How do you handle this? (Once again, really long)

[kidlove]

Dont feel bad about the freak control of keeping the kid clean, I think most of us have been there a time or two! I hada crazy Mom who was just like that, wouldnt have known that when I first met her though! I came to the conclusion thats how she "got" her nice, softspoken husband also...disception!!! (sp) After having her son with me for a while, she started turning "freak" (things didnt end well) ! she would say crazy stuff like, please keep ALL his "out fits" together, one day I changed his pants because they got dirty at lunch but didnt bother changing the shirt because it was clean, well, ...she keeps ALL "outfits" matching and doesnt mix them!! la tee da!! what a freak! she also brought me inside shoes, "these are hush puppies, his grampa bought them for like 50$ they are really expensive, please dont have him wear these outside" she bought a pair of sh**! shoes! at walmart for his to walk outside in, and provided me with oxiclean spray to spray and scrup the hush puppies if I forgot and brought those ones out. She also NEVER let me keep anything, even though it IS my contract to keep a cubby with extra clothes, diapers and wipes. CONTROL FREAK!!! She is the Mom who insisted his wipes couldnt be communal like all the other kids because his wipes are "special" she traveled 4 hours south to buy them. She asked me not to put any salt or butter on ANY of his food because SHE retains salt and "he may also". FREAK! the kicker was when SHE decided to pay monthly instead of every two weeks (because it worked better for her!) and when her month pay was due she became about 4 days delinquent so I called her with a notice and a 25$ late fee, she SCREAMED at me, swore at me in my home and said "I thought we were friends" I said, "no, we are not, this is a business relationship!" she told me she would take her kid somewhere else.....I said, WEW! O.K.! not gonna argue there, what a relief, love it when the asses decide to go on their own, so much easier for me. I have NEVER bent over so far to please a parent before, sometimes a psycho is a psycho is a psycho is a psycho! and theres nothing you can do about it, cut your loses with this one, and soon.!!!!!!!!! by the way two years later and I find out from other daycare parents (who work with her) she is STILL trying to get them to leave my care!!!!!!!! crazy FREAK!

[mimi]

We should all collaborate on a book- we all have some dousey stories to tell

[kidlove]

totally agree...it would be a first of it's kind. "What to look out for in a PARENT. A Daycare Providers Handbook"

[kidlove]

OR..."Don't be THAT parent!" "a handbook by: Providers for: Parents

[Littledragon]

haha!! I could write it! I am trained in writing after all lol

I am so emotionally exhausted from this whole thing. It's become a power struggle, and I know I am a little bit to blame. I ended up sending a letter last night, giving them a final notice - that if the behaviour continued, I would be letting them go. She did NOT like that. Her exact words were "Going forward, I advise you to act respectfully and rationally." WHAT!? Who the f**k does she think she is??

I cried myself to sleep last night. I realize it's not WHAT she's doing, it's HOW she's doing it - demanding things, not listening to my explainations and demands and the way she TALKS to me. I HATE IT!! There is no reason to be so condescending. That is a sign of disrespect to me, and I can't stand it.

Last week was so great! I really thought this daycare thing would be a good thing, but now I'm looking for full time evening jobs because I just don't think I can do this anymore. Whereas last week, I had enough kids to pay my bills, come end of September, I don't. This kid is definitely on his way out and another one is going part time because mom is having a baby.

Kidlove, how did you handle that?? The minute someone starts disrespecting me and not following my rules, the hair on my back goes up. I can't stand it when people don't do as I ask. This is MY business, and I don't work for them!! I know it's a control thing on my part, and I'm trying to work on it. But like I said, if she had had a calm, rational conversation with me about what she wanted to do, I would have been okay with it all. Every family is different, and I can't expect one thing that is easy for one family to be easy for another. It's just the way this all played out - it was bad and this definitely won't end well! I just need to decide when is the appropriate time to end it.

[kidlove]

NOW!!!!! Now is the appropriate time to end it! well actually about last week or earlier! ha ha
No joke....this is not going well, and it seems its only getting worse! From someone who has been there a time or two! (not proud to admit) but, this is NOT going to go any better than it is now...the nature of the job is to have "feast or famin" (sp). but keeping your sanity and good rep in tact is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT! dont be surprised if she tries to "drag you through the mud" by attempting to threaten you or trying to spread "bad things" to others, people like this are all over the world, us "good moral charactors" need to OVERCOME! these screwed up individuals! and not let them rule our "sleep" and days! Get rid of her NOW! Just remember....you are not making things any better by allowing her to continue her "ranting" AT you with her threatening words and ignorant comments. the last comment of "going forward, I advise you act act respectfully and rationally" is a threat.....thats where I would draw the line. Take the High Road! Let her know "her child was a pleasure and you can no longer provide care" wish her luck and have her take her child today and not come back!!!!!!!! let go of any further payment, money is not worth the abuse she is giving you.......NO MATTER WHAT, hold back ANY comments or responses to her ignorant attitude. Take the HIGH road! It takes a "fool" to argue with a "fool"...dont be a fool. I think I will be quite angry with you if you continue to care for this womans child, shes nasty and doesnt deserve your time a minute longer!!!!!!!!!!!!

