NEVER make exceptions!!!!!!

[kidlove]

This post goes especially to the "NEW" providers out there! On a lesson well learned over the past years. I have made a habit of doing favors for all parents at one point or another through the years. (I feel that is part of what sets me apart from the other providers these parents could have chose) However....when is enough enough? I provide care for family, yesterday I sent out a text to ALL parents reminding of payment being due with in the first two days of each weeks care (per my contract) OR a 25$ late fee will go into effect. (per my contract) My family member I provide care for (who gets the world sweetest deal on care) texts me to say, "with exception of me right?" then texts again saying "does that message apply to me as well?" I responded by saying, "I would like it to apply to everyone, hard to keep track of who owes when. You are welcome to pay every two weeks (as she requested) just pay ahead two weeks" She responds with a text that explains they are living paycheck to paycheck right now and things are so tough for them, sometimes they live off her income alone.
Are they the only people in the world right now having a hard time paying bills and such? last I checked ALOT of people are having a hard time..including yours truely!
My advice to ALL "newbies"....NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION OF A PARENT! "money is tight" "FAMILY" "lost hours" "sick" whatever! no matter the situation..dont make the mistake of doing favors for this one and favors for that one, doesnt really make you a "great provider" just makes you a "great door mat" I KNOW, I've been one to many over the years, including family!

[Littledragon]

I totally agree!! Even if the subject is super trivial. I had a mom refuse to provide emergency clothes. Normally, I would been OK with it, but she seemed like the type of person who would eventually change this rule, than that rule, than this rule. I spent 3 days arguing about a friggen pair of emergency clothes. SO trivial. But if I gave in to that, just like you said, when would it stop?

I'm sorry you're going through something that difficult. It's hard for us who are people pleasers and want to make things easier for others, because we would like the same treatment if the roles were reveresed. Unfortunately though, it's just not possible. People, by nature, take advantage, whether or not they mean to. I have a friend who is starting up a daycare right now and is refusing to supply a contract. She's been screwed so far by three clients, but she won't do up a contract. I've explained to her that if she lets them, they will take advantage. It sucks to admit that it's human nature, but it's just the way it is. You need to define the line between friends and working relationships. It's really hard for me because I get along with pretty much everyone, and people automatically assume we're friends, just bc of the way that I am. But once you develop that type of relationship, it's hard to be assertive when you need to be.

Hand in there and stand your ground. What I have learned is simply to change my language. Instead of I prefer, I would rather, I think, I would like, I feel. Those words leave room for discussion.

[Dreamalittledream]

I had a mom refuse to provide emergency clothes.

. No way! Seriously? I can't think of a single way that makes sense?!

[Littledragon]

. No way! Seriously? I can't think of a single way that makes sense?!

She said she wanted to "keep track of the clutter". Whatever. She wanted to bring an extra change of clothes for me to change him every day before she came to pick him up. The SECOND day of this ridiculous routine, she forgot to put clean clothes in the bag. He got paint on the clothes she sent him in and then I had to change him into the clothes I'd changed him out of the day before and they were full of pasta hahahahahahahahahaha hahahaha

I shouldn't laugh, but it felt SO good!

[kidlove]

thats EXACTLY why I ask for "extras" to KEEP HERE!!!!! I had a total bi***! Mom, who was a massive "I 'm better than you" control freak, she insisted on bringing his bottle every day because she wanted to take it home each night a sanitize it!!!!!!! (like I was such a dirt ball I couldnt be trusted) anyway, she forgot the bottle one day, and her son screamed and cried for over an hour while she drove from work to home and out to my house with the "super clean" bottle!!!!!!! CONTROL FREAK!
I also used to purposefully take apart the outfits she packed in the bag (all rolled up together, right down to matching socks) and put them on him "miss-matched" before she picked up. No wonder things ended badly......I dont like control freaks!

[Mamma_Mia]

I also used to purposefully take apart the outfits she packed in the bag (all rolled up together, right down to matching socks) and put them on him "miss-matched" before she picked up.

I've been told by the dcp who watched my daughter (we're still friends and see each other 2-3 times a week) that I was one of the best 'parent' she's had to deal with. I would always send 2 outfits....one for that day as she allowed my DD to come in her pajama since it was so early and one extra. I too roll everything up including the matching socks and hair ties......and honestly THAT would drive me nuts if I saw everything out of order!!! that's my OCD coming out!! When I read your comment above I let out a GASP! hahhahaha I have a sickness! lol

[kidlove]

CONTROL!!!! had Moms like that, major pain in the behind they were.

[mimi]

So true kidlove! My dcb came back today after being sick for his 4 days last week. I previously offered my parents one week vacation free which this family used for dcb's sick days. I no longer offer this perk. I just know when Mom comes to pick her son up she will not want to pay for his sick days even though it is in the contract. I hate haven't to fight and justify for what is clearly in my contract. I will stand firm and insist on what is due no matter what. I too did the favours for my dc parents, but not when it means cash out of my pocket which they all seem willing to take. Her husband is dead set on not paying this. He is not paid if he doesn't work as a fitness pro (he makes $50 per/hr so he thinks I shouldn't be either and I make $5 per/hr caring for his kid. Uhhhhh

[Play and Learn]

If a family refuses something that I ask for, I refuse to provide care.

[kidlove]

AAAAHHHHH! I hate parents sometimes! how can people be so cheap? especially when it comes to the care of their child? I have definately learned over the years to become much more tough than I was when I started, that being said...I obviously have much more to go!!!!!! Thats what I hate about this job, is having to stick up for myself in the most obvious situations......I would NEVER say or do to a provider what is said and done to me. Not in a million years, that person has my childs life in their hands every day, I would appreciate them to the depths of the sea.