Burning out already? - Vent

[Littledragon]

I've just opened my daycare, officially, in July. I had a little boy since March, but it was just him and my son so we were able to carry on with our daily lives. I had a REALLY hard time finding clients. I was paniky about it because if I couldn't fill up, I would have to go back to work in June and I really didn't want to. Finally, I found 2 kids - a well-behaved 11 month old, and a well-behaved 2.5 year old. They started one day after the other. The first week was great! The 11 month old slept great, and so did the 2.5 year old. Then, the 11 month old started becoming really disruptive (don't ask me how she did it being as how she was only 11 months old) and I hated it when she came. I hate to say it. Mom was having a difficult time finding a job, and never ended up finding one and wanted to take her daughter out without giving me notice or paying me up to date. A battle ensued and I had to fight for my rights. I had to find an emergency kid in case the mom took off on me. Luckily, I found a kid and luckily mom didn't take off on me, but that meant having 4 kids under 2. It was REALLY hard. About 2 weeks after she left, I was happy. I had three boys plus my own, everyone got along, everyone slept and ate. I even posted on here about how happy I was. Then I had to close the daycare for one day because my son had a fever and the 2 year old's mom (the one who had just started) flipped out and started going all mental on me. That argument (ie: power struggle) lasted about a week. Now, I have to find care to replace him. And I need to find another full timer to replace the one I've had since march because he is going part time in November.

I'm tired. I dread having the kids over. My house is ALWAYS a disaster. My son is whiny when all the kids are there. I'm so so so so so tired of waiting for clients to call, setting up the interview, doing the interview, and waiting for them to make a decision. I've had 4 kids go in and out of here, and thus far, 10 interviews. A lot of them I refused, but still. It's ridiculously tiring.

Every day, I think about what else I could do and the sad truth is nothing. I am fresh out of school, so I would have to get an entry level job which wouldn't pay me enough to pay for daycare and pay my bills. In addition, I can't imagine putting my son in care. I just can't do it, at this point. I don't know of any stay at home jobs, I don't know of any jobs I could bring my son to. My ultimate dream is to be a stay at home mom, and take in maybe one kid, just to play with my son.

I feel so trapped, especially because I'm not sure I'm cut out for this. Last week was BRUTAL. I just don't know if this is something I want to do long term. Either I have to wait till my son goes to school, or wait till I get pregnant again and I'm not about to get pregnant again just so I don't have to work because I'll be in the same position afterwards anyways.

I know the first year is the hardest, but I never thought it would be this trying on my emotions and my sanity. I am just SO tired.

Thanks for the vent

[kidlove]

Your Welcome for the Vent. and You are NOT alone! Every one of us has been there a time or two or three or four or.......... You are doing what you love (staying home with your child)...keep doing it! This job is NOT easy, but oh how I could tell you all the times parents have walked in my door and made comments like "oh how good you have it!" or "I wish I could stay home all day Like you" this job is GREAT in the sense that we CAN stay home every day (but some days it feels like a prison!) I would trade this for the world....but, there have been MANY days I watch a Mom go off to work dressed all fancy and smelling so good and knowing her lunch will be peaceful and at some point in the afternoon she will walk out of her office and into the day in QUIET, go to pick up a coffee in QUIET and return to work ALONE! although I would NEVER trade my life for someone elses, not only do I love this job (prison or not) but I am also being happy being me! I know I will always be ok, God provides and through ALL the ups and downs (there have been MANY over the years) I wouldnt trade a thing, because I have been here for my kids the entire time. its worth the prison, its worth the crying, its worth the creaps and their kids. (more good people than bad) but its worth it all, years ago, like you, this was my dream! I never thought I would be able to do it, and I did...hang in there, it is quite an accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself. You really have to be a tough person to keep it up and not quit even when things get so tough. Things WILL get better, I promise. I have been where you are! Go give your son a hug and thank the Good Lord for the oppertunity you have been given. There really is a very bright side!!!!!!!

[Dreamalittledream]

I could not have said it better kid love

[Momof4]

Kidlove said it very well. This job is not for everyone, that's true and if we have to admit to ourselves that we can't do it or we really don't have a love for it, then it's necessary to ask outselves what will really make us happy. We owe that to ourselves. Walking away and making changes does not mean you are a failure, it means you are very brave sometimes.

However, as a woman who worked at large companies all her life I have to tell you I love being self-employed, not answering to a boss who plays favourites with the staff and won't let you have time off when you need it and gives you grief if you use a sick day. If you are self-employed you are the boss and make all those decisions (with respect to your clients of course).

What if you change your plan so that the children only play in one room and get them to help you clean up before they go home. This is what I do. And eating and creating is only done at my dining room table so the mess is always contained to one spot and easy to control. We go outside every morning for as much time as possible which also helps to keep my house clean.

I burn out now and then too, but I book vacations once every 3 or 4 months so I have a rest in sight at all times. I have a week off in a month and I can hardly wait. I'm burning out right now as a matter of fact, so I'm being careful with my rest and my health so that I can keep going and breathe and continue to work for the children.

Take a good look at your needs and your family's needs and make changes. Do you think your child would be happier if you went out to work and had to drop your son at daycare daily? Can you afford to have less children in care? Good luck finding your answers.

[Crayola kiddies]

Do you have an area that you can dedicate just to the daycare .... Get some free standing pantries from Canadian tire to put the toys in so when they are put away you can shut the doors and they are gone ....helps to keep things organized .... I have child locks on mine so the kids can only get out toys from the pantry that I open ... Good for toy rotation too.... Kids don't need every toy you have ... Just a few at a time .... And dont get out more then one that has a ton of peices like lego (duplo). I have a small table that I put two wooden puzzles on and if they want different one then those go away a I get out different ones . Too many toys equals chaos and all you feel like your doing is cleaning up. Especially with little ones who are just learning that skill. I too spend my mornings outside and then come in for lunch and then off to bed .... I have a good hour and a half break during nap time and all the kids are gone by 4:30.

[apples and bananas]

I hear your frustration! It takes about a year in my opinion to get comfortable and to a happy spot. You have to decide what you want. What hours.. .how many kids etc... and strive for that goal.

Hang in there, you're not alone, you'll have much better days!

[Littledragon]

Thanks ladies!! And kidlove, you made my day. I get into this rut, a negative head space, and although I KNOW it's not so bad, I can't help but feel sorry for myself. I have the BEST job in the world, and to be honest, it's one of my easiest..only because I don't have to get dressed and do my hair and DEAL WITH A BOSS lol I've never had a boss I liked. AND I get to stay home with my son. Athough we both have days I'm sure where we wish it was just us, he would be sorry, and so would I, if he had no one to play with.
Today was just crummy, I guess. My husband is up for a promotion, and it's been taking FOREVER to hear about it. It's a promotion that could literally change our lives, and I think it's been taking a toll on all of us. Stupid government!

I feel better now that they've napped.

I'm just so tired of interviewing..and the waiting kills me. I'm the type of person to take life into my own hands and waiting for that email just drives me up the walls!!! I have faith it will come though. I still have a lot of time.

Thank so much ladies. I really needed a pick me up and your words helped me a lot.

Apples...did you love the first day back at school????

[apples and bananas]

YES! It was wonderful. I was in a rut too... and coming out of it slowly. I tend to get into that place when I have a new start. I get very concerned about them liking it here and napping... I need a good sleeper. I started a new one 3 weeks ago and another new one today. But this is it! Mark my word these are the last 2 I transition in! It's my least favorite part of the job.