I always have Faith.....what you need is always provided, you are NOT going to starve over the lack of one big creap!!!!!! good luck!

[Littledragon]

NOW!!!!! Now is the appropriate time to end it! well actually about last week or earlier! ha ha
No joke....this is not going well, and it seems its only getting worse! From someone who has been there a time or two! (not proud to admit) but, this is NOT going to go any better than it is now...the nature of the job is to have "feast or famin" (sp). but keeping your sanity and good rep in tact is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT! dont be surprised if she tries to "drag you through the mud" by attempting to threaten you or trying to spread "bad things" to others, people like this are all over the world, us "good moral charactors" need to OVERCOME! these screwed up individuals! and not let them rule our "sleep" and days! Get rid of her NOW! Just remember....you are not making things any better by allowing her to continue her "ranting" AT you with her threatening words and ignorant comments. the last comment of "going forward, I advise you act act respectfully and rationally" is a threat.....thats where I would draw the line. Take the High Road! Let her know "her child was a pleasure and you can no longer provide care" wish her luck and have her take her child today and not come back!!!!!!!! let go of any further payment, money is not worth the abuse she is giving you.......NO MATTER WHAT, hold back ANY comments or responses to her ignorant attitude. Take the HIGH road! It takes a "fool" to argue with a "fool"...dont be a fool. I think I will be quite angry with you if you continue to care for this womans child, shes nasty and doesnt deserve your time a minute longer!!!!!!!!!!!!

I always have Faith.....what you need is always provided, you are NOT going to starve over the lack of one big creap!!!!!! good luck!

lol well, I don't want you to be mad at me so I think I will terminate. My husband wants me to. He never liked the kid to begin with. The only thing is, dad is SO nice and reasonable, and of course, he tried to smooth things over this morning at drop off. I only see mom once a day for 30 seconds and they ARE leaving at the end of October, but I am so resentful, and so is she, that any little thing might set us off. It always is bad and you're right, it won't get better. It hurts me, but letting him go might be a good idea. I just got an email for a little girl for part time, which I don't usually do, but at this point, I don't think it's such a bad idea.

I'll write out the term letter and they'll get it tomorrow when they leave. It sucks, and I hate not having money, but you're right. At this point, I'm like a prostitute. I'm selling myself out, and taking abuse, just for a bit of cash. Not good

[kidlove]

Ha Ha. perfect example. Dont let people "use" you, your worth more than that. It is hard to swallow when bills are due but, no amount of money is worth the worry this woman is causing you. Sounds corny but, get over with it soon so you can start to heal! It does take a while to get over a situation like this, dont get jaded just keep your guard up in the future and I pray you never run into a "crazy" like this one again.

ps. prepare yourself for a mini-battle at the end of the day. Dont forget, (take my Mom's advice) just say only kind words, dont let the woman get under your skin (thats what she wants) just repeat yourself if theres any conflict "I have enjoyed your daughter thankyou for allowing me to care for her but this is not going to work out" or whatever you choose to say, but by all means, dont take part in her ignorance!!!!! DONT YELL! DONT ARGUE!!!!! good luck

[Littledragon]

Thanks Kidlove. I'll let you know how it goes

[Inspired by Reggio]

Hon ~ I would not be micro managed in my own home .... yes these are 'their' children we are caring for however we are offering a service, we have a contract and policies and procedures around how that service will be offered and if they want something 'outside' that service they do not come in DEMANDING it they come in respectfully sharing their point of view or idea and ASK if it is something that we would be able to accommodate and if we CANNOT than they respectfully accept that or they decide if it is a deal break and give notice.

I actually have a code of conduct in my contract with expectations around 'communication' for both parties and the way she has handled this would have been grounds for immediate termination here in my program and she would have forfeited her 'deposit' being applied to her last two weeks of care as a result ~ she would just be DONE!

I agree with Kidlove that no amount of $$$ is worth being belittled and disrespected in your own HOME.