Feeling the pressure - need some gentle advice.

[ree]

I am new to home daycare, however I've worked in a daycare centre before. I chose to start the home daycare so I could stay home (like pretty much everyone here ) I have 1 full time child, we're on week 2 and I am feeling this intense pressure that this isn't going to work.
I dread waking up and working every morning (which is unusual for me since I love working with kids) and feel depressed about money, since I only really have room for 2 kids (1 of which is my own) and cannot afford a larger place my husband suggested that I get a part time job.
So I work part time now in the evenings. I am up at 7am, work till the daycare kiddo gets picked up, then wait for my husband to get home so I can go work from 6pm till 1230am.
Today is my first shift at this part time job and I am already freaking out about my decision to stay home and now I am afraid that my daycare kids parents will be angry if I decide to terminate care so I can work full time evenings. I am a natural worrier, and if I don't have a concrete plan laid out for me to follow I become uneasy and this has been a 'fly by the seat of your pants' plan since my daughter was born.
I am so confused and frustrated. What would you do?

[treeholm]

I'm new too so I can't give you the voice of experience in daycare, but I am over 50, so I hope that counts as experience. Sounds to me like a normal "cold feet" type worry. I expect the first month to be challenging just opening a daycare, and you are coping some other heavy decisions and a new job. I would highly recommend that you give yourself a month to see how things go before you try to figure out what is best. Just one month. You may find that you are exhausted due to long hours and it doesn't work. You may find you get into a routine and enjoy it, and catch up on sleep on the weekends. I don't know, but I think "freaking out" right now is probably normal. I've been looking forward to opening my daycare for several months (I start September 4th), and I've had my little one-year old year for an afternoon, and he was a delight.... and I'm still going through moments of "OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE!" I just keep remembering that I had the same feelings the night before my wedding, and I've been married 34 years this fall....

[BlueRose]

The best thing that any worrier can do is take a deep breath. (I do this a lot).

Are you sure you can't take on at lest one more kid. I live in a 1000 ft 2 bedroom apartment and although I don't open my daycare until Oct. I know that I can fit a total of 5 kids in it. (I borrowed my friends kids one day. We did crafts and had nap/quite time, basically I did daycare for the day to see how it would work) it was a little tight but doable.

If you PM me I will send you my web address and you can see photos of my daycare area.

If you can get at least one more kid, maybe you wouldn't need to have a 2nd job.

I know for myself it takes me about 2 or 3 months to get fully comfortable in a new job. The first few weeks are always the hardest and I always wonder what have I gotten myself into.

[ree]

Thanks ladies. I usually know right away if something is going to work or not. I worked as a ECE full time at a centre, and a live in summer nanny. I never felt like this. I am wondering if it has to do with it being in my home and never really feeling like I get a break from it all.
Hubs told me to look at the bigger picture, if going back to work full time and still being able to stay home with our little one is an option he thinks I should go for it.
I am feeling guilty and frustrated with myself.

[playfelt]

I agree on the house size. If there is room in your place for you, your husband and your child then there is likely room for at least a couple more children. They only need a small place to play and it can spread from room to room making use of the kitchen table or a hallway. They can be napped in the same room so don't feel you need that many bedrooms. Coming from a daycare centre you will be bringing some of the centre mentality home and as others who have done it have said they realized that being home is different and the rules and methods are different and you have to put some of what you thought was best practice aside in favour of the reality - which for home care is best practice - not wrong just different than centre care.

It can take quite awhile to get settled in home daycare too. Getting at least that first child into care is the best accomplishment of all. Once other parents see that you have kids in care they will be willing to leave their child too and eventually you will be full but it can take several months.

If you treated the part time evening job as temporary until you can get the daycare up and running then you will have something to look forward to. Then you can decide what you do about the job. Maybe you will keep it just to get out with adults in the evenings or decide to work just weekends when you don't have kids in care. But you will figure out what works best for your family. Just give it all time.

[kidlove]

so whats the deal really? Are you so crowded in your house you cant posibly take another child or two? or are you bored with just two every day? (i would be, i have to have a houseful, a real challenge in order to feel accomplished) Or do you just miss working outside the home? well first off, I couldnt make enough money to pay what I need to pay with only one child in care. second, I couldnt imagine doing this job if my heart wasnt completely in it. Not sure your story but...I think taking one kid all day then doing something part time at the end of the night is kindof crazy! sorry but I think you might wear yourself a little thin doing that.

[Littledragon]

I know this is harsh but who f**king cares what your dcks parents think! This is your life and you need to do what is right for YOU and your children. If you don`t think you can do it, don`t. There is no sense in doing something you hate. And if you don`t like it, the kids won`t be happy, and neither will the parents.

Do what YOU need to do and don`t look back!

[Inspired by Reggio]

I will try to be as gentle as possible

I am an anal planner myself so could not imagine going into ANY business without having a 'plan' cause the stress would kill me too ... so the first thing I would do in your shoes is CREATE A PLAN .... starting with a pros and cons list of why you would want to do this in the first place verses a pros and cons list to returning to work outside the home either in evenings so you do not have to put your child in daycare yourself or a day job with her in daycare and you and your family have 'family time' in the evening .... really reflect on the good, the bad and the ugly of all those options because when you have a a true sense of the value of WHY you are choosing to do something it makes the 'cold feet' a little warmer because you are invested in making it work!

IMO being self employed in home childcare is not for everyone ~ you have to be able to cope with the isolation of working alone, you have to be able to have a budget that can compensate for fluctuating income that does not require you to be FULL to keep a roof over your head because that is just not the reality there are times when even the most awesome experienced of us has 'spaces empty' in our programs from year to year and it is often a feast or famine type scenario where children are born in 'waves' where a couple of years demand is high and than they are all in school and there is a lull in children before the next batch of siblings are born You need a plan where you are NOT working 16-20 hours a day because that is just not good for anyone and will burn you out!

Not sure what province you are in but in Ontario as an ECE who worked for decades in centre care I know that the square footage required per child inside is only 30 square feet ... so to care for 5 children in my program I only need 150 square feet of space and my livingroom is that big alone plus we have use of the kitchen, the playroom, the bedrooms for quiet time and so forth .... honestly your house has got to be at least 150 square feet hon .... so you can most definitely take on more children in order to make your business financially viable and they would still have more space than they are allotted in a CENTRE

[Crayola kiddies]

I'm with kidlove .... You need you take more then one child in order to make it worth while, and working a job in the evenings as well will only burn you out in a hurry. You can have more than one child to a room, and for me if I'm making lunch for two kids i might as well make it for five. Not saying you have to take on five kids but three would give you a nice income. Not sure where you are but where I live the average is 200/week. Good luck in your decision

[Momof4]

You are going to kill yourself with that schedule! Our bodies need routine and healthy sleep patterns. I know that for sure because I worked shift work for 10 years before I started my daycare.

I also know that the first year of daycare is really rough, but once you have great clients and they are recommending you to all their friends and co-workers you will not have trouble filling spaces any more. I'm turning people away left and right and this is only my 5th year in the business. Surprises still happen, new babies, families moving, but that's to be expected.

One more thing I know is that you can run a very successful daycare from an apartment because that's what I'm doing. My living room is my toyroom and my sleeproom. I just have to stash the 3 playpens and 2 cots away after naptime and set them up every day before naptime. I don't have a yard but the families who adore me know that I offer an amazing program.

Moral of the story: You can do anything and be successful if you are stubborn and determined! I'm one of those women!