Hi Valerie, I am in Orleans too (near St. Peter's High school area). There is a very good chance that the child learned very early on that dad could not stand the crying either and that it got him what he wanted. Your job then will be to teach him that that doesn't work in the real world. He is old enough for you to talk to him about it but it also sounds like he wasn't pushed to mature at home either so pretend you are talking to a child a bit younger than he really is.

With tears in a child this age I tend to just call him on it such as telling him words is the only acceptable response or method for requesting something. Here when kids either come in with tears like that or develop them during the day they are required to take the tears to the table and to sit there till they are done and then join us again. Boring is a big motivator and it gives the child control over stopping and rejoing as compared to a time out that has a certain limit set to it. Ideally after a few trips to sit out you can move to reminders and warnings of t"urn off the tears or go sit" which is exactly as I would say it and in a firm voice. The tears might work at home but they don't here. Good news is kids will learn what they can get away with and go with it.

You are saying dad took paternity leave and child is now three so has he been home with dad for 3 years and no if any stimulation - did dad do playgroup or park or museums with him. He may just be totally out of his element and you will need to consider him alongside the 12-15 month olds in terms of coping skills.

It does make for very long days for you. Considering the older child is in school if you can hang in there another month or so and see if there is any improvement you could then use the end of the school year to cut your loses and interview again for September.

Any chance you live in the Forest Valley School area - I have a JK child to pass on to someone in that area.