone else has a child as frustrating as mine lol he is a good kid, really adorable and affectionate but DOES NOT listen to basic commands! Frustrating!

Just a thought: In my situation, I mostly chalk it up to his parents. They let him do whatever he wants. When she picks him up, she says "Are you ready?" If he doesn't come to her, she says, "No? Okay, maybe in a few minutes." She was like that when he was younger too. At 11 months, she would ASK him if she could change his diaper. Honestly, it was like a 10 minutes ordeal! Waiting till he was "ready". Maybe your little one just dones't HAVE to listen at home. Maybe he thinks it's a kind of game....

[Littledragon]

Thank you for your feedback. I will not say anything to the parents. All kids develop differently. it's hard to seperate them when you see them developing together every day. I'm working on him focusing on one thing for very short periods of time and repeating a lot of directions I give so hopefully he will catch on soon. It's just so frustrating to have someone act like they can't even hear you and it's not him refusing to do the request. It's almost as if he still doesn't understand simple words like ... stop... wait... slow down.. walk... run... down...

UGH! Oh well, we work with what we have.

Sorry, I should have read this before. Mine is like that too. If he has his back to me, it's like he can't hear me. For a while, I thought maybe he just didn't hear me or didn't understand. But one day, I caught him smiling while his back was turned. He was maybe 14 months. Ohhh I was mad. He was playing me. I have a feeling yours may be doing that. At 18 months, he definitely should understand these simple commands. My 13 month old does. Whether he chooses to follow them is a different story. JMO

[sunnydays]

I have an 18 month old who doesn't seem to understand most basic commands...but he is slow on all levels...not walking, not feeding himself with a spoon etc. People think he is about 10 months old when they see him. But he is so sweet, non-agressive, sleeps well, and generally happy, so he doesn't frustrate me at all. I just see him as younger than the other 18 month olds in my care and we get on fine that way. He makes eye contact and is social, so autism would not be in my thoughts...just slower to develop...but I think he will catch up one day.