Help

[mommy22kids]

So I started out with new new kids yesterday the day went ok, the came for 3 hours. child #1 was fine and adjusted ok but child #2 was not so easy he didnt eat or sit in the high chair. so day 2 today the both arrived happy and came in no problem but #2 was a mess within 10 mins he was so unhappy didnt eat all day and didnt nap he is only 18months and due to all his crying baby #1 didnt sleep who is also 18 months. so I later find out from mom that he has never slept apart from her or in his own bed. i have no idea what to do mom wants me to lie with him until he sleeps i just cant do that as i have to get 2 others to nap? help if anyone can think of how i can put 2 babies down for nap who never slept without mom?

[kidlove]

ok, you have a job on your hands, I NEVER take two kids at once for this simple fact, it usually takes some time for any child to adjust to a new place, even the best kids need a little time! So...first off put in your notes somewhere, to not do this again. Too difficult. Now that you are here well, do you have rooms for them to sleep in separate/ even for a little bit until you can get the crier trained to sleep alone? If you do then I would suggest you put the crier to bed first leave him a little soft music or something, maybe wrap him (swaddle like) (i know he's 18 mo. but he sounds babied) so he feels safe and leave him for a good little while to "cry" & fall asleep ALONE! the key is to train him to go to sleep by himself, if he is a fairly normal tempered child, he should pick up on this quite quick, as long as you dont give in, then once he is asleep you can lay the other one down in (hopefully) peace and quiet. I dont really believe in taking steps to transition a child, daycare is a little different than home care with mommy in the sence that the sooner the kids learn they need to rely on themselves the better for all including that child. Self soothing is a GIFT for the child as well as the parent, builds self assurance, and self esteem. AND helps the Mother or Provider!!!!!! Good Luck!

[kidlove]

I should add, if you literally feed the crier like 20 minutes before the others (assuming you have lunch then nap) and lay him down to cry for a bit while the others are eating and getting ready for nap, hopefully that will be enough time for him to fall asleep.

[apples and bananas]

I never understood why parents aren't working towards getting their child prepared for daycare. I wouldn't want someone else laying with my child... in my mind... that's a line that I don't want crossed.

I always explain to the parent that if they don't prep them to be on my schedule the child is more stressed out and doesn't transition as easy.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Wow ~ sorry to hear that the parents did not prepare their child for 'group care' for you .... IMO it is seriously not realistic to expect a provider of multiple children of various ages to co-sleep children in their programs ... totally fine if you want to do that at home but you need to also prepare them for care in order to set them up to succeed at least have them napping independently and able to go to sleep with 'anyone' by the time they start daycare because it is stressful enough to manage that change without having needs that are hard to meet!!!

I had a client who was called back to work 4 months early so she did not have a chance to prepare her child for napping independently as she intended .... things that worked for me were getting everyone else into bed FIRST by leaving him in the highchair and than I would come back for him and would 'swaddle' him and the first few days I would stay with him and 'rock' him to sleep from a laying down position so that he had the support of feeling cozy from the swaddle and the human contact from me ... the first few days I stayed until he was 'out' completely and than over the course of the next few days I stayed less and less.

However mom and dad were working WITH me cause as soon as they found out she had to return to work they started working on independent napping at home without being breastfed first and so forth and followed through on weekends so the child had 'consistency' of expectations.

This little dude would not go into a pack n play though cause that was too much with everything else that was 'new' for him and he would get so uptight when he woke up midsleep cycle that he would be vomiting within 30 seconds of stirring he got hysterical that fast before I could get into the room to calm him and it was disturbing everyone else ~ so after day three of trying that I moved him to sleeping swaddled in the same room I spend quiet time in, my livingroom, and well he has just 'stayed' that way cause it works and so for the first month I was there to support him to sleep and I would read my book while sitting beside him and 'patting' his bum and from 9 months old he has been laid down and falls a sleep independently and sleeps for 3 hours as long as he is not 'alone' in the room but he sleeps even with noise of me moving about and when the other kids get up from their quiet time and now that he is 15 months when he wakes up he has learned to 'stay' on the mat until I give him the thumbs up that quiet time is over for him and its ok to get up. I have tried twice to put him back into a pack n play and he only sleeps 30 minutes and wakes up puking so I just opted for what works to give everyone a nice long quiet time cause it is no skin off my back that he is not in the pack n play and as long as him being in the livingroom does not impact my ability to do my chores cause he can sleep through it its win win for everyone.

[mommy22kids]

Thanks for all your help, I will try doing that when they come tomorrow. I wish I new this before they started I think I would have passed on that child as its not far for anyone.
What is the worst that can happen to a child screaming and cring to fall asleep, the crys are so bad I feel like they will through up or worse?? Like I said my kids are great sleepers and so have my daycar kids. So if both new babies cant fall asleep on there own should I up them down at the same time? and yes each child has there own room to sleep in.

[kidlove]

exactly!!!!! why do parents not think about their child really? If you were sending your kid to care wouldnt you ask the provider all the questions like, "how does your day go" "how do the kids sleep" "when do you do this and that" I would def think of MY CHILD first, then think of myself. It seems to me that parents dont give a crap! "that's what the provider is there for" to do the parents job! I have had so many Moms leave my house with their child screaming and as we watch the Mommy walk to her car, I swear she has a half smile and a huge "sigh of relief" look on her face. Then she gets in her a says "sucker" while driving away!

[kidlove]

Are they both crying at nap time? oh man. Is one more likely to go to sleep quicker? You have to use a lot of strategy thinking when doing this job, I have found. every child is so different that what may work for one will never work for another. I guess try feeding them both at the same time, I really think though by the sounds of it, you need to lay the co-sleeper down first, you may have the most issues from that one. Hopefully they just cry for like 15 20 minutes of a I'm alone whine and then fall asleep? Hope it goes well.

[Crayola kiddies]

I find all this out during the interview process .... I ask "how do naps go? Do they sleep in a playpen ? Go to sleep on their own without being rocked ? ". I am not an AP'er and I want children to be able to sleep independently. I would talk to the parents and tell them they have to put him in his own bed at home in order to help him adjust to daycare. I would put the screamer down first to give him a chance to wear himself out unless the other child is a really sound sleeper. And no I wouldn't lay down with any child

[Littledragon]

I should add, if you literally feed the crier like 20 minutes before the others (assuming you have lunch then nap) and lay him down to cry for a bit while the others are eating and getting ready for nap, hopefully that will be enough time for him to fall asleep.

I agree with this. With my own son, I wasn't too keen on the crying out thing but with kids that aren't mine, and the fact that they're not on a schedule at home making it 100 times more difficult to get them on a schedule, I am pro-crying it out. I would do this. For the first week, I would put them both in the same room, and sit in a chair or whatever, playing on your phone or something, so you're not paying attention to them so they know you're there. But once they get comfortable, I would start letting them cry.

And I would DEMAND (as much as I hate that word) that mom and dad try to match your schedule at home on the weekends. Once the schedule is fixed and they know what to expect at daycare, having a weekend of "freedom" wouldn't be detrimental, but until they're on a schedule, mom and dad need to follow yours to a T. If they complain, let them know that if they had prepared for this in advance, it wouldn't be such a big deal. I have a 2 year old who's schedule was to wake up at 10am, nap at 4pm and bed by midnight!! can you believe it!! I asked mom and dad in the interview if he napped, and they said yes, but I thought that - like normal people - he napped in the early afternoon. I sent home a letter stating that unless he matched out schedule, I couldn't continue care. They were more than willing to comply. Mostly because they were sick of not having any time alone because the kid had their schedule.