Siblings: One okay, one not so great...

[BCParent]

Hello,

I haven't posted much in the forum - I actually think this is my first day of it.

But I wanted to see if I could get a little input from other providers on a situation that I have. I'll admit, I'm super stubborn and will try my best to work with a family to keep things going once I choose to take them on (as I just posted, I have no problem declining a family before the fact but once I make a committment, I try my best to make it work) but I think I'm at the end of my ability to try.

I have two siblings - one 3 year old girl who comes randomly as she usually goes out with family and a nearly 2 year old boy who comes three days a week. For the first 8 months of daycare, the little boy screamed. I mean ear-shattering screams for the 10 hours he was here. No matter what I tried to do or how many times I talked to the family, nothing changed. He is tired, unfed usually when he gets here (as is his sister), and completely and utterly spoiled to the point where when he started daycare, his butt had never touched the ground. He was held and snuggled 24/7 which as a provider, you know that with other children in the house (and even not), no one can keep up that pace and be fair to the other kids and parents you work with. The sister is an absolute whiney, destructive, mean little brat who is as sneaky as the day is long with a mouth on her that if she was mine, would have had some serious consequences.

So finally in the last month, the little boy has settled down and is a near dream to look after with some crying here and there that...always coincide with the days his sister is here. She will be starting preschool in the fall three days a week and the family is aware that I will not be taking her to and from class (though I suspect that they are going to act like they don't remember as they are well, interesting, we'll say) but what I'd like to do, is fire the sister and keep the little boy. Any diplomatic way to do this? Or do I have to let them both go because after they were away for two weeks for vacation and I got a break, I realized that I cannot bear the thought of spending day in, day out, with this little girl and the rest of my daycare kids (and my own kids!) who can't stand her and are home from school all summer.

Advice? I guess I already know in my gut I need to let them go but I partly need the money and partly feel bad because I really don't think they'll find anyone else to take these kids.

[playfelt]

Can you hold out till end of the school year and then tell them that you would like the sister put into a summer camp group of some sort to get used to a group setting before starting preschool. That her behaviour at daycare is such that without this she won't survive in Sept. Ideally they do meaning you keep the boy and somebody else gets to tell the parents just how much of a "brat" the sister is not you. Either way it will do her good or she won't survive at preschool. It is very common around here for those in school to have a different caregiver than younger siblings.

[BCParent]

Thanks, Playfelt. That's a great idea though I'm not sure they'll go for it. They are in completely denial about any and all behaviour of the little girl and the screaming of their son. They have some of the most brilliant excuses I've ever seen somedays which I think is part of why I've hung on so long is that I just have to see how it ends...

You're right. Here too - one of my other kids has a sister who goes to different daycare because he was too young to go there but they just asked if the sister could join us here too in the fall. I guess I was just thinking because they both started here at the same time that it would be difficult to let one of the siblings go.

and on that note, I hear that naptime is now over.