Ready to throw in the towel and quit and go back to work!!!

[momof4inpink]

So I got a phone call from my part time dcg's mom today. She was my last original client without a contract from almost a year ago. I had this dcg for almost a year, started at 12mths old and right from the very start she was a spitfire to say the least, and the older she got the more difficult it had become to care for her. I had been contiplating terminating her for sometime but always was hoping for the best.

Last week I had 2 new fulltime dcg's start and of course the transition was not easy with this spitfire. I had a conversation with the mom last week, and had voiced my concerns, and tried very hard not to make these parents feel bad, as I truly liked them from the start. The mom calls me today, to tell me that her child will be staying home for the rest of the week as she suspected she had become ill from the hand, foot, mouth virus and to watch for the other children closely to be aware, of course I thanked her for giving me this information. Then she tells me that her child will NOT return for September as they found alternate care, as she felt that I no longer wanted to care for her child. I said yes I have to admit that I had been struggling with wanting to terminate, however I was trying to see if she would improve.

Yes I am a bit relieved that she took it upon herself to find alternate care. And again I am aware that I had NO contract, however 3 days notice to terminate!!! Wow! This is the second and last original client to pull a fast one on me in the past 30 days!

I am so frustrated, tired, fed up, and just want to quit this whole dayhome experience!

I do have all new clients with all contracts now, and I am pretty much full, however this past month has literally kicked me both financially, and every other way possible!

[Crayola kiddies]

Sometimes these things are a blessing in disguise.... Instead of wrestling with thoughts of termination she did it for you and you dont have to spend the next two weeks counting the days and possibly dealing with a snarky parent and like you said you are pretty much full and everybody now has a contract so they all play by the same rules. At least this parent didn't just not show up next week and unfortunately you got left with the Possibility of hand foot and mouth but things could have been much worse and think of how calm your days are going to be now .... Enjoy the rest of your week

[mimi]

I think the mom knew the days were probably numbered for her child and decided to be proactive (you can't fire me, I quit approach)
Now is the time for you to feel relief and know that you are on the right path with your d/c Deep breaths!

[Inspired by Reggio]

From discussions with self employed peers the first year in business for yourself is always the hardest for any industry however IMO in childcare it is even HARDER because well this is often a thankless job where we are treated without respect or dignity from many clients and people do not think twice about 'stiffing us' finanically cause they do not value what we do as a source of income for our family but assume we do this for 'mad money' since we are home anyway .... so when we are 'new' we seem to be a magnet for clients who do just that ~ take advantage of that newbie spirit ~ so the first year or so is a true learning curve on how to define our business hours to what works for our family verses what we feel we 'have' to work to survive in this business, to learn to refine our advertizing and interviewing to attract the kind of clients you WANT to serve verses taking the ones you think you HAVE to survive in the business ~ aka people who do not share your childrearing values and therefore are raising for lack of a better word 'spoiled brats', it is the time where you have to work to refine your contract and business practices to be reflective of what works for 'YOU' and ensure that every policy and procedures is speaking authentically to your values, philosophies and goals so you do not have conflict with enforcing them the second you see a client 'stepping away' from them and so forth ... and when you finally reach that place than you can finally really sit back and enjoy this career path as things run smoothly, within reason of course cause we are working with children here, but when you have the right clients in the right environment to promote peace in your life this really is a very rewarding career!

Whenever I get thinking those 'would working out of the home' be better thoughts I sit down and review my pros and cons list of WHY I chose to do this in the first place and really reflect on if there is more pro or con and what 'cons' I am able to put a game plan in place to minimize so they are least impacting... so for example over the years I started really 'interviewing' new clients and being picky to only choose clients whose values reflected mine so we are all working on the same goal makes this job so much easier cause children thrive in consistency, I have shortened my work hours back to less than 10 per day, I have reduced the number of wee ones under two I am willing to take on to reduce my lifting/bending, I stopped offering 1/2 day programs and am no longer willing to do 'school age' care so I am not ruled by a 'clock' in determining our day, invested in a van and car seats to gain mobility and flexibly to reduce isolation in the home and so forth cause these were all things that were burning me out so to speak but things that I had CONTROL to change so I did .... but if I ever get to the place where there truly are more cons to this and ones I cannot change or control than I know from a logical rather than emotional view point that it is time to truly 'hang up the diaper gloves' so to speak.

This is am emotionally draining job for sure ... you need to make sure to take care of yourself so that your soul does not get sucked dry by the constant giving and giving that is often required. Do you make sure to get out of the house at least once a week AWAY from all children and discussions about children were you do something just for YOU?? Cause if not I would start THERE and see if that helps!

[Momof4]

In my first year I had a screamer and the Mom wanted me to hold her all the time. She was here for a month with no improvement and I was still struggling with what to do because I only had a few clients. When the Mom came in and told me her sister was going to watch the baby at home starting the next week I was so angry at the short termination notice, but my second thought was, YES, YES, YES!!! I hope that thought hits you tonight.

