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I totally agree in letting a child in need cry for hours could be harmfull however in some instances like for sleep trainning I think it is necessary. We need to remind aoursefls and truly understand what and why we are leaving. Sleeping is AS imporant as eating or breathing. However this does not come as naturally because we all have very busy days naps and schedules do get interupted and it is easy for a young child to get into bad sleeping habits. I do beleive it is important for our child to know that we will be there for them and give them that security but I also beleive it is our job to teach them good and healthy habits and giving them self confidence. You are not just letting you child cry at night ..You are teaching him to sleep, you are showing him that he CAN do it by himself and that he IS secure. By doing that and ensuring he has a good sleeping habits, you are letting is immune system, brain development, body everything recharge ang give him better chance at everything. I beleive this is part of the parents job as well and at 11 month old, a child is totally ready to understand that and need 12 hours sleep at night plus naps during the day. You can do it anyway you want it but teaching your shild to slepp by himself is the best thing you can do for her.
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The Following User Says Thank You to crafty For This Useful Post:
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Starting to feel at home...
I think a book that is the best of both worlds is one called the Sleep Easy Solution. There's nothing wrong with babies crying. But it's the length of time that's in dispute among people. Most people don't like the idea of leaving babies to cry for hours on end and I can understand that too. What this book recommends is that yes, you do have to teach your baby how to sleep. And it may be necessary to leave her to figure it out, but just for a few minutes at a time. So basically, you leave her to sleep, she starts crying, but instead of just ignoring her for hours, you go in at 5 minutes, 10 minutes and then at 15 minute intervals to comfort her and let her know "yes, I understand that you don't like this, and that you're not used to this, but for your sake (and mine), you need to learn how to go to sleep. I love you and I'm here for you." You're not necessarily saying all this to her, but your presence assures her that you know what you're doing.
This is the method that worked best for us and a few other people that I know as well. I wasn't willing to let her cry for hours, but at the same time, I knew she was crying because she just wanted to go to sleep the way she was used to - with me holding and rocking her and crying was her way of telling me she wasn't impressed with the new method. lol.
Anyway, all the best with whatever you decide.
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The Following User Says Thank You to jazmic For This Useful Post:
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Euphoric !
with most kids (most kids! ) you will notice when trying to re-train (after an ill-ness/spoiled period) or just train (coming into daycare and not having solid nap pattern) they will have "trickle" down response to napping at the time of YOUR choosing! The first day they will cry for 1 hour then lay down or fall asleep, the second day 45 min, the third 30 min and so on, until they LEARN that time is nap time, and they are "programmed" to follow through. BUT, you cant give in, if you do...you risk starting all over!!!!!!
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The Following User Says Thank You to kidlove For This Useful Post:
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Euphoric !
I also have had to go in the room, (not talking to the child) and put my hand right in the middle of their back, not forcing them down but holding them still and adding a little pat or rub to let them feel comfort but also send the message of "lay still". this works well if the child is one of those "screamers" who seems to have more "will" than the average. If you gently force them to lay still they most often will relax and fall asleep quite quickly. otherwise this type of child will do their best to do anything but lay down let alone be quiet. I have a nephew I care for who has been known to stand and cry at the rail of the crib until he slumps over and falls asleep in mid cry while standing, he is a VERY STRONG WILLED child in every area of his life.
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The Following User Says Thank You to kidlove For This Useful Post:
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When I have a new child transitioning or an established child going through a phase I sit right beside them and keep reminding them to be quiet for their sleeping friends or in the case of a baby lay them down again and again. They learn soon enough that I'm right there and I'm not going to let them stand up. So far, I've had all great nappers after an initial session such as this sometimes, but it has worked for me. Also, all 5 of my children are in two rooms so I have to be diligent and on duty like this so all the children get enough sleep.
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The Following User Says Thank You to Momof4 For This Useful Post:
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I have found that generally if you go into the room when the child is crying they think you are coming to get them and when you leave again they cry harder so I don't think going in helps I find it just makes it worse.
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Crayola kiddies For This Useful Post:
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I agree with Crayola that it's tougher on them when you go into the room as they think your coming to get them.
Have you tried some white noise? Ocean sounds, fan or music?
My own experience as a Mom seems to have been lucky as both our kids napped no problem. My daycare kids I had to learn to let them cry it out for a bit until they got used to our routine. I agree with jazmic that you have a find a happy medium and not letting them cry for too long.
It's not easy being a Mom and the little ones don't come out with a instruction book on what works best for them. Good luck on the advice that the ladies gave you and try the white noise...hopefully that helps ease your little one
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The Following User Says Thank You to jec For This Useful Post:
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Being consistent is the key
Good luck!!
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The Following User Says Thank You to jec For This Useful Post:
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I think consistency will work over time. Just a question about when you are putting her down for her nap. Is she at all tired at this time? I would try having her stay up a bit longer and then try putting her down for her nap. Usually by this age they should be able to stay up for at least 2 hours, if not more, before needing a morning nap. Maybe its time for you to wean her onto one nap a day?
What ever you end up doing, good luck!
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The Following User Says Thank You to Bookworm For This Useful Post:
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Starting to feel at home...
Thanks Bookworm, She seems to be tired. She yawns, has bags under her eyes and tugs at her ear (not an ear infection, she has been checked and her pediatrician said it's because she is tired). When I bring her up to her room she starts rubbing her eyes and puts her head on my shoulder. Also, before the teething/cold I was putting her down 1.5hrs after she woke up and she went down easily.
You could be right though. I can always give cutting out the morning nap a try. I don't think it could hurt. lol
"If we all could see the world through the eyes of a child, we would see the magic in everything!" - Chee Vai Tang
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