Vent/advice Oh the Drama!!

[Dreamalittledream]

So, my 2 1/2 year old DCG (the one who got hearing aids while off all summer), has become Miss Drama Queen! Example, just now another daycare child touched her arm with a puppet on his way by her (I saw the whole thing), this turned into a crying fit because ___ "hurt my arm"...to which I replied "You're fine ___"...which was met with a crying fit that has been going on (still going on...ignore technique) for 12 minutes. I've separated her from the group to a chair ("I understand you feel sad, when you're done crying you can come out of the chair). When these episodes first started I would get on the floor and hold her...but it would go on and on...now 14 minutes and I think we're done (for this episode, anyway). Sheesh! It's just such a change from my 'rough and tumble' & so not sensitive at all little girl that left me in June. Is this a stage? Are you all laughing and rolling your eyes because it's not just her? <insert image of dreamalittledream going loopity loo here>

[kidlove]

probly a mix of "two years old", she is a drama queen and the "extra" attention she is probly getting because she has hearing aids. either way, "unexceptable is unexceptable" and time outs are in order. She may just be blooming into "one of those kids!"

[Littledragon]

It might have something to do with her hearing aids? Maybe she's feeling a little sensitive and out of sorts? When did you stop coddling her? Is it a new thing? I agree with kidlove, time outs are best for this type of behaviour. My son just started this too, and as difficult as it is, I just have to ignore it. He's only 13 months and doesn't quite understand time outs, but I know how irritating it can be. I have a drama king in care too, and sometimes, you just have to have a tough skin. It probably is a phaze, but you need to nip it inthe bud. Talk to mom about it too

[Inspired by Reggio]

I was going to suggest the same as Little Dragon .... she is going to have a heightened senses for a while .... because she can 'hear' now everything is going to be processed with not only that basically 'new' sense but all the other ones will be heightened as well as she rewires her brain to have them work together again .... not that excuses acting out the way she is ~ she still needs to learn to 'cope with dignity' but it should hopefully be a short lived adjustment.

[Momof4]

I hope it's an adjustment period for your sake and the poor little thing learns about her new hearing sense quickly. It seems like she must be overwhelmed right now. I wouldn't give her a whole lot of attention, just the minimum amount so she knows you care and she has to follow the rules but not so she is milking the attention from the tantrums.

[Dreamalittledream]

Update on this little girl. I spoke to mom over my concerns about her ability to vocally express words/sentences & her drama/tantrums. Mom started to cry (she is so frustrated with the behaviours too). I feel so bad for this loving (adoptive) family. Her mom keeps saying "she is such a hard child & everyone thinks that I am just comparing her to her older brother". I assured her that I too agree that she has some challenges, but that I am not going anywhere and that we as a team will get through it (then we both cried). Behaviours that concern me with this 2 1/2 year old: Will not vocally express anything without prompting (does have the words, when we sit & look at books she will name all kinds of things), for the last 2 weeks she appears sullen & withdrawn...she just sits back & plays on her own all day (before she used to run & play with the others) (several times through the day I will sit in front of her and just hold her...but she remains the same after) and also if I (same exact behaviour at home) need to correct her (say "no" to her, which I do in a calm, quiet tone) or if her daily routine changes in the slightest way it immediately leads to a tantrum (often with head banging, or she will 'stand on her head' and stay that way until I move her). Oh and also, she has always needed a stool softener to have a BM. Mom has been referred to a specialist, hence the hearing aids as well as she is undergoing speech therapy. When the tantrums occur, I (just like at home) remove her to a chair telling her "when you are done crying you can come off the chair". This is all just ringing an alarm bell in my head that these are all signs of some underlying condition? She received the hearing aids in early July, how long do you think the adjustment process should be for those? She really is such a sweet, cuddly little one who is just so eager to understand what you want and to please....to see her going through all of this breaks my heart.

[Crayola kiddies]

Oh and also just because she has hearing aids you should still make sure you are facing her when speaking to her.... Don't speak to her while you are in another room or your head is in the fridge .... She likely won't hear you correctly or will only get part if what your are saying which will be frustrating for her.

[Crayola kiddies]

Hearing aids take some time to get used to. Everything is so loud to her now .... If someone is crying or yelling it will be ear piercing to her..... If blocks are being banged together it's deafening.... And even though you are hearing the same as she is it will be worse for her because she's not used to it. all the noise of the kids playing can be overwhelming and I'm guessing the reason for the tantrums ( if they started since the arrival if hearing aids) also musical instruments would probably not be a good idea..... And when outside the wind would be terrible .... Have you ever watched the news when a reporter is broadcasting live from a hurricane or tornado site and the wind is so bad that all you can hear is horrible static from the microphone and the odd word from the reporter ???? That's what it will be like for her !!!! So make sure when you are outside on windy (even light wind) that she has a hat on that covers her ears. I feel for this kid

[Dreamalittledream]

Thanks so much Crayola...great advice about the wind/hat to cover ears. Is there any way I can help her get used to things? I wish I could limit the noise in the playroom...but that is just impossible. She definitely has some hearing function, she could hear me perfectly well (example, with her back to me, in my lap I would ask her to point to certain things in a picture book) before hearing aids; unless I was at a distance & using a loud voice to tell everyone it's time to come in...it's certain pitches she cannot hear. One day last week I even left out her Hearing Aids after naptime for about an hour just to see. No change; still withdrawn & sullen. You're right, I feel really bad for her.

[Momof4]

Crayola's advice is great. I was also going to say that it's going to take months and months of adjusting for this little girl. Dream, I'm just so sorry that you feel so exhausted and drained from dealing with this family and I admire you for not even mentioning termination. Take care of yourself.