I can't give a lot of advice, but I did just read a thing Nestle sent me about problem eaters. They say that if they're not eating, 15 minutes MAX. That children who DO eat shouldn't take more than 20 minutes to eat, that's the norm time for most kids that eat normally. If a child is refusing to eat, making them sit there for longer than 15-20 minutes is actually feeding into it. That if they haven't eaten anything after 15 minutes, remove them from the table. Stop give her milk and juice. Only feed give her water at intervals in the day (everything is scheduled here because I have 4 kids who still drink out of sippie cups and pass them back and forth) They get water with their first snack, milk half way through their lunch and water at second snack (and I bring water outside with me and they only get if they ask for it. I will give them the cup if they haven't drank, but they're not allowed to take it with them). She should only be allowed to eat what everyone else is eating, and if she doesn't want to, tough. My 16 month old went through a phaze where he wouldn't eat, and it WAS problems at home, like you said. He was drinking upwards of 30 oz of milk a day! I actually just sent home a letter explaining how detrimental to his health this could be and I took away his milk. He is only allowed to have milk once a day and not until he's finished 3/4 of his meal. It took a few weeks, but he quickly caught on. Now he eats like a champ! I am amazed at his progress! It's not something that you are going to be able to fix alone. She will eventually understand that what works at home doesn't work at daycare but you have to stop offering her options. There are no options and if she doesn't want to eat, then she doesn't eat. There is no sense in fighting it because you won't. Guaranteed.

Good luck!!