Sounds like she is making sure you know who is in control in this partnership. The dumb thing is that the information you need benefits her child. Replace and move on, that's what I say. So sorry to inconvenience her, but you have stuff too. And this is the downfall of putting your child in home care... there is no backup. Maybe she would be better suited for centre care, and maybe that's how you suggest that's she's no longer a good fit.