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  1. #1
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    Parent expecting you to find replacement

    So Thursday night, around 9pm, my son woke up crying. When I went in to soothe him, he felt really warm. I panicked and took his temperature, it was 104! My husband was out of town, would be until Friday night, so I just took him to the ER. It came out of nowhere and came on quickly and it made me really nervous. After being at the ER for 2 hours, and still not even having seen a triage nurse yet, I decided to close the daycare the following day. One family wasn't even coming, and one is on holidays so I knew it wouldn't be an issue to keep their son home. I sent around a text (usually I call, but it was almost midnight and I chose to text so that if they woke up in the middle of the night they would see it, or they would get it first thing in the morning). We got home around 3 in the morning, not having found the source of the fever. I woke up around 6:30 to 3 texts from one of my new moms, saying she hoped my son would feel better and asked if my cousin was available (My cousin sometimes comes over to help me and I have used her for a few hours if I have a Dr's appointment or something. I rarely close if I don't have to and my husband always stays home to take care of my son if he is contagious.) I said she had to work, as she does have a full time job, and my husband was out of town. I didn't have a choice but to close. With a fever of 104, I need to think about the needs of my son, as well, I didn't want to transfer anything to the other kids if it were something conatgious. If a dck came with a fever or 104, I would immediately send him or her home.
    Anyways, so mom says (at 5:30am) I just got your text and I am on my way to work. I wasn't given sufficient notice to find a replacement. Is there anyone you could transfer him to?

    First of all, it states in my policies that I will inform the parents ASAP. But I usually leave it till early next morning in case he gets better during the night. Dad doesn't go to work till 10am, so I"m not sure why they didn't have enough time, or why one of them couldn't take the day off. It's none of my business why they couldn't take the day off, but I was a little peeved that she said she hadn't received sufficient notice when she got the text at 5 and her hubby didn't go to work till 10, and even more peeved that she expected me to find her a replacement.

    What do you all think of this? Being expected to find a replacement sitter?

  2. #2
    Euphoric ! Inspired by Reggio's Avatar
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    Ummmm WOW ya that attitude would not fly here ~ one of the longest part of my contract reviews is 'daycare closures and emergency back up plan' and making sure that clients know that they need to have a back plan of their own of someone who can care for their child for them OR a work environment that is supportive of calling in sick last minute cause that is the reality of 'home based childcare' is that we work alone and if we are down for the count than there is nothing we can do about it sometimes!

    Like you I always TRY to give clients as much notice as possible about an adult family member subbing for me while I go to an appointment or what not but if I or a family member who live in my house are SICK than the daycare is CLOSING because A) who wants a house full of other peoples children running around when they are sick cause that is NOT conducive to recuperation and B) why would I want to expose the other children to whatever we are brewing by having them here in the house where even if we are in another room the 'air' is circulated through to the entire house and most germs are air born in someway ????

    I have not had to close due to 'illness' very often but both times there was next to NO notice cause sadly I had NO NOTICE myself .... either woke up at 4 am to the sudden urge to vomit and another time where I went down for the count after having opened already without any notice just one minute feeling fine next minute I am throwing up and between vomiting tossing the TV on and telling the kids to sit on the couch and not move while putting the infant in a high chiar ans I ran for the bathroom between tasks and called parents between explosions ... so they got a phone call that was COME NOW and every single one of them or someone from their family was here within 15 minutes of being called ~ cause that is what is expected.

    Call me a bitch but for decades I had to deal with the stress of calling in sick in centre care and bosses being 'pissed off' cause of the inconvenience it caused them to have to get a supply and so forth that I decided I would be damned if I was going to be made to feel the same way in my own HOME .... so I actually tell people during the interview process / contract signing when taling about closures is that calling to tell clients I have to close the daycare is stressful enough for me and the financial hit that it is going to cause me being 'sick' often because I have caught something a daycare child has brought into the house so that the last thing I want to have added to the stress of doing so is the frustration of the client saying 'oh crap your timing sucks' or 'Oh can I send him for a couple hours I have a meeting and I do not have a back up plan' and to please note that IF I ever hear anything like that when I have to close it will be the last time you have to worry about me closing cause service will be OVER and I will be suggesting you try a 'centre' where you do not have to worry about closures and back up plans
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

  3. #3
    Euphoric ! mimi's Avatar
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    LittleDragon, next time ask your child to give you a little notice when he is going to be sick! Anyone with children knows a child can get sick in a moment. It happened to me this week. 2 dck's were great all day. Near closing, waiting for parents, both came down with 103 temperatures with in 10 minutes of each other. Thankfully their parents came a few minutes later. Should I have requested from the parents some notice that this was going to happen?There are some true narcisstic people out there!
    Reggio how true about lack of sympathy regarding your sick days. Like you,they rarely happen and only when it's a sudden onset of the body eliminating fluids. I usually work through most everything else and have had parents say "ohh you don't look well" Then tell me to take care and have a great day as they leave sans child.

