Hands Down pants!!!!!!!!!!?

[crafty]

I have to agree with Reggio and all the others with this. Especialy about sending the message to the child that it is a 'dirty' thing but also to ensure we are teaching them it is a private act that belongs to her.

[kidlove]

Reggio: I really think this is not a "sensation" thing, she is not old enough to have any sexual sensation, I do believe she is placing her hand in a warm and comfy spot just as a pocket or in their warm hair on their head. I just feel that it is a little dirty especially concidering she wears a diaper, her hand could come out with urine or fecies on it. I do explain to her that her butt is dirty and it is icky to put her hand down there. I dont ridicule her. I do think that children may "explore" as they develope in life and that is for us as parents to handle with our own children. Not sure if I would allow them to have "their way" in a private place and suggest washing up after though. But as I said, that would really be up to a parent to handle with their own child as they choose. When I see a child pick their nose I also inform them they are not to do that at my house, they are welcome to go to the bathroom and blow their nose with tissue and then wash hands. I inform them if they are allowed to at home, that is fine. but not at my house.

[Play and Learn]

Reggio: I really think this is not a "sensation" thing, she is not old enough to have any sexual sensation, I do believe she is placing her hand in a warm and comfy spot just as a pocket or in their warm hair on their head.

But they do. They're learning about themselves, and it 'feels' good.

[kidlove]

Play and learn: i do understand that some children will explore these areas due to a sensation of such nature, but I DO think she just has a comfy place to put her hand, it it ussually placed in the front of her diaper not to her "private" area.........this is getting a little misconstrued, my concern is: how to give her something else to do rather than place her hand on her "lower abdomine" IN HER DIAPER, where it is dirty.

[kidlove]

Reggio: so sorry those things had to happen to you. Just typing the words can't relay to you my sincerest and deapest sorrow for you as a child and young adult to dp through those things. No human should have to experience any of those things and I am so sorry for your pain. I wish I had never posted this question, it really was a very basic question on some things I could show her to do rather than to put her hand in her diaper. I by no means treat her "with severe negative responses" I do however respond to seeing her hand in her diaper as a icky place to put her hands. I also dont feel it is my job to teach ANY child about the "birds and the bees" if I EVER have a situation which needs adult addressing I talk to the parent in private and leave it at that. ( I have had to inform the children before, that what they do at home may not be okay to do at my house, and that falls under the dont do at my house list) I have had to talk to a group of youngsters who all decided to kiss (on cheeks) in the play house, I had a little one putting her socks down her undies durring nap time, I have had a 7 yr old hide behind my couch with her hand in her undies, I have had another little girl inform the rest of the kids she was molested by her brother, I also had a 6 yr old tell another child that she had sex with her boyfriend. These are all things that I have taken in stride and taken a deep breath.......and given to the parents. I did make the playhouse off limits after the kissing, I did ask the 7 year old to please wash her hands, and save it for home. I did call child protective services with the molested girl (after informing the parents) I did talk to the young girl (with the socks) mother re: her new place to hide her socks. I would NEVER treat a child like they were a terrible person, or ridicule them to "personal disgust". I am a very pro-active parent with my own children, we have the safe touch talks and explain to them if they ever feel uncomfortable with any other person re: touch or talk, they can do whatever is nec. to help themselves get out of that sit. this is why sleepovers are VERY few and far between and ONLY with people we know well and trust and even then......we still watch and ask. We are the kind of parents who trust NO ONE. the good Lord gave us one child to protect and save from harm and all it takes is 1 second to ruine a child. I feel so deeply for you reggio, and hope you will continue to heal. God does nothing by accident, you are beautiful to him, scarred or unscarred barren or with child. You clearly do a great job with the children you care for and am sure you are a blessing to all of them. Not to mention I am a firm believer in learning from your experiences, perhaps you will save a child from the very same thing that happened to you....if you havent already. God bless you Reggio you have strength most people may never know.

[kidlove]

I guess I was more interested in things I can do or have her do to keep from putting her hands into her pants, i.e. was thinking of some sort of pocketed thing that will keep her hands warm and give her that same "safe" feeling that I think she is getting from having her hand where she puts it now. or another idea anyone may have used or thought up to deal with a situation like this.

[Inspired by Reggio]

For those who would like 'medical research' around how NORMAL this is

http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/masturb.htm

How do children learn about masturbation?
No one has to teach a child to explore his or her genitals. It provides a feeling of pleasure, that once discovered, the child will most likely repeat. There have even been studies of prenatal ultrasounds revealing male fetuses doing it.

Most often, however, boys find their penises accidentally, possibly during a diaper change around six to seven months of age and become curious (just like their fascination with other parts of their bodies, such as fingers, toes and ears). Some child psychologists think that boys who have seen a naked girl may be fearful that they could lose their penis and end up looking like the girl. However, no one can be sure of what these toddlers are thinking.

Girls often don’t discover their vulva (female external genitalia) until about ten to eleven months of age. They may even insert objects into their vaginas as a matter of curiosity—much like the beans and small toys children of this age like to put into their noses and ears.

Genital play in both sexes can also take the form of rubbing with hands or rubbing against other objects such as a pillow, stuffed animal or the bed. Often the child will be found staring, flushed, with an absent look on their faces, breathing fast or irregularly while masturbating. The behavior generally increases with boredom, sleepiness or stress in the child’s life. It is important to remember that children do not generally associate this activity with sexuality or adult relationships until much later in childhood, more toward puberty. This is reassuring to some parents who are alarmed by their child’s behavior. Genital play is often used simply as a form of self-comfort.

You can google and find LOTS of resources on how to promote healthy sexuality with your own children as well as how to handle it in an 'education' setting when you are not the primary caregiver to the child .... like anything in our field it is our job to educate ourselves on normal child development and make sure we are engaged in best practice with the children we are caring for .... everything we need to know is available with a little reading and life long learning!