I'm new too so I can't give you the voice of experience in daycare, but I am over 50, so I hope that counts as experience. Sounds to me like a normal "cold feet" type worry. I expect the first month to be challenging just opening a daycare, and you are coping some other heavy decisions and a new job. I would highly recommend that you give yourself a month to see how things go before you try to figure out what is best. Just one month. You may find that you are exhausted due to long hours and it doesn't work. You may find you get into a routine and enjoy it, and catch up on sleep on the weekends. I don't know, but I think "freaking out" right now is probably normal. I've been looking forward to opening my daycare for several months (I start September 4th), and I've had my little one-year old year for an afternoon, and he was a delight.... and I'm still going through moments of "OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE!" I just keep remembering that I had the same feelings the night before my wedding, and I've been married 34 years this fall....