  4. #4
    jec
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    Did you reply to her text about not being given enough time? I think that response deserves a well thought out response to let her know that as per your contract it states that you give parents ASAP notice of the daycare closing and you did just that. You need to address that it is up to her to find other care if you the daycare is closed. I try to keep my written communication between daycare families and myself business and keep personal out. If you did reply to her text, I think a follow up memo so there are no further misunderstandings.
    I'm guessing that it's probably stress related as maybe she had something big going on a work but - there is NO reason for her to say that and make you feel bad THEN expect you to find a replacement. She forgot to put her sensitivity chip in when getting ready for the day!!
    I hope your son is feeling better and don't let her stress you out when you already have your hands full with your little one

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by jec View Post
    Did you reply to her text about not being given enough time? I think that response deserves a well thought out response to let her know that as per your contract it states that you give parents ASAP notice of the daycare closing and you did just that. You need to address that it is up to her to find other care if you the daycare is closed. I try to keep my written communication between daycare families and myself business and keep personal out. If you did reply to her text, I think a follow up memo so there are no further misunderstandings.
    I'm guessing that it's probably stress related as maybe she had something big going on a work but - there is NO reason for her to say that and make you feel bad THEN expect you to find a replacement. She forgot to put her sensitivity chip in when getting ready for the day!!
    I hope your son is feeling better and don't let her stress you out when you already have your hands full with your little one
    I replied to her text and said I didn't have anyone i could "transfer" him to. I sent a few texts, one was apologizing, and explaining further why I was closing which I know was probably a bad idea. But I never heard back from her. I then contacted her husband, I said she seemed upset but there was nothing I could do. He said she was upset, but mostly just frustrated because she couldnt find anyone. He was really nice about it.

    I send home a "report card" everyone week and in it I included some information regarding future closings. That I try very hard not to close, but sometimes it's unavoidable and I cannot be expected to find a replacement. She said one thing in her text about not having any replacements until October 3rd - I'm not sure if she meant at work or for childcare. I then said that we needed to sit down and discuss what would happen if her child were to get sick - which parent is more likely to be able to take time off work, who should I call. I have an emergency contact sheet, but they never filled in the part where I ask who is the one to contact first. I said that although their work situation is mostly none of my busienss, I need to be aware if they are unable to take time off, who I should/could contact during the daytime for any questions that need immediate responses. And I have yet to hear back. She also always answers my emails when I send out the weekly reports.

    I was a little flabberghasted at her reaction. Although, she did wish my son well, it seemed like she was in some sort of panic. It was really weird.

    Anyways, hopefully we can sit down and talk about what happened. I just wanted to know what you guys thought about having a parent ask to find a replacement, if that was common practice or if she was just being a b****.

    Thanks!

  6. #6
    Euphoric ! Inspired by Reggio's Avatar
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    Ya not common practice in my circles - for planned stuff maybe but for sickness most peers I know just close!
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

  7. #7
    jec
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    Some providers have possible back up care in an emergency like a family member (your Mom or Mother in law) and others I know have other provider's in the area who are short in their numbers and don't mind making some money for the day. They plan around vacation time etc...

    For myself, I don't have back up care and it's the parent's responsibility to find it. An emergency is just that and it's out of our control.

  8. #8
    Euphoric !
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    Rude! Here is the clause from my policy. Feel free to adjust it's wording to include your family but we are not responsible for other people's emergencies as long as we are giving 100% every day that we are healthy. As I point out in this clause in my contract, the children in the daycare have usually brought the sickness to my house!

    Illness Policy for Caregiver__________

    If I am ill I will make every attempt to give parents/guardians 12 hours notice so they may find alternate care for the day. If I am feeling under the weather but not ill I will advise parents at arrival time. I reserve the right to use a paid personal day if I have become ill because usually one of the children has come to daycare with a contagion that has made me ill.

  9. #9
    Euphoric ! kidlove's Avatar
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    I wouldnt even think twice about it...you chose to stay home and work for the betterment of your family...if ANY of them needed you you would be there for them no matter the time of day. Yous kids and hubby come first and foremost and that is what you did, nothing wrong with your choice. When someone chooses to go with am in home daycare provider they know they are chooseing to go with someone who has put their family first, thats why they do what they do, and not only that but they also know you are the ONLY one to do your job, therefor they should have someone as "backup" for these specific situations. there was NOTHING you could do, you made the right choice to not only, be there for your son but also to keep the daycare away for their "health". Nothing to worry about. Maybe if you havent already, now would be a good time to inform ALL parents of the need for "last minute" back up care, in the event you are not available to take their child. FAMILY FIRST! thats what I always tell my dc parents. no apologies!

  10. #10
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    Thanks Kidlove! I definitely don't regret my decision, even though it only turned out to be teething, but I didn't want to put anyone's health in jeopardy, not to mention, he was so tired and clingy on Friday, having all the kids would have been exhausting for both him and I. I am seriously considering letting this family go. Since the whole, I have texted mom twice, and both times never received a reply. I think she's being childish and immature. It's ridiculous really. I send home a thing, as I mentioned, about talking about their work situations, and still haven't heard back. I'm getting pretty bitter about it lol The kid has been really difficult, and the only reason why I chose to keep him was because his family was great, followed all my policies to the T. But I don't want to deal with that attitude. We'll see what happens tonight at pick-up.

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