Hands Down pants!!!!!!!!!!?

[sunnydays]

Reggio...thank you for having the courage to post such personal experiences...I am so sorry that you had to endure such terrible things as a child. I believe you are right and I thank you for reminding us all that we write on the walls of who these kids are every day....everything we say and do has an effect of some kind and we should all stop and think about this every day and try to do our best to make sure we are having a postive effect. I also have a child in my daycare who likes to put his hands or blanket under him when he sleeps and who also rubs himself against things at times and although it does make me feel uncomfortable, I have never said anything to him about it as I figure it isn't my place and he is just experimenting. I have grappled with it though as I never wanted his parents to think he learned it somehow from daycare! I think that was my main concern! However, i certainly wouldn't want to shame a child for soing what feels good to them...I do believe they do it for this reason and they do not think of it in the same way as adults do at all...to them it is the same as any other thing that gives pleasure or feels good...children don't have the inhibitions adults have.

[daycarewhisperer]

Thanks jec for your response, I will try daycarewhisperer's idea of the zipper footie pj's on backwards. thats a good idea.

Just remember..... if Mama aint happy then nobody is happy. Make Mama happy first. If Mama no likey then it's a no go. Your house your rules. We don't have to serve EVERY single aspect of childhood when they are under our roof. Even if it IS normal then this normal can be done somewhere else. You don't have to have any other opinion then you don't like it so it's a no. No fuss no muss. Just a no will do.

The jammies will need to be fitted pretty well so that's there isn't a lot of give at the shoulders. She may try to pull her arm through the arm hole and put it downwards if they are big on her. You should't have any problems tho cuz the current available footed jammies pretty much run slim (narrow from armpit to armpit....... around eleven inches for size fours) The new jammies are flame and fire retardant and are made to fit snuggly.

If you don't get this stopped you are most likely gonna have a humper. If she gets too much "consulation" with rubbing with her hands she will most likely move to rubbing herself on furniture. That's what's coming so deal with it now while she's young enough to learn that it's okay not to soothe herself THAT way.

[Inspired by Reggio]

....If you don't get this stopped you are most likely gonna have a humper. If she gets too much "consulation" with rubbing with her hands she will most likely move to rubbing herself on furniture. That's what's coming so deal with it now while she's young enough to learn that it's okay not to soothe herself THAT way.

Ironic for someone who has 'never seen this in 32 years' and a claim it is not normal childhood behavior despite glaring medical research in the early years field to the contrary and on accredited sites such as research hospitals .... now all of a sudden you are flipping to have a good enough grasp of the progression masturbation might take and the need to nip it in the bud before it becomes a 'problem' like humping furniture .... so which is it this is something you have never seen and it is not normal or this is documented enough in childhood to have 'progressions' :rolleye:

And while I agree that it is your home and your rules and that there is a time and a place for it ... so if you want to send the message to the child that is something you do AT HOME fine and dandy ~ just saying make sure the PARENT is a part of the solution and that you are CAREFUL in how you are portraying the message to the child as to why they should not do it 'at your home' to keep their sexuality in tact cause while it might not be 'your cup of tea' it is their innate human nature to 'enjoy' touching that area of the body and we have to also respect that!

[daycarewhisperer]

Ironic for someone who has 'never seen this in 32 years' and a claim it is not normal childhood behavior despite glaring medical research in the early years field to the contrary and on accredited sites such as research hospitals .... now all of a sudden you are flipping to have a good enough grasp of the progression masturbation might take and the need to nip it in the bud before it becomes a 'problem' like humping furniture .... so which is it this is something you have never seen and it is not normal or this is documented enough in childhood to have 'progressions' :rolleye:

And while I agree that it is your home and your rules and that there is a time and a place for it ... so if you want to send the message to the child that is something you do AT HOME fine and dandy ~ just saying make sure the PARENT is a part of the solution and that you are CAREFUL in how you are portraying the message to the child as to why they should not do it 'at your home' to keep their sexuality in tact cause while it might not be 'your cup of tea' it is their innate human nature to 'enjoy' touching that area of the body and we have to also respect that!

Okay so I'll take your word for it that it's normal. It doesn't matter either way. If the provider doesn't like it they don't have to host it. Plain and simple. We don't have to serve every childhood normal behavior. It's our house and our rules and if we don't want a kid with their hands down their pants then we can just say no to THAT behavior. No need to talk to the kid or explain that it can or can't be done here or there. Just block it and be done with it. Simple clothing fix.

