Follow up to mom expecting me to find replacement - need advice

[Littledragon]

One of my pet peeves is when people hide behind emails or texts and will not discuss a matter by phone or face/face. I get the impression that this situation will not improve as you are also dealing with a husband/wife dynamic which seems a little shaky. I would terminate them as this drama is not good for you, your family and your business. Even if english is her second language, rude and insulting is mostly the same in any language.

you're right. I'm a ltitle nervous about it, but I just need to have faith that I will be able to fill the spot in the next couple of weeks

[apples and bananas]

I can't believe she's this upset with you and still chose to bring her child to care. I never understood that. I always went out of my way to make my caregiver happy... because she has my child and if I make her mad she may take that out on my child. UGH! So frustrating when people just don't get along. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

[Toregone]

Yikes! Don't put up with that crap. Sending you multiple emails at a time, verbally attacking you, making unfair requests... none of this is acceptable. I hope you have a clause in your contract stating something about unacceptable parental bahaviour. If so I would make sure to mention this clause in your termination letter. It might not do you any good but it could help out the next DCP perhaps.

Also if the husbad has asked you communicate with him maybe talk to him as well and let him know what is going on and why you have decided to do the termination. It is clear she wont listen to reason but perhaps he will.

Hope it turns out well for you!

[Littledragon]

WELL!! Dad is the one who drops the dck off in the morning. The minute he walked in, he apologized. (I cc'd him on all the emails). He said she was being unreasonable and contradicting herself. She even contradicted herself to him. THEN HE SAID "I guess this is a good time as any to let you know that *child* and *mom* are going on vacation FOR TWO MONTHS IN OCTOBER! WHAT!!?? And you didn't think of telling me this when he started three weeks ago?!

I guess that solves my problem though lol although I wrote up the term letter, I am going to wait until a)I find a replacement or b) they leave - whichever one comes first. Dad is SUPER nice and very reasonable, and it's hard to hold any of this against him. I know that they are having some communication issues between the two of them, and maybe they're not happy. He did say he was quite excited for them to leave lol

Anyways, so I guess I'm not going to terminate today, but I did say that if anything else happens, I'm done. She is NOT to contact me via email or text - only by phone and if she attacks me again, it's done. I told him that I sympathize with how difficult it would be for them to find someone for the next month, so I will keep him, but I am not one to be taken advantage of and I will not stand being attacked. He understood and apologized profusely.

Ugh. I hate being so nice. I wish I could have just said F**k you, go away. But, in the back of my mind, all I can think about is my budget lol I'm a sad case, huh?

[kidlove]

Perfect reply: NEXT......

These kinds of people come along even sometimes with our better judgement in mind!!!! You will definately get no where with this one, I would terminate immediately and let me tell you why..... IF you give this lady another two weeks, she WILL remain bitter and she more than likely will be looking for a mistake! If you make ANY mistake she will do her best to make your life hell. I have had people like this, gave them a second chance and my kindness came back to bite my a%$. I had an arguement with a mother once, against my best judgement decided to keep her son in care and she turned me in to licensing for every tiny thing she could, like we're talking no plug in light fixture and such, told me when she left my house "I was unfit for care, and she would make sure I never took another child again" WELL............7 years later....I'm still here!!! kiss it, angry Mom, go take your prozac or zanax or change your pad and get off my back!!!!!!! ha ha

[kidlove]

Thats kind of perfect I guess? If she is going on vacation did she plan to pay you while she was gone? wait vacation for two months? who takes vacation for two months? I know she is Asian, probly going home to visit family, but who leaves with their child for two months from home work and husband, maybe she is going and not coming back and the poor fool, just thinks shes going no vacation for two months. Well, either way, sounds like it's already planned out for you, on top of asking her not to email or text, I would also ask the father to do the dropping and picking up and take that family OFF you schedule as soon as her feet hit the tarmack of that airport!!!! Dont think twice about letting them go in October.

[jec]

Yikes! Mimi put it perfectly. You don't need that and I'm sure your stressing about it after daycare hours.

[Sandbox Sally]

As soon as I was told to address anything further with her husband, and to not "poke the lion", I would have terminated. This is completely disrespectful and immature behaviour. I am afraid that I would NOT accommodate anyone who expects their kid not to get dirty, nor would I tolerate someone shutting me down when I have issues to discuss with regard to the care of THEIR CHILD.

Seriously - how childish of her.

I would word it thusly,

"in light of our recent difficulties and your , it has become clear that refusal to discuss and resolve any issues, it has become clear to me that I can no longer accommodate the expectations of your family. Please have this notice serve as your two weeks notice. As of Sept 12, I am no longer willing to provide care for your son. I wish you luck finding a daycare provider more suitable to your needs.

Thank you,

Littledragon

[treeholm]

Putting on my business professor hat again.... I would not use the wording "I am no longer willing to provide care." If she shows the email to others, it looks as though you are being petty. I have heard the background and think you are absolutely justified in terminating, but I would still be careful how I word this. I would simply say, "I regret to inform you that I am unable to continue to provide care for (child's name) effective September 12th. I wish you all the best in finding care for (child's name) that best meets the needs of your family. Sincerely......."
I would never put it in writing that we have difficulties, or accuse someone of not wanting to discuss/resolve issues. Why make her any more angry? It does not benefit you in any way. Your goal is to be done with them to avoid future issues, not to lash out and let her have it. That would be seen as unprofessional (as much as I sympathize with your frustration!).