Vent/advice Oh the Drama!!

[Dreamalittledream]

I have sensory issues. They're manageable most of the time, but most definitely other things can exacerbate these problems.

If things are loud, meaning too many different noises happening at once, I can feel overwhelmed and cranky. When I am overwhelmed and cranky, even the softest touch can send me reeling. I am talking about a hand on the shoulder, or a soft touch to the arm from DH. My instant response is to either burst into tears or hit him in rage. I have read that these overload moments are not unique to me, but rather fairly common to those with sensory triggers.

If this little girl is at all sensory sensitive, and suddenly she is hearing ALL THE THINGS, it could very likely be overwhelming for her, and as we all know, toddlers and preschoolers especially, are prone to not knowing exactly how to deal with overwhelming emotions.

Just my .02
I think you're awesome for being patient with her, and wanting to understand the root of her behaviour. I also think that what I wrote above is worth mentioning to her exhausted mom.

Also, I know you likely know this, but Sensory Processing Disorder or any type of sensory issues can be linked with being on the Autism Spectrum, but the two can also be completely unrelated.

I can't thank you enough for sharing that. Kind of gives me a glimpse into what she is going through?

[Dreamalittledream]

OR....it could be more basic like, because she is adopted she tends to "get more of what she wants". Did you say the Mom is also having a hard time dealing? how does she react to the child in front of you? does she seem spoiled or "given in" to alot?

She is a totally different girl depending on which parent is with her. With Dad (who is laid back) she is happy, drops off perfectly, no issues. If Mom drops her off (rarely) or is the one picking her up (most often) she is a demon child in Mom's presence (& Mom says this behaviour goes on all the time at home). It's only with Mom..she can be happily playing, with her back to her...as soon as she sees her she's, screaming & crying. Mom does appear to me to be the one giving in "if you stop crying you will get .... (treat)" (my sense is Mom is just exhausted); whereas Dad pretty much ignores it or is firm.

[Sandbox Sally]

You're so welcome. It's so hard to explain to people that don't get that way, but it sounds like you get it. You're an awesome provider, Dream. Be proud.

[kidlove]

Given being "special" in so many ways (hearing aids/adopted) she knows it! And uses it, truely sounds to me like more than anything else (hearing issues/developemental issues) she may just know how to get what she wants out of certain people. I have a 2yr 8 mo old, who is adopted (and very loved) but has some learning delays (was quite neglected the first few months and has a little DNA issue or two maybe) but is VERY intelligent and will "take a mile" if you let her. At home as well as here, there are "no exceptions" she is smart enough to understand right from wrong but has a bit of a "stubborn streak" she attempts to "push" as far as you will let her (just as any other two year old) the way I see it is, she is just the same as any other 2 yr old, delay or not (within reason of course, but I expect her to do just about anything I expect of a just 2 yr old, which is pretty much the same as a 2 yr 8 mo old) when she mis-minds she is disciplined when she doesnt listen she is corrected and if she throws a fit, it's not tolerated. Otherwise she will never learn.

[kidlove]

My son is a little ADHD, we dont tell him that all the time, he may have heard the phrase a time or two, but we dont sit him down and say "you are special because you have ADHD" we dont dwell on it because we dont ever want him to think there is "any" reason he cant do something or is "different" from any other child his age. not to mention I dont believe anyone (child or adult) should mark themselves with a label or disability (can create a "sorry for self" mentality). Is raising him more difficult than other kids? yes. Is he more difficult than all kids? no. He struggles in school and life will always be a bit more of a challenge for him, as it is for MANY people with differences. The way I see it is, you teach a child to adapt to the world, because the world is NOT ALWAYS going to adapt to them, AND dont ever allow a child to expect people to make "special" circumstances just for them. Granted: if a child is blind of course they need brale. And if the ADHD is SEVERE they may need meds, but if they have one leg shorter than the other, encourage them to play football, dont allow them to sit in self pity. My son came home the other day and asked if he could have "earmuffs" to do his school work because he cant concentrate with noise around. (I am exactly the same-apple didnt fall far!) I thought for a minute and seriously almost gave in to the idea but....what does that help him overcome? nothing. it's just a bandaid another crutch to hold him up. He WILL overcome all his obstacles in life, its going to continue to be a bumpy road but the one thing I am sure of, is he will grow up to be stronger than the average man because he has more to overcome than the average child. What doesnt kill us only makes us stronger, this little girl is much better off if treated as any ordinary kid than she would be if catered to and treated special because she has hearing issues or was adopted. Just my opinion.