Yes, we have to pay our bills, but what good are paid bills if we lose our sanity?

[kidlove]

You got saved there....I have a funny feeling things would have only gotten worse with this little one once she got involved with these new kiddies. Count you Blessings and move on...with a contract in hand!!!!!

[Littledragon]

I'm sorry that you're having these feelings. It can be so tough sometimes to really see the worth in what we are doing. Trust me, I have been through the wringer and back and I have only been doing this for 6 months. I cry a lot lol but I know why I do this and it makes it all worth while in the end.

You took a nasty hit with these people who left you and ygu had to suffer financially, as well as with your ego. HOWEVER, as you say, you are now pretty much full, you have contracts and full time clients. It can only get better from here.

Reggio, can I ask - what kinds of questions do you ask? I am trying desperately to learn how to properly interview clients, however, I never seem to get a feel for them until a few weeks in when I realize the child is indulged at home and mom is PSYCHO. I am 6 months in, and I have lee-way to now take my time in interviewing people and I really want to find the right families so I don't have to deal with getting psycho mom emails at midnight.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Reggio, can I ask - what kinds of questions do you ask? I am trying desperately to learn how to properly interview clients, however, I never seem to get a feel for them until a few weeks in when I realize the child is indulged at home and mom is PSYCHO. I am 6 months in, and I have lee-way to now take my time in interviewing people and I really want to find the right families so I don't have to deal with getting psycho mom emails at midnight.

Here are a few from my list that i find helpful for getting conversations going ....

Have you used childcare before?
If yes how did you and your child enjoy the experience?
Do you have any fears or concerns about your little one adjusting to childcare:
What do you want your child to get from their childcare experience:

Family background?
Who lives in the house with the child?
Any there custody arrangements I need to be aware of:

Child’s Medical History?
Has your little one been immunized? Yes / No / Partially
Allergies or food restrictions:
Any medical needs / conditions that could impact care or interactions within the program. How can I help?:

Can you share a little bit about your little ones routines?
Eating habits: are they feeding self, how do you introduce new foods, deal with them refusing to eat something, etc gets a feel for are they 'resteraunt style parents' who cater to picky eaters or does the child eat what they are served and wait for next
Sleeping habits: how do they fall asleep for nap and for bedtime, how long do they sleep for average nap and throughout night, what happens if they wake up mid sleep cycle do they self soothe, get a bottle, rocked, etc.
Toileting needs: cloth or disposable, do they get diaper rashes, creams used, etc. if they are older where they are in the potty learning/training stage
Separation techniques: are they use to being away from parents, how to they handle separation, etc.
Likes / Dislikes: what does the child enjoy 'doing' at this point anything they really do not like doing.
Families behaviour management philosophy: How does the family manage behaviours such as touching things that are unsafe, aggression, helping a child accept 'no' and so forth
Any recent changes in the child’s life that may affect the child? move, job change, separation / divorce / loss of a loved one, etc
In the event of an emergency where I cannot find an alternative backup for care are their family supports in place to assist you with alternative childcare needs?

[Littledragon]

Here are a few from my list that i find helpful for getting conversations going ....

Have you used childcare before?
If yes how did you and your child enjoy the experience?
Do you have any fears or concerns about your little one adjusting to childcare:
What do you want your child to get from their childcare experience:

Family background?
Who lives in the house with the child?
Any there custody arrangements I need to be aware of:

Child’s Medical History?
Has your little one been immunized? Yes / No / Partially
Allergies or food restrictions:
Any medical needs / conditions that could impact care or interactions within the program. How can I help?:

Can you share a little bit about your little ones routines?
Eating habits: are they feeding self, how do you introduce new foods, deal with them refusing to eat something, etc gets a feel for are they 'resteraunt style parents' who cater to picky eaters or does the child eat what they are served and wait for next
Sleeping habits: how do they fall asleep for nap and for bedtime, how long do they sleep for average nap and throughout night, what happens if they wake up mid sleep cycle do they self soothe, get a bottle, rocked, etc.
Toileting needs: cloth or disposable, do they get diaper rashes, creams used, etc. if they are older where they are in the potty learning/training stage
Separation techniques: are they use to being away from parents, how to they handle separation, etc.
Likes / Dislikes: what does the child enjoy 'doing' at this point anything they really do not like doing.
Families behaviour management philosophy: How does the family manage behaviours such as touching things that are unsafe, aggression, helping a child accept 'no' and so forth
Any recent changes in the child’s life that may affect the child? move, job change, separation / divorce / loss of a loved one, etc
In the event of an emergency where I cannot find an alternative backup for care are their family supports in place to assist you with alternative childcare needs?

Thank you!!