Crying during nap... how long do you let it go on.

[apples and bananas]

My new little guy (12 months) has been with me for 3 weeks now... this is his second full week. He wakes up at 5am! on his own of course. He always falls asleep for the 2 min car ride here by 8ish. He needs an am nap... that I know! But he just won't sleep. When I put him down in the am he will scream and cry and jump for the entire 45 min. If he does sleep, he'll only do it for about 1/2 an hour and it's screaming and jumping until he passes out... same with when he wakes up... screams and jumps until I come and get him. Afternoon nap is the same. If he doesn't sleep in the am he will fall asleep almost immediatly at noon, but is awake again within 20 min.

I have tried swaddling... I have tried staying in the room... I have tried rubbing his back... I have tried re placing him on his back every 5/10/15 min. I have tried leaving him in there.. nothing's working! He does the same at home. Mom does the same as me... I'm fairly certain that she's staying on schedule.

So... I need my nap time! It's important to my sanity. How long to you keep a kid that just won't nap.

He's fine in every other way and I love having him around... but he's disruptive to the others during nap.

[kidlove]

The only idea i could give you would be to make sure you get him down like 30 minutes before the others, hopefully he could do his "scream" before they are ready to go down for nap? Other than that...I guess you just tough it out as long as you can, I would give it like maybe 3 weeks tops, I guess I would have to use my "breaking point meter" and not take him a minute longer, just depends with all kids, some cry louder, some just have a way to rub you the wrong way, and some just whine and you can put up with it longer. use your best judgement, but know your limits. thats a tough one. Nap time is VERY important to all children and for our sanity for sure! hope it gets better.

[Mamma_Mia]

Are you caring for my nephew? LOL

That's what it sould like and my sil & bil are horrible! He's 13mos, the second he even whimpers they RUSH up to go get him! On Monday we were over and I used sil's playpen to put my DD to nap while she was putting her son down too. My dd was out in 15min, she didn't want to miss the fun but caved in. I peeked into his room she was sitting on the rocker while he was walking around playing. She said "this is what he does until he's tired" I laughed at her! I told her put him in bed and LEAVE! You're allowing him to do "this". We were there from 1pm until 8pm and DD napped for 2.5hrs while my nephew didn't do more than 30min - he was up at 8am and didn't nap before we got there!!!

She's created the "monster" and then wonders why his dcp is having a hard time??? dummys

[kidlove]

oh mama mia, right there with you! I too have a nephew that my sis has turned into a monster!!!!! luckily he has been with me for 2 days a week and seems to be getting better with age, but he is literally THE MOST spoiled "stinker" I have EVER seen! She allows him to literally "climb" her body and pull out her hair (it's cute ) He shoves random things in her mouth, no joke....and she lets him. the other day we were sitting on the floor playing with a sticker off his wipe container, out of no where he starts attempting to "SHOVE" this sticker in my mouth, the more I moved my head and said "no" the more agressive and upset he got with me. He was trying to "run" me like he does her!!!! little sh**! I have to smile inside but at the very same time I think to myself "what a monster they have created" he also shoves her keys in her mouth oh and one time at a dinner, he started climbing her, pulling her hair, putting his hands in the food on OTHER PEOPLES plates and in drinks, and climbing onto the table, (he was about 14 mo) she looks at me and says "he always does this to me, and no one else" I couldnt hold it in any more, I just looked at her and said "he does it because you let him do it!" ooooohhh! she was so mad at me, told me this is why she and hubby want to move, everybody trying to tell them how to raise their child......SOMEONE HAS TOO!!!!! i love her so much but, what the crud? some people just dont get it!!!!

[Littledragon]

I would just continue doing what you're doing now. Decide on a method that works for you and stick with it (sitting in the room, staying out of the room, going in every 5 minutes...) for me, when I had my 12 month old screamer who wasn't on a schedule at home, I let him cry. It took a good 3-4 weeks. Mom and dad were trying at home, but they didn't have the "guts" to let him cry so it took a little longer here than it should have. But now, he's a great sleeper! I think the thing is that you've tried everything, and haven't stuck to one method. If it were me, it would be letting him scream and cry until he passes out and not going in until nap time if over NO MATTER WHAT. I know it sounds harsh, but it works. Luckily, I only had my son when this happened, so I put his dehumidifier in his room on high, right beside his crib and he couldn't hear a sound.