I don't host fixations I don't like. I definitely do not want my three year old or four year old kids going home and telling thier parents that another kid is putting hand down or rubbing their private area during nap. Bad for public relations regardless of whether or not it is normal or not. This is a GROUP of kids and the child is in PUBLIC when they are in that group.

No need to debate whether or not it's normal. I personally don't think it is but it doesn't matter either way. Only question is "do you offer that service" or do you not? I don't offer that service here. I want the kids to keep their hands out of their pants. That's the service I feel comfortable offering.

[jec]

Okay so I'll take your word for it that it's normal.

We need to respect each other here and Reggio feels strongly about it for personal reasons where she was strong enough to post. You don't have to agree but reading the posts back and forth, I think you can get your point across without being condescending

[kidlove]

Thanks daycarewhisperer. I do believe exactly what you said "if it doesnt stop I could have a "humper"". I dont think ANY childs exploration is unnatural, a child has an "inoccence" because they know no better! It is up to us, the smarter of the two to show them...some things they choose to do may not be the right choice. I do believe you can re-direct a child out of a "bad habit" like touching themself in a positive and un hurting way. I believe firmly that if you allow a small action to take place you are opening a giant window for the BIG stuff that will evolve from it. It is human nature to start little and soon "little" is not enough. Bigger,bigger and bigger. I dont think this child has any other idea but "comfort" right now, but in 6 months sshe may begin exploring farther, another six monthes farther and before you know it she very well could be experimenting way too far beyond her understanding. We cant allow children to go along doing as they please all the time, that is similar to saying: "Johnny is just exploring" when he climbs to the top of the balcony and jumps (we are protecting him and teaching him, by stopping him) It is the same reason I took the playhouse away when I found out the kids were "smooching" on the cheek in there....first comes the cheeck smooch, then....? and after that....? I will do whatever it takes to protect these children from "growing up too fast" or getting involved in too much they cant understand. Thats just how I feel. I go with my instincts when raising these kids and my own and there are times I get a "red flag"...I wouldn't be doing my job if I ignore it!

[kidlove]

we apparently have two dif points of view, yay!!!! thats the glory of human nature, God gave us the ability to choose how we feel. I dont think this needs to become a "real big" issue. Reggio obviously has a strong opinion regarding the normalcy of these acts, as others have the opinion that perhaps exploring is "normal" but we do have the "freedom" to choose what happens in our own daycares. If reggio or others choose to allow a child to go into a room and "masturbate" for personal pleasure and feel that act is natural, that is THEIR STANCE and "freedom" to choose how to feel about that subject. Others dont feel it is the right choice for their in home daycare for what ever reasons, thats okay too. We al have the freedom to choose, thats why we run our own business from our own home, so we can choose what the children do and how the children grow.

[Crayola kiddies]

Well it is a "natural act" and everybody has done it at some point in their life and if you say you haven't ... Well.... Your not telling the truth..... Now while I wouldn't allow a child to sit on my couch or lay in the middle of my play room and pleasure themselves but what they do in the playpen by themselves while going to sleep is up to them. Now I believe soothers and thumb sucking are vile habits but I have one child that sucks her thumb and plays with her hair while going to sleep .... Should I tie her hands behind her back?

[daycarewhisperer]

We need to respect each other here and Reggio feels strongly about it for personal reasons where she was strong enough to post. You don't have to agree but reading the posts back and forth, I think you can get your point across without being condescending

Oh I didn't mean that in a disrepectful tone. I can take her word for it that it's normal. I believe she believes that and that the science she brings forth fits in with her belief.

When discussing this particular issue, it doesn't matter to me whether it is normal or not. I see a ton of normal behavior in children that I don't like. I see normal behavior in adults I don't like too. So at my house I decide what normal I will host and what normal I won't host. I decide whether I provide the service to host every aspect of normal within the child and adult population I serve. My roof my rules.

[kidlove]

okay crayola kiddies, that is a silly comparison, does the child have a butt on her head? no dont tie her hand behind her back if she touches her hair. I think I am again done with this post, I started the post for a simple "idea" to help me cope with an "issue" that I chose not to have take place in MY daycare. I did not intend for it to open a debate on what is or isnt proper behavior, I think ONCE AGAIN something has been "twisted" to create some kind of "frustration" here...that was not my intent for the post, just needed simple advice from those who might feel the same way I do regarding a small childs "bad" habit. (IMO only) it is silly to see where this has headed. thankyou for the good advice, and the backup from those who feel the same way I do, and good luck to those who dont. thank you thank you thank you!!!!