With my little screamer, I would put a toy - usually something that made a bit of noice, it was usually that plastic winnie the pooh book that made noises, and a cup. For the first little while, I even left the TV on (he was secluded in my room) so if he woke up, he had things to entertain him. Slowly, I took things away - he still has a toy sometimes, but no cup or TV. He's not moved into the nap room and shares the room with another little boy. He still thumps a bit in his playpen for about 30 minutes before he goes down for his afternoon nap, but he doesn't keep anyone up and he doesn't cry when he wakes up, or even make a peep. Even now, he's up in the nap room alone (huis roommate only takes afternoon naps) and I'm not even sure that he's sleeping. I'm not sure if he even sleeps the whole 1.5 hours he's in there, but he never makes a peep.

Just choose something, stick to it and BE PATIENT AND CONSISTENT. I would give it about 3 weeks on consitancy before terminating. But that's just me. If you're not willing to put up with the screaming, then maybe you should let him go. But I think that if you just hold off, it will get better. He's so young and maleable right now, it shouldn't take long.

Good luck!

[Littledragon]

oh mama mia, right there with you! I too have a nephew that my sis has turned into a monster!!!!! luckily he has been with me for 2 days a week and seems to be getting better with age, but he is literally THE MOST spoiled "stinker" I have EVER seen! She allows him to literally "climb" her body and pull out her hair (it's cute ) He shoves random things in her mouth, no joke....and she lets him. the other day we were sitting on the floor playing with a sticker off his wipe container, out of no where he starts attempting to "SHOVE" this sticker in my mouth, the more I moved my head and said "no" the more agressive and upset he got with me. He was trying to "run" me like he does her!!!! little sh**! I have to smile inside but at the very same time I think to myself "what a monster they have created" he also shoves her keys in her mouth oh and one time at a dinner, he started climbing her, pulling her hair, putting his hands in the food on OTHER PEOPLES plates and in drinks, and climbing onto the table, (he was about 14 mo) she looks at me and says "he always does this to me, and no one else" I couldnt hold it in any more, I just looked at her and said "he does it because you let him do it!" ooooohhh! she was so mad at me, told me this is why she and hubby want to move, everybody trying to tell them how to raise their child......SOMEONE HAS TOO!!!!! i love her so much but, what the crud? some people just dont get it!!!!

Kidlove, my sister in law is the same way with her daughter. And the worst part is, if you offer any advice, she says you don't know her child. She gives a lot of excuses for why she allows her to do things. She had her soother till she was 3, wasn't potty trained till she was 4, and she didn't even send her daughter to JK because she didn't feel she was ready. She's never been socialized, she's never really played with other kids. She's a NIGHTMARE. Her parents let he do anything she wants and it drives me nuts. She once said something rude to her mom, and I said "don't talk to your mother that way," her mom said "she's just mad" I said, "I don't care, there's no reason for her to disrespect you that way." I was pregnant with my son at the time and she said, "you just wait". Well, my 13 month old is more well behaved than her 4.5 year old! Spoiled little brat! lol but I love her anyways. I know parents do it because it's easier in the short term, to not have to discipline, but it's harder in the long run. Oh well. They'll learn soon enough lol

[kidlove]

glad to hear I'm not the only one who has concerns over the way a loved one is "screwing up" their kid!!!!! makes me feel better about the whole thing, parenting is such a controversial subject, there is alot of emotion in guarding our choices and sometimes feelings can be quite hurt...I have ruffled my sis's feathers on more than a few occasions. Litrally caused then to concider moving to another state just to get away from the comments of their family (not just me)

[apples and bananas]

I'm seriously considering terminating this child. It's so unfortunate cause he's a dream in every other aspect, but the nap... I can't listen to 2 hours of screaming and now it's upsetting the other kids too. I'm out of rooms to put him in where he won't wake anyone up. He's been here 2 full weeks plus 2 weeks of transition and we are still not making any headway at all! He is comfortable in every other way, he even comes right to me when mom drops him off in the am and has never carried on when she leaves. Seriously... the screaming I just can't take anymore. UGH!

[gcj]

I'm sorry. I feel your pain. I've had this happen in the past. I wish I could remember how long it lasted, but I honestly can't. A good month or so, I think...at least. I was lucky enough to have the space to seriously separate the screamer. All kids sleep up in the rooms and this one was in a room in the finished basement, which happens to be insulated since it's my hubby's music room. and after all else failed, I just let him scream it out while I watched TV with headphones since it's upsetting to listen to. He eventually gave up and was a dream napper for the remaining 4 years....

[Mamma_Mia]

She allows him to literally "climb" her body and pull out her hair (it's cute ) !!

OMG!!! My nephew too!!!! It's "the only way he'll fall alseep" she's got bald patches bedind her ears....I rocked him to sleep once and he tried that wiht me, a firm NO made him not try it again....but he NEEDS it? <eye roll> I told her well the dcp isn't going to LET him...duh!!